Chapter 18: Denial is a Losing Game

Monday – Class 4IR

Rumors at school were like a virus—once they started, they spread fast. And unlike a normal virus, there was no vaccine for this one.

I had spent the entire weekend trying to not think about it, but the moment I walked into class, I knew the rumor hadn't died down. If anything, it had gotten worse.

The moment I sat down, Azri leaned over with a stupid grin. "So… how's your girlfriend?"

I nearly choked on my own breath. "What?!"

Rina smirked from her seat. "Oh, please. The whole school is talking about you two."

I groaned. "Again?"

Azri nodded. "Bro, you don't get it. This isn't just a normal rumor anymore. People are actually betting on when you'll confess."

I stared at him. "Betting?!"

Rina laughed. "Yup. I heard someone from 4T started a whole betting pool. Some people think you'll confess by the end of the month. Others think you'll chicken out forever."

I slumped in my chair. "Oh, great. So now I'm a gambling topic."

Azri shrugged. "Hey, at least you're famous."

I groaned. "I don't want to be famous. I just want to go back to being invisible."

Rina smirked. "Too late for that."

Before I could complain more, the classroom door opened and in walked… her.

Nadirah.

She was talking to a friend, completely unaware of the chaos she had unknowingly caused in my life. She walked to her seat—a few rows behind mine—and sat down gracefully, like some kind of angelic presence.

And of course, because my life was a joke, she glanced up and caught me looking at her.

I panicked and quickly looked away.

Azri saw everything and nearly died laughing. "Bro. You're so obvious."

I glared at him. "I was not looking at her."

Rina smirked. "Yeah, sure. And I'm the Prime Minister."

I sighed, knowing I wasn't winning this battle.

Then Cikgu Zul walked in, and the lesson started—finally giving me an excuse to stop talking about my imaginary love life.

Recess – Cafeteria

I had hoped that the rumors would die down after a few days, but instead, they had mutated into something even worse.

Now, people weren't just whispering about me and Nad.

They were actively watching us.

I felt the stares as I carried my food tray to an empty table. A group of juniors nudged each other and giggled as I passed by. Some of my classmates exchanged knowing looks. Even some teachers seemed to be in on it.

This was getting out of control.

As soon as I sat down, Azri and Rina joined me—because obviously, they had to witness my suffering up close.

"So," Azri started, grinning. "Have you and Nad made it official yet?"

I stabbed my rice with my spoon. "For the last time, there is nothing to make official."

Rina smirked. "That's not what people think."

I groaned. "People think a lot of stupid things."

Azri leaned in. "Okay, serious question."

I sighed. "What?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Do you actually like her?"

I froze.

My brain immediately went into overdrive.

No. Of course not. That's ridiculous. Why would I—?

But the problem was… I didn't have an answer.

Did I like Nad?

I mean, sure, she was amazing. Kind, smart, talented, and—okay, yeah, maybe she was kind of pretty. But that didn't mean I liked her. Right?

Right?

Rina narrowed her eyes. "That's a long silence, Mana."

I snapped back to reality. "I don't like her."

Azri smirked. "Uh-huh. And I'm the King of England."

Rina sighed. "Mana, be honest. If you did like her, would you even admit it?"

I hesitated. "That's a trick question."

She shook her head. "No, it's not."

I groaned. "Why are you guys so invested in this?"

Azri grinned. "Because it's fun."

I sighed, knowing there was no way to win this conversation.

Then, just when I thought things couldn't get worse—

"Hey, Mana."

I looked up and nearly dropped my spoon.

Nadirah was standing right in front of me.

For a second, I forgot how to breathe.

Azri and Rina were way too amused by my reaction.

"H-Hey, Nad," I stammered.

She raised an eyebrow. "Are you okay?"

I forced a laugh. "Yeah! Totally fine! Just… eating."

Rina covered her mouth to hide her laughter.

Nad looked at me curiously before continuing, "Anyway, I wanted to ask—are you coming to drama practice later?"

I blinked. "Drama practice?"

She nodded. "Madame Ju wants us to start preparing for the next competition."

Oh, right. I had almost forgotten. After the Pantun competition, Madame Ju had suggested I join the drama club. Apparently, she thought I had "potential."

I wasn't sure if I agreed, but Nad had also joined, so…

"Yeah," I said quickly. "I'll be there."

She smiled. "Great. See you later."

Then she walked away, completely unaware that she had just made my entire day worse.

Azri immediately burst out laughing.

"Bro, you looked like you saw a ghost."

Rina smirked. "No, he looked like he saw his future wife."

I groaned. "Can we not do this right now?"

Azri wiped a fake tear. "Sorry, bro. This is just too entertaining."

Rina tilted her head. "But honestly, Mana… if you did like her, what would you do about it?"

I sighed. "Nothing. Because it doesn't matter."

Azri raised an eyebrow. "Why not?"

I stared at my tray of food, suddenly not very hungry.

"Because someone like her would never like someone like me."

Rina frowned. "That's a dumb excuse."

Azri nodded. "Yeah, bro. You're literally the only person stopping yourself."

I shook my head. "Let's just drop it."

They exchanged looks but didn't push any further.

But deep down, I knew—denying it wasn't going to work forever.

And that scared me more than anything.

—Mana, Feb 2017