Finn Accidentally Unlocks Something Stupid

The machine flashed.

Lillian leaned forward. "Tell me, Finn, have you ever experienced strange luck?"

Finn: "I MEAN, I'VE SURVIVED EVERYTHING SO FAR."

Lillian grinned. "Fascinating. The machine has detected a power within you."

Finn: "…Oh no."

The screen flashed again.

> Ability Identified: UNSTOPPABLE SURVIVOR

Description: No matter what happens, you will survive. Barely.

Finn blinked. "Wait. That's my power?"

Lillian giggled. "Oh, this explains so much."

Finn: "NO IT DOESN'T."

Lillian: "You should be dead at least twelve times over, but instead, you just barely scrape by. Every time."

Finn: "THAT'S NOT A SUPERPOWER. THAT'S JUST MY LIFE BEING TERRIBLE."

Lillian: "Oh, Finn. You don't understand. This is the rarest kind of power."

Finn: "…Luck?"

Lillian: "ABSOLUTE luck."

Finn: "…So basically, I'm doomed to keep surviving ridiculous nonsense forever?"

Lillian: "Correct!"

Finn: "I HATE EVERYTHING."