Surprise, You Had a Childhood Friend! (And She's Clingy as Hell)

Morning.

I was making my way through the school halls, heading toward my throne (the legendary back bench) because, at this point, sitting anywhere else would be a crime against my entire existence.

I sighed. "Man, this is some bullshit. First, some noble rich bastard declares himself my arch-nemesis, then a random fox girl tries to assassinate me. What's next? A long-lost twin? A secret prophecy?"

I was halfway through contemplating my miserable fate when—

"LEON!"

—I got tackled.

And when I say tackled, I mean full-body, rib-cracking, breath-stealing, WWE-level TACKLED.

Suddenly, my face was smothered in something soft.

…Warm.

…Suspiciously chest-shaped.

Oh, no.

"What the—?!" I tried to pull back, but this woman had a grip stronger than my will to live.

"Leon, I missed you! You're finally here!"

"WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!" I struggled like a wild animal caught in a net, but she just held me tighter, like a yandere trying to make sure I never escape.

Then.

Then.

She tilted my head up.

She leaned in.

SHE WAS GOING FOR A KISS.

"WHOA WHOA WHOA LADY, LADY, HOLD THE FUCK UP!"

JOLTED. IMMEDIATE SYSTEM SHUTDOWN. ESCAPE PROTOCOL ACTIVATED.

I flailed like a dying fish and somehow managed to break free, stumbling backward, panting like I just ran from a serial killer.

The entire hallway had gone silent.

Students stared. Whispers spread.

Random student 1: "Wait… isn't that Rin Ashford?"

Random student 2: "The noble lady from the Ashford family??"

Random student 3: "HOLY SHIT, IS LEON ACTUALLY A LADY-KILLER?!"

I, meanwhile, was rebooting.

She pouted. "Leon, don't tell me you don't remember me!"

"Yeah, I don't remember you. You sure you got the right guy?"

She gasped, dramatically clutching her chest like a rejected romance anime heroine. "You… you forgot me?!"

I sighed. "Lady, I don't even remember what I ate for breakfast. My brain runs on pure survival instinct at this point."

She fake sniffled. "I can't believe you forgot your childhood friend!"

…

Childhood friend.

…

OH, FUCK ME.

OF COURSE, THERE'S A CHILDHOOD FRIEND.

This is a fantasy setting. A school. There's always a childhood friend. It's the law. How did I not see this coming?!

She tilted her head. "What are you mumbling about?"

I pinched the bridge of my nose. "Just… questioning my entire life, it's fine."

Then, because life wasn't already enough of a fucking joke, someone else decided to join the chaos.

"Rin, stop being a nuisance."

Oh, great.

I turned. "Oh hey, Lyra! You know, the person who almost murdered me last night!"

Lyra narrowed her eyes. If looks could kill, I'd have died twice.

Rin ignored her and clung to my arm. "You're no fun, Lyra! I was reuniting with my dear childhood friend!"

Lyra crossed her arms. "Do that after class. We're seniors, and you're setting a terrible example right now."

I blinked. "Wait. You're both seniors?"

Rin smiled. "Yup!"

"So… why the fuck am I the one getting bullied?"

Lyra sighed. "Because you're an idiot."

Rin nodded. "And you're cute."

I squinted. "That second one is not relevant, but I will take it."

Then Rin grabbed my face and squished my cheeks. "You better not run away this time, Leon!"

I raised both hands. "No, ma'am. Won't even try."

…That was a fucking lie.

If I live through today without some other random plot twist, I'll be shocked.