Guns, Swords, and Furry Assassins

It was night, and I was out here walking because I couldn't sleep. (Not like I'm trying to be Batman or anything. No tragic backstory here—just insomnia and bad decisions.)

My mind was still stuck on what happened today. The gun.

"Well, I thought of having a gun, and it appeared," I muttered to myself, staring at my empty hands. "Maybe I'll get anything I imagine, eeh?"

I focused, squinting at my palm. "Alright, let's try something simple. Apple."

Nothing happened.

"…Okay. How about a million gold coins?"

Still nothing.

"Or maybe it's just a way for the author to make me suffer."

At that exact moment, a cold breeze slapped me in the face like destiny itself wanted me to shut up. I sighed. "Well, whatever."

Then, because my life is an endless cycle of bullshit, someone in black attacked me from behind with a sword.

I dodged, flipping backward like a circus act. "OH, COME ON!"

The first thing I noticed about my attacker? The ears.

"Bad kitty."

She lunged again. I barely dodged, feeling the air shift from how close that was.

And then it hit me—I was **screwed.**

Because like a dumbass, I had left both my sword **and** the gun back in my room.

"Hey, hey, can we—" I ducked another slash. "—maybe calm the fuck down and—" I sidestepped a second strike. "—TALK THIS OUT LIKE CIVILIZED PEOPLE?"

She answered by swinging again. Real social type, this one.

This time, I caught her arm mid-swing and **slammed her ass into the ground** like I was auditioning for the next WWE championship. Her sword went flying. I took a step back. "Alright! You're disarmed, so can we please—"

She rolled, snatched another sword **out of nowhere,** and pointed it at me.

I blinked. "Where the actual fuck did you even keep that?"

She didn't answer. Just lunged again.

I blocked, then kicked her in the stomach, sending her stumbling back. I went for a counterattack, but she dodged **too fast,** got behind me, and kicked me square in the back. I went forward, but caught myself before I could eat dirt.

She lunged again. I dodged, barely. But this time, I managed to **slice right through her mask.**

She stopped. Hesitated. Then slowly peeled the mask the rest of the way off.

**Fox ears.**

I exhaled dramatically. "Oh, for fuck's sake, can we just NOT fight for five minutes? My life is already a circus."

For the first time, she actually spoke. "I'm Lyra Fenwick."

I raised an eyebrow. "Okay? And?"

She ignored that. "You're Leon Oseven."

"Yeah. Kinda already knew that part." I squinted. "In any chance, did Julian or Amilya send you to kill me?"

"No…"

I crossed my arms. "...Then why the hell are you trying to kill me?"

She sheathed her sword. "I'm your senior. I wanted to test your skills."

I stared at her. "You people have **insane** ways of handling things."

"That's my way of doing things."

I threw my hands up. "Oh sure, yeah, totally normal. Randomly attack someone in the middle of the night to 'test' them. Not weird **at all.**"

She didn't respond. Just turned and started walking away like she didn't just try to kill me a minute ago.

"Hey, HEY! I wasn't done talking! **Take your damn sword back!**"

She glanced over her shoulder. "Keep it. And I'm a fox, not a cat."

With that, she vanished into the night like a proper anime rival.

I stared after her, then sighed. "Maybe the author just really likes furries."

Well, whatever.