chapter 87: the quiet of healing

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The days that followed were a blur of half-hearted attempts to regain normalcy. Kaori had always been someone who loved the rhythms of life—the early mornings spent sipping coffee by the window, the gentle hum of her daily routines, the quiet peace of familiar places. But now, each day felt like a battle against a sea of exhaustion and grief, each moment stretching longer than the one before.

Yumi had stayed with her, offering comfort in small ways. She insisted on bringing food, coaxing Kaori to eat even when her appetite had vanished entirely. She encouraged Kaori to take walks outside, to breathe in the fresh air, to feel something other than sorrow. But despite her efforts, Kaori couldn't escape the heavy silence that loomed in the spaces between every action.

One morning, Yumi arrived at Kaori's apartment with a small bouquet of flowers. It was a small gesture, one Kaori had come to expect from her compassionate friend, but today it felt almost like an intrusion. She was tired of pretending. Tired of forcing herself to smile when all she wanted to do was shut the world out. But Yumi didn't seem to mind. She just placed the flowers on the counter and sat down next to Kaori, who was staring out of the window.

"You've been quiet lately," Yumi said softly, her voice filled with understanding.

Kaori turned her head slowly, her gaze meeting Yumi's. "What's there to say?" she asked bitterly, her voice hoarse. "I feel like I'm just… existing. I don't know how to move forward. I don't know how to be without him."

Yumi reached out, her hand resting gently on Kaori's. "It's okay not to have all the answers. You don't have to know exactly what comes next. What you're feeling is valid. But you can't stay stuck in this moment forever. I know it's hard, but you have to start taking those small steps."

Kaori closed her eyes, feeling the tears welling up once again. "But it feels like I'm drowning, Yumi. Like I'll never come up for air. And I don't even know if I want to anymore."

Yumi squeezed her hand, her grip strong but comforting. "I know it's overwhelming. But you won't drown. Not when you have people who care about you. Not when you have people who want to help you find your way back."

Kaori laughed bitterly, a sound that didn't quite reach her eyes. "I don't even know who I am anymore. I don't know what to do without him in my life. It's like he was the missing piece to everything, and now that he's gone, I feel… lost."

Yumi's expression softened, her eyes gentle and full of empathy. "Maybe he was part of who you were, but he wasn't everything. You're more than just your relationship with Kaito. You're more than this pain."

Kaori couldn't speak for a moment. The silence between them was heavy, filled with words unsaid, emotions unspoken. The truth of Yumi's words cut deep, but it also sparked something—something Kaori hadn't allowed herself to feel in days. A flicker of understanding. A flicker of hope.

"I'm so scared," Kaori admitted, her voice trembling. "Scared of facing the world without him. Scared that I won't be enough. Scared that I'll never be happy again."

Yumi leaned forward, her gaze unwavering. "You don't have to face it alone, Kaori. You've got people who will help you find your way back. People who love you. You just have to let them in."

Kaori turned away from her, her eyes distant once again. "I don't know if I can. I don't know if I can trust anyone again."

Yumi's voice was gentle, but firm. "That's okay. It'll take time. But you have to give yourself that time. And maybe, just maybe, you'll find that piece of yourself you thought was lost."

Kaori closed her eyes, the weight of those words sinking in. She didn't know how to begin. She didn't know how to heal. But she couldn't stay in this place forever. She couldn't let her grief define her. There had to be something more, something beyond the sorrow.

"I'll try," she whispered. "I'll try to take that step."

Yumi smiled, a small but sincere smile, and squeezed Kaori's hand. "That's all you need to do. One step at a time."

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The next few days weren't easy, but something had shifted inside Kaori. It wasn't a dramatic change. It wasn't a sudden revelation or an instant cure. But each day, she managed to do something small—something that brought her a little closer to who she was before everything fell apart. She took short walks around the block, forced herself to eat at least a little, spent a few moments in the sun, just feeling the warmth on her skin.

One evening, as Kaori sat on the edge of her bed, looking out the window at the setting sun, she found herself thinking of Kaito. Not with anger or bitterness, but with a strange kind of peace. She would always carry him with her, always remember the love they shared. But she was starting to see that it didn't have to be a burden. It didn't have to weigh her down forever.

There was still a long road ahead, a road that would be difficult to walk. But for the first time in what felt like forever, Kaori allowed herself to believe that she could walk it. She could heal. She could find happiness again.

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End of Chapter 87.