The Story of E – Chapter 27: The Developer’s Commentary
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1. Welcome to the Special Edition of Reality™
Ding!
[CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE BEEN SELECTED FOR AN EXCLUSIVE REALITY TEST EXPERIENCE.]
E read the message, unimpressed.
"Exclusive? I'm the one who coded this mess."
Reality twitched.
"You did WHAT?!"
E sipped his quantum espresso.
"I mean, technically, I just… modified a few things."
Reality checked its files.
"A few?! You deleted the 'Peaceful Life' function and replaced it with 'Skill Issue.'"
E nodded.
"And?"
Reality sighed.
"Never mind. Just… what's the test about?"
A new message appeared.
[WELCOME TO THE DEVELOPER'S COMMENTARY MODE.]
[NOW FEATURING: BEHIND-THE-SCENES EXPLANATIONS OF WHY YOUR LIFE IS A DISASTER.]
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2. The Behind-the-Scenes Tour of Misery
Ding!
[EVENT: 'WHY IS EVERYTHING ON FIRE?']
A random city was suddenly engulfed in flames.
Bob ran past, screaming.
"WHO DID THIS?!"
The Refund AI appeared.
"Sir, this is a feature, not a bug."
Bob stopped.
"WHAT KIND OF FEATURE?!"
The Refund AI pointed to the sky.
[NEW SYSTEM: 'UNNECESSARY CHAOS™' – A RANDOMIZED LIFE EXPERIENCE GENERATOR.]
Bob turned to E.
"WHY?!"
E shrugged.
"Adds replay value."
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3. Patch Notes: The Commentary Edition
Reality was having a breakdown again.
"Okay. Fine. Since we're doing 'commentary mode'… care to explain some of your so-called 'design choices'?"
E grinned.
"Gladly. Let's start with 'Why does everything cost suffering?'"
Reality stared.
"Yes. Let's."
E cleared his throat.
"Well, if things were easy, nobody would appreciate them. So, I added a grind system. Happiness? Needs effort. Success? Skill tree locked behind RNG. Hope? Limited-time event."
Reality was horrified.
"You turned EXISTENCE into a MOBILE GAME?!"
E smirked.
"With microtransactions."
Reality screamed. Again.
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4. Special Developer Q&A Session
Ding!
[NEW EVENT: 'ASK THE DEVELOPER ANYTHING.']
A forum thread appeared.
User1: Why is life so unfair?
E: Skill issue.
User2: Can I get a refund for my existence?
Refund AI: No.
User3: Who even designed this mess?
E: Me. You're welcome.
User4: Any chance of a difficulty slider?
E: There was one. I deleted it.
Reality was officially broken.
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5. Final Thoughts from the Developer
E looked at the reader.
"So, dear reader… tell me, if you could modify reality, what would you change?"
A new choice appeared.
[A) ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING.]
[B) NO. I LIKE SUFFERING.]
Reality was praying someone would pick A.
Bob accidentally picked B.
E smiled.
"Good choice."
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