The Breakdown!

Yes! I got handcuffed by my dad, who happened to be a cop. He dragged me into the car and we left the camp premises. We got on the road and both my parents began their scolding, as an only child, I felt like just entering the ground and allowing it swallow me. It got so intense and my dad who was on the wheel forgot he had something going on with him driving us, he put all his attention on me and just when I felt bad and sorry for myself, it became WORSE!

My dad hit a truck and the rest, I found out when I revived back to life at the hospital ward. It felt like a dream, I had bruises all over, but my only concern was that, I was with two people and they were no where to be found. I jumped down from the bed, ran out of the ward, screaming "Mom, Dad, Mom, Dad?", I couldn't find them. Just then, one of the nurses came for me and they took me back to my ward, they told me to lay down on the bed and that I was in so much pain, but I couldn't feel anything. Few minutes later, my mom ran in, with a bandage on her head, she came looking for me, she looked like she had just found something and so tears were rolling down her cheeks uncontrollably. She hugged me so tightly and as I was still trying to catch my breath to understand the moment, I asked, "Mommy, do you know where daddy is? This made her scream and so she hugged me the more. I sensed something was definitely wrong with my dad, but I didn't wanna guess it was what I had in mind. And so she said, "Sonia, daddy said to tell you, that he loves you so very much and that he would be going for a long drive, when he returns, we'll play with him and we'd see the sunset together" she couldn't even say these words properly because she was crying and I was like " long drive? See the sunset when he returns? Doesn't daddy work at the station? What's going on? And so I gathered courage to say, " Is daddy dead, mom?

She took in a deep breath and I just dropped lifeless on the bed. My mom let out a loud shout and the nurses in confusion ran out to call the doctor, who would bring me back to life.

I Couldn't believe it, my Dad is DEAD?

What's gonna become of me? I'm just twelve years old, he promised to be here forever? Why me? Why now?

I and mom got discharged from the hospital and my dad's body got moved to the mortuary. We returned back home and none of us spoke a word to each other, we took weeks to heal, before my mom decided a burial date, since my dad had no relatives or family members around. The day came and a couple of friends with I and my mom got to the burial ground and the only thing I could think of was that one person that made it all happen from scratch, it was just four letters of his name and I could recall how those four letters would be bring so much joy before, but just thinking about it made me feel like stabbing SIJU!

If he hadn't framed me, I wouldn't have threatened him, if he hadn't lied about me trying to kill him, my parents wouldn't have been involved and I definitely wouldn't have experienced the hell of going through an accident and watching my dad being placed in the ground like some seed that would never sprout. Right there in the moment, I screamedddd!!!!!! What the actual FUCK? Did love bring me this far or was it my stupidity and naivety? So, my mom's gonna be a single mother? She's gonna find me a new daddy? But I don't want a new daddy, I want my daddy!! I was panicking . And so I ran to the pit and tried jumping, I couldn't get in because I was held by so many. It dawned on me, I was in my state of BREAKDOWN!

Tons of individuals were consoling me and many gave different hugs, but I couldn't feel anything, it was like my brain had gone numb, I could only see my mom, the surviving relative I had. If she hadn't survived, I would have become an orphan. Oh wow! Tough luck. We returned back home from the burial and my mom decided to prepare something for me to eat, we hadn't eaten all day and it didn't seem like it. She left for the kitchen, and our little cat, Sally, walked up to me and scratched my injury from the accident and it began to bleed. In the moment, I wasn't screaming, but the only thing I remember was how I found the cat dead on the floor, with my hands painted red. My mom walked back into the living room where I had unconsciously murdered our cat and she puked all over out of shock, the food she made laid bare on the floor and there I was, staring like nothing ever happened. The cat died, my dad died, so in the end, we'd all die?

My mom still puking and then.... It seized. She was so scared to walk up to me, because she was so focused on her cooking and in her grief that she didn't see me walk past her to get a knife for the death of our cat. While she wondered if I was still her daughter, she managed to grab hold of me, took the knife out of my hand, and asked me " Sonia baby, please tell me, you didn't kill the cat? She was shaking, literally. I couldn't give her a response and so she asked me three more times, at the last ask, she lost it. She started to cry and wondered what had possessed me.