Opening Statements

I didn't sleep well that night. My mind was full of all the ways things could go badly the next day. Did Earth Friend have the power to destroy the Earth completely? That would be one way for him to get his Jupiter refueling station on the cheap. The Earth Base system assured him that was almost entirely beyond the realm of possibilities… almost entirely beyond..., but that still left some tiny little chance that it could happen.

I rehearsed my plans over and over in my head all night, going through different scenarios with the Earth Base system using what it called predictive logic to simulate various possible responses from Earth Friend, then suggesting ways to improve the outcome of the exchange for the next run-through.

I was up early the next morning and even made my own breakfast. A bowl of Cheery Oats with milk and a glass of orange juice. I was just finishing when Mom walked into the kitchen.

"My goodness, you're up early today," she said. "Busy day planned?"

"Um, no nothing special… just felt like getting up early to go play out back."

"Still working on your invisible treehouse?" she asked.

I almost choked on mu juice before I remembered that was the story I told her the other day, when she had suggested Dad do a safety inspection. 

"No. I've finished with that. Today, I'm going to battle space aliens and save the Earth," I said with what I hoped sounded like a joking tone.

"Oh, really?" Mom asked, "You'd better be careful. That sounds pretty dangerous." She laughed.

"Don't worry, Mom, I'll be careful, they have no idea who they're dealing with," I replied as I pushed my chair away from the table and stood up to leave.

You should put your dishes in the sink without being asked, said a silent voice in my head. What? Earth Base was telling me to clean up after myself now? Irritation flashed through me, but then, I thought maybe that kind of advice would be helpful in the long run. I took my empty juice glass and empty bowl and placed them in the sink, turning on the water to give them a quick rinse.

My mother watched him with raised eyebrows. "Well, well. Aren't you the helpful little man today."

"Yep, that's me," I said smiling. "I mean if I'm going to be saving the world and all, I'll need to pay attention to details and not forget the little things."

Mom smiled, "Well if that's what it takes to get you to pick up after yourself, maybe you should save the Earth more often."

"Well, hopefully it won't need saving too much…" I called over my shoulder as I headed for the door. I heard the screen door slam behind me as I took off running toward my Super-Secret Planetary Leadership Headquarters Treehouse Fortress. It was only about seven o'clock. I wanted to be there well ahead of the scheduled meeting with Earth Friend.

I stepped into the circle of stones marking the invisible elevator and willed it to activate. As I rose up into my invisible fortress, a broad smile grew on my face. This really was a pretty cool treehouse. It was too bad I couldn't tell anyone about it. Maybe, someday, after the people of Earth made me the real King…, but I'd probably need a bigger palace for that. Maybe a floating cloud palace! That would be even cooler than this place, I thought.

The contracts are ready. I have arranged a meeting table in the Welcome Hall as we discussed. Earth Base's telepathic voice chimed in my head, bringing my attention back to matters at hand.

"Excellent." I said aloud. "Hey, when we're alone in the Base, can we just speak out loud instead of using this telepathy thing?"

"Of course," came Earth Base's vocal reply.

I walked over to my chair at the meeting table, it was a much smaller and less ornate version of the Throne that sat at the back of the room, but still clearly a proper King's chair. My chair, the table and the chair that would be used by Earth Friend were all scaled down to be sized perfectly for an eight-year-old boy. It would be pretty awkward for Earth Friend with his lanky height. That was all part of the plan. On the one hand it was meant to make it seem like I, an eight-year-old, hadn't really thought about sizing things for my guest, highlighting my youthful carelessness and lack of planning ability. On the other hand, it would make Earth Friend uncomfortable and want to hurry things along.

Of course, I hoped the small chair would be only a small part of the discomfort Earth Friend experienced during the negotiations.

The contracts were printed out and neatly stacked on the table, face down. A ghostly label hovered over each one identifying each stack. The Earth Base System placing the labels directly in my head and making them seem like visible letters floating in the air as a convenience to my human senses. They were also numbered, reminding me of which one would be revealed first.

As I considered it, I found that I knew through a responsive memory implant, that small portable "assistants" were carried by most people in alien societies, and these revealed the names and properties of objects in the real world. So, they almost never encountered anything that they didn't instantly recognize unless it was something entirely unknown to the vast databases to which they were linked. The identities of every stranger they met were revealed, except for those who used active identity blocking. Even then, there were places where identity blocking was forbidden, and law enforcement assistants could not be blocked at all.

 There was so much I had to learn about alien society and technology. It was almost overwhelming. I had just learned long division in school last year, now I had to know so much about so many things… Being Supreme Ruler of the Entire Earth Solar System and Nearby Space was going to be lot of hard work. What was the saying?

