Chapter 19: First Taste of Puberty

It's strange to say that every time I kissed Shasha intimately, Han Xiaoxue's figure would always appear in my mind inexplicably. However, I dared not tell Zhang Shasha about this idea. Zhang Shasha seemed to be intoxicated by my daily kisses. She would always hold my waist tightly, gently press her breasts against my chest, close her eyes slightly, and look like she was enjoying it. Gradually, my hands began to become restless, slowly moving up from the original waist position, gently rubbing her breasts through her clothes. Like most girls, she would resist at first, but after a while, she obeyed my actions. With a hint of shyness and desire, I whispered to her: "Can I put my hand in?" She looked at me firmly and responded decisively: "Don't even think about it."

It was late autumn at that time, and it was already November. The weather turned cooler. Everyone wore long-sleeved school uniforms and autumn clothes, and the students who were afraid of cold even put on sweaters. At that time, there was no convenient thermal underwear like today. People who were afraid of cold could only wear two autumn clothes and two sweaters to resist the cold. There was a classmate from Heilongjiang who came to study in Mohe. He only wore a thin sweater and a school uniform throughout the winter. Even in the coldest time, he just wore a scarf and a hat. I have to say that northerners are really cold-resistant.

The increase in clothing made it more difficult for me to get closer. Every time I tried to force my hand into her pants and touch her buttocks, I had to go through layers of clothing, which greatly affected my movement speed, and naturally I was always stopped by Zhang Shasha mercilessly. Until one weekend, we finished roller skating together, and I sent her home to the door. That day she was wearing a pair of bib jeans. As everyone knows, bib jeans have no belt and are loose at the waist. I started kissing her as usual, and at the same time, my hands moved quickly. At that moment, my hand successfully reached into her pants and touched her buttocks. At that moment, for me, an 18-year-old, it was a major leap in my life and my entire adolescence, just like the milestone significance of Shenzhou V for China's space program.

Zhang Shasha obviously regretted wearing the jeans with suspenders. She whispered to me, "Take your hands out quickly, they are too cold." I said shamelessly with a hint of cunning, "It's already cold, let your body temperature warm me up."

Her tone became gentler: "Is it warmer now? You can let me go, you've been holding me for a long time, it will be bad if someone comes later." I thought to myself that what she said was indeed reasonable, and it was not a good thing to hold me like this all the time, so I slowly let go of my hands.

I looked at Shasha shyly, and she smiled in the same embarrassed way. She scolded me, "You are such a pervert."

She looked at me and said nothing more, just whispered, "Well, see you at school the day after tomorrow. Don't do this again." In fact, since then, we often run to the doorway downstairs of her house when we go home from school, and she will help me relieve the impulse of adolescence.

Nowadays, we can often see some secretly photographed student couples doing things similar to what Zhang Shasha and I did at that time on the Internet. Everyone criticizes these phenomena on the Internet, saying that young people nowadays are hopeless, have learned bad things, become casually indulgent, and girls are shameless, and their parents' upbringing is in vain. But in fact, this is just because of the popularity of the Internet, which has infinitely magnified an originally ordinary adolescent phenomenon and made the reaction of the whole society exaggerated. What I want to say is, who has not been ignorant and impulsive during adolescence? Which young person has not done stupid things and made mistakes? As for those teenagers who claim that they have never done stupid things, I can only say that it is not that they don't want to, but that they don't have the right opportunity.

Zhang Shasha and I were immersed in sweet and happy days, which lasted until the end of 1998. During that period, my attitude towards the little gangster girl became obviously colder. Even in our daily conversations, the topic always revolved around Zhang Shasha. The little gangster girl's attitude towards me also changed a lot. Her temper became more and more irritable. We quarreled more and more frequently. I even had the idea of ​​changing my deskmate. The little gangster girl would often nag me endlessly because of trivial matters. I really couldn't stand it. Every time I would respond to her with cold words: "Shasha is much better than you. You should learn more from your sisters. Look at Shasha. She is also a gangster, but she is not nagging at all."

