The Bitter-Sweet Farewell

It turned out that Guan Yu had fallen asleep with her head resting on my left shoulder. I had planned to wake her up, but as I looked at her peaceful, sleeping face, I found myself hesitating. I suddenly felt a sense of tenderness, mixed with a strange kind of nostalgia. Was my shoulder really that comfortable? Two women had now rested their heads there. Du Feiyu had once cried on it, and now Guan Yu was sleeping on it. At least Guan Yu hadn't left a trail of tears and snot like Du Feiyu had.

But there was no denying that this was a rather intimate position. I could feel her soft breath, and when I glanced sideways, I could see the glimpse of what lay beneath her collar. It was the first time I had seen a woman's lingerie, and I swear, I couldn't look away. It felt like my eyes were stuck inside her clothes, unable to escape. Damn it! What was I thinking? I already had A-Yu! I quickly shut my eyes, trying not to let my thoughts wander. I can't be unfaithful to A-Yu.

But then a voice inside my head urged me to take another look. Just one more time, it said. Unable to resist, I gave in to the temptation. I took another glance, then decided I'd wake up Guan Yu and tell her to stop sleeping like this or she'd catch a cold. Yeah, that's what I'd do.

I opened my eyes again, greedily taking in the view of the mysterious world beneath her collar. I must have stared for more than ten minutes. Pathetic, I thought, I was completely mesmerized. It wasn't until the train announced that we had arrived in Longjiang that I snapped back to reality. I quickly pulled my eyes away, letting out a sigh. I guess Guan Yu is about 34C. Well, that's a win, right?

I wanted to check if A-Yu had woken up, but as soon as I turned my head, I caught the cold, distant look in her eyes. She had already packed her things and was standing in the aisle, staring at me. There was something like hurt in her gaze. When she saw me looking at her, she turned her head away and walked off.

Crap! Why is everything falling apart? I hurriedly woke up Guan Yu, grabbed my painting bag, and ran after Du Feiyu. The train had stopped, and the crowd began to push toward the exits. By the time I managed to squeeze off the train, Du Feiyu was already in a cab, leaving me alone at the train station, dazed.

After the exams, everyone was on break. A week later, we went to school to check our scores and fill out our university applications. I kept calling Du Feiyu, trying to explain that the other day was just a misunderstanding. But she didn't pick up, and when I called again, her phone was off.

When I got home, my family had prepared a feast of my favorite dishes: stir-fried pork, scrambled eggs with tomatoes, and three-flavor potatoes. My dad even took out some beer from the fridge and said, "You've finished your exams, let's have a couple of bottles to celebrate." I looked at the food on the table, but for some reason, I had no appetite. Suddenly, I realized my mother wasn't there. I asked my father, "Where's Mom?"

He didn't answer right away. He took a sip of his liquor, then pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket and handed it to me. I took it from him, and the large, bold print on the page hit me like a punch to the gut.

It was a divorce agreement.

What? Divorce? No way! Sure, my mom and dad argued a lot—small fights every three days and big ones every two days—but I never thought it would go this far. And this had happened while I was away for the exams? This couldn't be real. Could it?

I stood up, my voice shaking. "What's going on? Why didn't you tell me?!"

My dad motioned for me to sit back down. He began explaining that their relationship had been strained for years, but for my sake, they'd tried to keep the family together. About a month ago, they'd decided to get a divorce but had waited until after my exams to make it official, not wanting to affect me.

I couldn't hold back my anger. "Why did you just let her go like that? Why didn't you try to keep her?" I was already a mess, and this news hit me like a ton of bricks. One disaster after another, who could handle all of this? I looked at my father, his eyes filled with pain, and in a sudden outburst, he downed his cup of liquor and said:

"She's been seeing someone else."

I was speechless. No more anger left in me. I just lay in bed that night, the hours slipping by unnoticed. It was already past four in the morning, and I hadn't slept at all. My father's words kept echoing in my head, and I found myself no longer blaming him. He wasn't at fault; he was a victim too. My mom wasn't at fault either—everyone has the right to pursue their own happiness. But what about me? Where did I go wrong?

I lit a cigarette and took a deep drag, holding the smoke in my lungs for a long moment. The burning sensation felt almost comforting. As the smoke left my body, my mind was flooded with the events of the past few days. Every single one of them felt like it could break me. I had always thought life was supposed to be filled with sunshine, but right now, when I opened my eyes, all I saw was darkness. Where was my sunshine?

I had once vowed not to let anything I cherished slip away from me, but now I found myself wondering: Could I really keep that promise? For the first time in my life, I questioned myself.

I couldn't say how the next week passed. I didn't call my mom because I knew it would be futile. All I could do was try to comfort my dad as best as I could. By Sunday night, I realized the next day I had to go to school to fill out my university application. I also realized I might disappoint my dad once again. And that Du Feiyu was still angry at me.

I was the last one to arrive at school. By the time I got there, most people had already filled out their applications and left. Including Du Feiyu. Just as I expected. Right now, I didn't have the energy or the mood to explain anything to her. I just had to fill in the same choices she had. I'd explain things to her once we were both in Harbin. Whether I'd even be accepted to university was another matter.

Whatever. Let's just put everything on hold for now. I needed peace and quiet.

Two weeks later, the scores came out. Even though I had prepared myself for the worst, when I saw my total score was 379, it still hit me like a ton of bricks. Du Feiyu had gotten into her dream school, while I, without any surprise, had failed.

That evening, I called Du Feiyu, and to my surprise, she answered. I congratulated her on getting into university, and she said only one thing:

"I'm leaving on the 10th of next month, in the morning."

Before I could say anything else, she hung up. What did that mean? I kept thinking about it. Maybe, just maybe, she had forgiven me.

Yes, I still had hope. I still had another chance to apply to university. The next day, I rushed to school and checked the universities accepting supplementary applications. I found that with my score, I could still apply to quite a few schools. But there was only one in Harbin, and it wasn't the school Du Feiyu had applied to. It was a branch of an art academy. But I didn't care. As long as it was in Harbin, I could see her every day. I didn't hesitate. I filled out the application form and felt a little lighter.

As for my dad, he was always there for me. He said it didn't matter where I went, as long as I was a good person. I told him about Du Feiyu, and after hearing it, he didn't say much. He simply told me, "You're old enough now. You have the right to make your own choices. Just make sure you don't regret it."

On the morning of the 10th, I woke up early and headed to the train station. The train to Harbin was at 6 am, and the station was packed. Amid the crowd, I spotted Du Feiyu, her luggage in hand, surrounded by her family. I didn't approach her. As the train pulled in and people began boarding, I watched her pass through the ticket gate. When she walked past the window where I was standing, she saw me. I looked at her through the glass, tears welling up in my eyes, and I wrote "Wait" on the glass with my finger.

She smiled at me before getting on the train.

In my memory, that was the last time I saw her smile. On my way home, the sun was just rising, and I felt like my hope had returned.

(Story setup mostly complete; the next chapter will move the plot forward. If you're enjoying the story, please support with a vote, thanks!)