The Story of E – Chapter 3: I Did Not Sign Up for This
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[System Alert: Congratulations! You have successfully erased your existence.]
[Warning: This action is irreversible. You will now enter the Singularity Trial.]
[Error: The protagonist has realized he has no idea what's going on.]
...Wait.
What?
E—previously known as Eden D. Souldrake—stood in absolute nothingness. Again. Except this time, there were no mysterious books, no existential reflections of himself, and most importantly—no instructions.
Just endless darkness and an unsettling silence.
A silence that lasted exactly five seconds before he sighed. Deeply.
"Alright, let's process this. I erased myself, ended up in a weird starry water world, had a cryptic conversation with myself, grabbed a glowing fragment, and now I'm in... nothingness."
He nodded to himself.
"This is fine."
A pause.
"...Actually, no, it's not.
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1. The Great Loading Screen of Fate
As if answering his frustration, a sudden DING! echoed through the void.
[System Rebooting… Please Wait.]
A loading bar materialized in front of him. It was at 2%.
E stared at it.
It blinked.
He blinked.
It blinked again.
"You're joking."
The bar jumped to 2.1%.
"This has to be the worst isekai transition I've ever seen," he muttered, rubbing his temples.
[3%.]
E closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
Fine. He could be patient. He was the embodiment of patience itself. He could wait.
He lasted thirty seconds.
Then, he kicked the loading bar.
It flickered.
Then, a message popped up:
[Error: User is attempting to defy the fundamental laws of existence. Please wait patiently.]
[Estimated time remaining: 999+ years.]
E immediately regretted his choices.
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2. The Customer Service of Reality
"Okay, let's not panic."
There had to be a way out of this. Maybe if he... restarted the system? Called for help? Filed a formal complaint with the cosmic authorities?
He clapped his hands together.
"Hello? I'd like to speak to a manager?"
Silence.
"Anybody? Guide? Voice-in-the-void? Discounted omnipotent entity willing to negotiate?"
The void responded.
[Your request has been acknowledged. Redirecting to customer service.]
A bright light flashed, and suddenly, E was sitting at a cheap office desk in a corporate help center.
The walls were lined with motivational posters. A floating sign behind the counter read: "Multiversal Help Desk – Your Afterlife, Our Problem!"
And behind the desk was... a humanoid lizard in a business suit.
The lizard adjusted its tiny reading glasses.
"Welcome to the Multiversal Help Desk! My name is Greg. How may I assist you today?"
E stared.
Greg stared back.
What.
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3. The Bureaucracy of the Beyond
"I—" E pinched the bridge of his nose. "Okay, listen. I was in the middle of an existential transformation into a higher being, and now I'm stuck in some loading screen purgatory with a countdown of a thousand years. Help."
Greg nodded sagely. "Ah, a classic case of 'Existential Overwrite Lag.' Happens all the time."
E blinked. "It happens all the time?"
"Oh, yes. Becoming a Singularity is like installing a new operating system. Sometimes, the update freezes, and you end up in the cosmic equivalent of a waiting room."
Greg pulled out a massive stack of paperwork.
"Now, if you could just fill out forms A-27 through Z-99, we can expedite your process to about... five to six hundred years?"
E stared at the paperwork. Then at Greg. Then back at the paperwork.
Then, he grabbed Greg by the tie.
"Listen, Greg. My entire existence is literally on hold, and I don't have six hundred years to spare. There has to be a faster way."
Greg sighed, fixing his tie.
"Well, there is... but you won't like it."
E crossed his arms. "Try me."
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4. The Fast-Track to Destiny
Greg shuffled through the papers, muttering, "Ah, here we go… Emergency Forced Progression Clause. Just sign here, and we can bypass the whole loading process."
E grabbed the pen without hesitation.
"What's the catch?"
"Oh, nothing much. Just a small chance of immediate death, infinite suffering, or reality imploding around you. You know, the usual risks."
E did not hesitate. He signed the form.
Greg looked at the signature, then pressed a big red button under his desk.
"Welp. Good luck."
The universe exploded.
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5. Waking Up in Chaos
When E opened his eyes, he was no longer in the void.
He was standing in a massive, ruined city. Crumbling skyscrapers loomed over him, their glass shattered. Fires burned in the distance. The sky was cracked—literally cracked, like someone had broken reality itself.
And then—a deafening roar.
E turned his head.
And immediately regretted everything.
A colossal abomination stood at the edge of the ruins, covered in twisting tendrils and too many glowing eyes. It exuded an aura of pure insanity, a presence that should have driven any normal being mad.
E sighed. Deeply.
"I should have read the fine print."
Then, the monster charged.
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