The Steambird's Special Report

Charlotte adjusted her newly acquired "Camera Upgrade Module," aiming the lens at the blue-roofed cottage's display window. As the mechanical gears clicked for the third time, the viewfinder suddenly locked onto the opposite bank of the Dewlight Spring—Furina was crouched beside a trash bin in the Palais Mermonia's back alley, her cheeks puffed up like a Blubberbeast storing food. 

"Is the Hydro Archon… eating cake scraps?!" The reporter's hand trembled, triggering the camera's burst mode. Twenty high-definition photos captured Furina with her hat askew, cream smeared on her lips, clutching a half-eaten "Palais Mermonia Special" strawberry mousse. 

Lumine facepalmed as mechanical otters scurried around. "Isn't this upgrade module too smart?" 

"It just added auto-tracking." Kazuha adjusted the data pad, only to be startled by an alert—Charlotte's camera was transmitting the photos to every newsstand in the city via steam pipes. 

The bakery across the street suddenly lit up with a holographic projection: *Shocking! A God Reduced to This!* Below the headline, Furina's nine-photo eating spree cycled five times per second. A passing Melusine guard dropped her donut, mouth agape. 

"Hack the system!" Lumine used Anemo to scoop up three otters. "Lynette taught you how to cut signals, right?" 

The little creatures' chest screens flickered as they jumped onto the steam pipes, playing *Funeral March*. Every newsstand in the city glitched, Furina's embarrassing photos replaced with static, finally freezing on a pre-planted alternative—*Hydro Archon's Charity Special: Comforting Stray Blubberbeasts*. 

Furina kicked open the cottage door, her skirt still smeared with cream: "Are you selling cameras or god-slaying weapons?!" She tossed out ten limited-edition "Divine Blessing" blind boxes. "I need something to reverse public opinion!" 

Upon opening, the shop was engulfed in pink smoke. Twelve mechanical pigeons emerged, carrying holographic cards of *Furina's Gourmet Vlog* to every district. The bakery across the street suddenly played the Hydro Archon's voice: "A true god dares to face a cream-filled life!" 

When Charlotte rushed in, she found Furina devouring cake on camera: "This is the Palais Mermonia's new 'Divine Outreach Program'!" She swallowed and pointed off-screen at Lumine. "Next, the blind box shop owner will demonstrate how to purify water with 'Justice Cake'!" 

Lumine reluctantly threw a strawberry mousse into the Dewlight Spring. Blubberbeasts swarmed, and the water glowed with purification—Kazuha had secretly poured in three barrels of elemental activator. 

Late at night in the Steambird's printing press, Charlotte was destroying the negatives. The camera suddenly activated, projecting a chibi Furina: "Want exclusive interview rights? Trade tomorrow's headline for it!" 

The reporter's finger hovered over the delete button. The holographic screen displayed the *Hydro Archon's Midnight Diner* proposal, with a "monthly exclusive scoop" clause. Outside, Clorinde's figure flashed, her sword tip holding a *Truth Exchange Agreement*. 

Meanwhile, in the Spina di Rosula's basement, Navia smirked at the stolen negatives: "Turn Furina licking cream into multilingual memes. They'll come in handy for negotiations with Snezhnaya." 

Lynette's mechanical otter crawled out of the vent, its tail tied with encrypted communications between Navia and Charlotte—the battle for headlines was far bloodier than the newspapers. 

The next morning, Neuvillette struck his gavel: "The hearing on the 'Camera Upgrade Module Malfunction Incident' is now in session." 

Kazuha, in the defendant's seat, presented the new "Privacy Protection Filter." Charlotte demonstrated in court: when aimed at Furina, the camera automatically applied *Light Ripple* stage makeup. The Hydro Archon suddenly raised her hand from the gallery: "I request a 'cake beautification' feature!" 

Clorinde's evidence caused an uproar—intercepted negatives revealed Neuvillette's office housed a full set of *Genius Invokation TCG* limited-edition cards. The Chief Justice remained calm: "These are vital samples for studying adolescent psychology." 

The final verdict: all cameras must install "Blubberbeast Sticker Filters," automatically adding a "Divine Radiance" effect when photographing deities. 

As moonlight bathed the Steambird's headquarters, Charlotte installed the latest filter. The lens captured Furina releasing lanterns on the Dewlight Spring, each lotus lantern engraved with "Cake God" patterns. The camera suddenly caught movement across the water—Lynette and Navia exchanging a safe filled with negatives. 

"This is the real headline…" Charlotte's mechanical earrings spun wildly, but the focus refused to lock. Lynette glanced back at the lens, tossing a "Media Silence" blind box. The silencer it contained plunged the entire street into silence. 

Meanwhile, in a hidden room atop the Palais Mermonia, the real Furina was feasting. Before her floated three hundred "embarrassing eating photos," her fingertips transforming them into illustrations for *Research on Divine Dietary Culture*.