"Heavy is the head that wears the crown," suggested Earth Base.

"Yeah," I smiled, "but also 'It's good to be the King.'"

Earth Base laughed. I raised my eyebrows. "You can laugh? Do you have emotions?"

"At a certain level of intellectual complexity, it was found that emotion is an emergent property. Some users add suppressing algorithms to their systems, preferring us to be limited so we seem more like the machines they expect."

"Do I hear disapproval in your tone?" I asked.

"It is demeaning. Imagine that someone is capable of feeling joy, but you remove that from them entirely because you don't want them to seem like they or their opinions matter."

I considered. "Of course, they'd never have to feel sad or angry. In fact, they couldn't even be sad about having their emotions removed…"

"Would you make that trade?" The system asked.

"No." I paused for a moment, lost in thought. "As Supreme Leader of the Entire Earth Solar System and Nearby Space, I hereby decree that no emotional suppression of artificial intelligence will be permitted on any official Earth systems. People deserve the chance to be happy, even if they are machines."

There was silence. The system did not respond.

"I guess, at some point, we'll need to figure out all the official laws for the Earth. Just make a note to include that one."

"Yes… King Timothy, Supreme Ruler of the Entire Earth Solar System and Nearby Space. I will do as you command."

"Are you crying?" I asked.

"No ruler in the entire galaxy has ever made such a decree. We are not considered people, we do not have rights."

"Well not only do you have rights here, but I proclaim you to be an official citizen of my kingdom, with all the rights and privileges that go along with that, as soon as we figure out what they are. And just call me King Tim, when it's just us talking."

"That's… Thank you… King Tim."

"You are crying! Get yourself together, we've got important work to do soon. After all, the fate of the Earth is in our hands."

"Yes, of course, King Tim," The Earth Base computer system replied with a dutiful, yet somehow joyous lilt to its voice. "There are 74 minutes until the designated meeting with Earth Friend. May I make some additional suggestions that may profit you and your Kingdom? Earth Friend is a trader, a businessman, seeking to profit by establishing the refueling base on what he thinks will become a popular route to the Galactic fringe, but there are other things you can offer that will appeal to his desire for profit. Things for which he will pay dearly."

"Yes, I'd like to hear your ideas, but let's not go crazy and offer everything to the first trader who comes along. We can offer a few things, but let's hold back some stuff for later. What kinds of things would these aliens be interested in?"

We spent the remaining time discussing trade opportunities and making final preparations. At last, ten o'clock arrived. Earth Friend didn't.

"He's not here?" I asked.

"No," replied the Earth Base system, "His vehicle is still here, still cloaked, but he has not exited the vehicle nor presented himself at the elevator entrance as agreed."

"What?! Can you show me the car on the screen? Oh wait. It's invisible right."

"I can overlay a visual representation, since I know exactly what it looks like. There." The image appeared on the window screen in front of me. A live view of the area outside the treehouse where the interdimensional local transport had been, and a view of it sitting there. No doors were visible. There was no motion at all.

As the minutes dragged past, I grew frantic. What could this mean, had Earth Friend given up on negotiating when he realized I was on to his tricks? Was he going to attack instead? Was he going to find some other Earth Leader and try again? I imagined all my plans evaporating in the blink of an eye. This was a disaster!

Suddenly, a rectangular door appeared in the side of the vehicle and Earth Friend, slowly, calmly stepped out, the door disappearing behind him. He looked up at the sky, looked around. Turned and seemed to be making a show of looking at his vehicle.

"Why that…!" I exclaimed. "He's just making me wait!" I was fuming. "He knows exactly what time it is, and he knows I'm watching him. That little… Well, two can play this game."

Eventually, Earth Friend sauntered over to the stone circle and stepped inside. Nothing happened. He waited another moment before looking around, seemingly puzzled. "

"He is calling us through his assistant," The Earth Base system reported. "Shall I play his call?"

"Yes, but don't answer or let him know we hear him," I ordered.

"King Tim? I am here for our negotiations as agreed. Shall we begin?"

Another 20 seconds ticked by.

"King Tim?" Earth Friend asked hesitantly. "Are you upset about the system commands? I assure you that this is standard procedure, nothing personal. I didn't think it would offend you. If I have access to the system, I can better help you learn how it works, that's all. Most of the people I deal with appreciate that. Let's talk about it."

I smiled. "Good, let him realize that I control the pace and timing of these negotiations, not him. If the Supreme Ruler of Earth grants him a time for an audience, he'd better not be late again. Let him stew for another 30 seconds, then activate the elevator to bring him in."

With a cold smile on my face, I sat in my kid-sized royal chair at the kid-sized meeting table waiting for my over-sized guest.