Four

Yuhan didn't say anything in response; he simply lowered his head, his silence a stark contrast to his earlier teasing. I tried to pull my arm away from his grasp, but he only tightened his grip, his fingers digging into my skin.

"I just wanted you to sleep beside me tonight," he mumbled, his words slightly slurred, his voice laced with a vulnerability that tugged at my heartstrings. "Sorry, I guess I was being too annoying. Wait here, I'll get your cookies, and then I'll drive you home."

Suddenly, it felt like someone had struck me over the head. There I was again, succumbing to his charm, unable to maintain my resolve. I hated how he sounded like a child who had been denied a lollipop, his voice laced with a pleading tone that made me want to give in. I hated seeing him like this, especially when I knew I had the power to make him feel better. I hated, more than anything, his actions and words that seemed to suggest he always wanted me around. Those little gestures, those casual remarks, they fueled a dangerous hope within me, a hope that maybe, just maybe, he reciprocated my feelings. And the last thing I wanted was to give myself more reason to believe that he could ever love me.

I watched him disappear into his room to retrieve my cookies. I quickly descended the stairs, heading towards the kitchen. I grabbed two glasses and a carton of juice from the refrigerator, hoping to offer a peace offering, a way to smooth things over. I hurried back upstairs, relieved that he hadn't emerged from his room yet. I couldn't bring myself to be angry with him any longer, especially after I glimpsed him through his doorway. He appeared to have been crying, rubbing his eyes and sniffling. But that seemed impossible; crying didn't fit Yuhan's usual persona, especially not over a simple argument. Or maybe, I was misinterpreting his actions; perhaps he was just getting a cold. I pushed the thought aside and opened his door. He looked up at me, his eyes slightly red and puffy.

"Sorry, did I take too long? I got something in my eye. I was trying to wash the dirt out in the bathroom, that's why it took a while. Let's go," he said quickly, grabbing his car keys.

"Sorry again," I said, a hint of embarrassment coloring his cheeks. "Where are my cookies?" I asked, my voice regaining its playful sharpness, as I walked directly into his room.

He handed me the cookies without a word. I placed them on the small table at the foot of his bed, alongside the glasses and juice I had brought up. I grabbed the TV remote and started browsing for a good movie, settling down on my stomach at the foot of his bed, ready to enjoy my cookies while watching.

Lying on my stomach didn't cause me any discomfort; my chest wasn't as generously proportioned as those women you see on Facebook, the ones they call 'social climbers,' I think. Especially that woman on Facebook who practically shouts about the size of her chest. Not that I'm a basher, and I'm certainly not envious. I don't need large breasts to get attention. It's enough for me to be noticed by the people I care about.

How did we even get on the topic of breasts, anyway, when I don't have any? And here I am talking like I do, haha.

Yuhan looked visibly surprised by my actions. "I thought you were going home?" he asked, his voice laced with confusion.

"You told me to sleep here. You're such a confusing octopus," I replied, as if we hadn't just had an argument a few moments ago. The shift in my demeanor was swift, like a switch had been flipped. One moment, I was bristling with anger, the next, I was settling in for a movie night, my earlier frustration seemingly forgotten. The truth was, I was tired of fighting, tired of the emotional rollercoaster we seemed to be on. I just wanted to relax, to enjoy his company, to pretend, even for a little while, that everything was alright. Maybe I was fooling myself, but in that moment, I didn't care. I just wanted to be close to him, to feel the warmth of his presence, to savor the fleeting moments of peace and contentment.

It was perfectly fine for me to sleep in Yuhan's room. Tita wouldn't mind either, since we were 'friends,' after all. Although, to be honest, something more than just sleeping occasionally happened when I stayed over, but it was a mutual understanding between us. We both wanted it. It was all about sex, a purely physical connection, nothing more, nothing less.

"Are you not angry anymore?" he asked, a hopeful smile playing on his lips.

I gave him a sharp look. "I didn't say I wasn't angry anymore," I replied, returning to my cookies. I saw Yuhan's smile widen from the corner of my eye. He knew I was alright. He closed the door and sat down beside me on the bed.

I took a small piece of cookie and offered it to him, which he readily accepted. I wasn't sure why I did it; maybe it was a peace offering, a way to bridge the gap between us. I felt him wrap his arms around me from behind as I lay on my stomach. I let him, not bothering to protest. I wasn't going to pretend I didn't enjoy the position we were in. I did. I enjoyed the warmth of his embrace, the feeling of his body close to mine. It was a comfortable familiarity, a sense of ease that came from knowing each other so well, physically at least. The feeling was nice, and I let it happen.

"What are you acting all clingy for?" I asked after a few minutes of him hugging me.

"Nothing, I just realized how much I missed hugging you like this," he replied, his voice soft. "You're always mad at me."

"Because you're annoying."

"I just want your attention, that's why I tease you all the time."

"Well, I don't appreciate the way you're doing it," I said seriously to Yuhan, my voice firm.

"I'm sorry. I'll be good from now on, I promise. Please don't be mad."

"Fine, whatever. Just get off my back, you're heavy," I replied, unsure of how to react. Yuhan's actions and words were making me want to believe that he might like me as more than a friend. But I knew that would be the biggest mistake I could make—to assume.

When you assume, you risk a lot. You see the situation only from your perspective, which doesn't work in matters of the heart. Love is simply too complicated; making assumptions is the last thing you should do. No matter how sweet, kind, thoughtful, or affectionate someone is to you, you can't conclude that they have romantic feelings for you.