Finally, I made the little gangster girl cry once. That was the first time I saw her cry. It was an afternoon self-study class. I saw that the teacher was not there, so I lay on the table to take a nap. Maybe I took up a lot of space, and my arms were stretched on the little gangster girl's table. Seeing this, the little girl kicked me hard, which woke me up from my sleep. I looked at the obvious footprints on my legs, and I was very irritable when I woke up. I was furious and picked up a book and threw it at her, cursing: "What's wrong with you? I've been giving in to you all day, and you're not done yet!" At that time, the whole class was attracted by the sudden movement and turned to look at us. The little girl was obviously frightened by my behavior. Guo Qiang sat in the distance and said loudly: "What's wrong with you two?" I didn't respond, waiting for the little girl to fight back. However, the little girl didn't make a fuss as usual, but quietly picked up the book on the ground.

I realized that my behavior was a bit excessive, and I felt a little guilty, so I said to her, "I'm sorry, I just didn't wake up, don't take it personally, or you can throw me, punch me, or kick me to vent your anger?" I looked at the little girl, and saw that she was staring at the desk with tears falling. The little girl was crying! She had big eyes to begin with, and the tears she was crying at this moment were particularly obvious. I panicked instantly and said anxiously: "Don't cry, what happened? I really didn't wake up just now." Wang Dong heard what I said, turned around and said to me: "Huang Zhong, you went too far this time. Why did you make Sun Yao cry? You two are good friends after all, and you are classmates. You have been sitting at the same table for a year. How can you just hit her?" Yang Fang also turned around and accused me: "You are really something. How can you hit a girl? What a shame." Since the four of us have been sitting together for nearly a year and have a good relationship in the class, Wang Dong and Yang Fang turned around and blamed me.

The little girl cried more and more, and she lay directly on the table. No matter how I comforted her, it was useless. Wang Dong and Yang Fang kept blaming me. The little girl lay on the table and didn't raise her head until school was over. I didn't want to go home after school, so I sat in the classroom waiting for the little girl to raise her head. About half an hour after school was over, Zhang Shasha came to our classroom to find me. She walked in and asked, "What's going on? What happened to Yaoyao?" I made up a random excuse and said, "It seems that she has her period today. She has a severe stomachache and it hurts so much that she cries. I am worried about her, so I didn't leave." Zhang Shasha lowered her head and looked at the little girl from under the table, and asked with concern, "Why is it so painful? Do you need me to accompany you to the hospital?" The little girl finally raised her head and said, "It's okay. I'll be fine after sitting for a while. You two go first." I looked at the little girl and wanted to say something. After hesitating for a moment, I finally said nothing. I picked up my schoolbag and walked out of the classroom with Zhang Shasha. Before leaving the classroom, I looked back at the little girl and saw that she was wiping her tears with paper. I thought to myself: I really got into trouble this time. However, girls are girls after all. No matter how they hang out outside, they will still cry when they are wronged. And this time, they seem to cry more sadly than when they watched "Titanic". When we walked out of the school gate, we saw the gangsters gathered at the school gate because we left late this time. Among the gangsters, I saw Han Xiaoxue at a glance. I haven't seen her for a long time. In fact, her face often appears in my mind, because every time I have close contact with Zhang Shasha, I can't help but think of the scene of peeping at her changing clothes at the beach.

Since we saw it, Zhang Shasha and I walked over to say hello to her. I said, "Long time no see, where's Cao Zhi? Why can't I see him?" Han Xiaoxue still looked at me with those seductive eyes, and said with a smile, "Oh, handsome boy, you haven't forgotten me, your sister. You feel very happy to be with our Sasha every day, right?" I smiled and replied, "It's OK, very good." Han Xiaoxue laughed and said, "Cao Zhi and I broke up a long time ago. You only have your Sasha in your eyes, so why would you pay attention to us poor people." I asked curiously, "Are you heartbroken? It's strange that our school belle would also be heartbroken." Han Xiaoxue said, "I'm waiting for Yaoyao. Where is she? Why hasn't she come out yet?" Sasha said on the side, "Yaoyao has a stomachache during her period. It seems to be in severe pain. I guess she will come out soon."