Merlin, Pranks, and Slytherin’s Victory Parade

The moment Quirrell got up, Voldemort, in his ghostly form, screeched, "Quirrell, trap them!"

Quirrell raised his wand, and massive firewalls erupted, blocking all exits and it divided Harry and the Trio.

Ron coughed. "Hot! HOT! Couldn't he just lock the door like a normal villain?!"

MAYA: Master, standard villain protocols dictate excessive dramatics. Expect unnecessary monologues.

Raja nodded sagely. "Yup. It's in the rulebook. Right after 'Evil Laughter 101.'"

Voldemort, ignoring them, slithered, "Harry, join me. I can bring your parents back."

Harry took a deep breath. "Never!"

Raja clapped. "Classic hero response. Well done."

Voldemort scowled. "Silence, you pest."

Voldemort ordered Quirrell to make Harry look into the Mirror of Erised. The reflection showed Harry with his parents. Voldemort hissed, "See? I can give you what you desire most. Just hand over the Stone."

Harry clenched his fists. "You're lying."

Raja leaned in. "Technically, he's stretching the truth. There's a difference."

Raja nudged Hermione. "If this mirror shows our true desires, I'd probably see myself ruling Hogwarts with a pet dragon."

Voldemort snapped, "Do you ever shut up?!"

"Nope. It's my special skill."

Harry reached into his pocket and— surprise!—the Philosopher's Stone was there.

Ron blinked. "Wait, what? Where did that even come from?"

Raja grinned. "Magic" and performed a Wind Spell removed the fire blockade and with a flick of the wand he grab Harry by telekinesis and pull him towards the Trio.

Quirrell fired a barrage of spells. Raja flicked his wand, countering them lazily, yawning in between.

Hermione, Harry and Ron joined in, launching Expelliarmus and Stupefy while Raja casually cast his most infamous spell—

"Lubricus Solem!"

Quirrell's feet slipped like he was on a wet oiled floor. He flailed dramatically, spun three times, and landed face-first on the stone floor.

Raja didn't stop there. With a quick Flickatus Wandus, he transfigured a bench into chains and tied Quirrell into a suspended, upside-down, BDSM-style hanging position.

The trio gawked in horror.

"Raja! What the—?!" Hermione shrieked.

Ron covered his eyes. "WHY? WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE THAT?"

Raja shrugged. "Creative problem-solving."

MAYA: Master, you have deeply disturbed your teammates.

The 'Holy' Experiment Begins

Raja got a brilliant evil Idea and begins to remember and channelizes a Top Indian Telugu Pastor (check YouTube for Info).

Raja, grinning like an unhinged pastor, cracked his knuckles. "Time for an exorcism!"

Harry frowned. "A what now?"

Raja grabbed Harry's hand. "Touch him, and have faith." And started recite Modified Bible verses.

Harry, somehow convinced by Raja's insane confidence, touched Quirrell's hand.

SIZZLE!

Quirrell screeched in pain and smoke erupted from his skin.

Raja, meanwhile, continued reciting… Bible verses.

Sort of.

"Merlin is my shepherd; I shall not want! He leadeth me to righteous wand movements! Expelliarmus be my shield!"

The Trio stared and believed in Raja, then joined in.

Ron muttered, "Merlin save us all."

Hermione sceptic first but seeing burning Quirrell believed in Raja and folded her hands and started pray.

Quirrell screamed as his body started disintegrating into dust.

Voldemort shrieked, "STOP THEM, FOOL!"

Raja serious Pastor face. "Harry, face-touch time."

Harry slapped his palm onto Quirrell's forehead and started to recite the verses Raja saying, causing instant combustion.

Quirrell collapsed into nothing but ash.

The dust swirled, forming Voldemort's enraged face.

"YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THE LAST OF ME!" Voldemort's ghost screamed before rushing at Harry.

Harry collapsed, unconscious.

Meanwhile, Raja, instead of panicking, ordered MAYA to scan the Philosopher's Stone.

MAYA: Processing… Alchemy formula detected. Blueprint stored.

Raja smirked. "Excellent."

Ron gasped. "HARRY!"

Hermione sighed. "Of course he faints now."

Harry woke up in the hospital wing, surrounded by candy and cards.

Dumbledore arrived, looking far too cheerful for someone who nearly lost a student.

"Ah, Harry. The entire school knows about your adventure—despite us trying to keep it quiet."

Harry groaned. "But Raja's exorcism actually worked, right?"

Dumbledore laughed.

"Oh no, dear boy. That was just Raja messing with you."

The Trio froze.

Ron seethed. "YOU MEAN—"

Hermione groaned. "I should've known."

Raja grinned. "You believed it though, didn't you?"

Harry muttered, "I feel betrayed."

At the Great Hall, Dumbledore announced the final House Cup scores.

"Slytherin… wins!"

Slytherins cheered. Malfoy smirked. Ron turned green.

Then Dumbledore added:

150 points to the Trio for courage.100 points to Raja for 'unmatched ingenuity and… creative problem-solving.'10 points to Neville, because why not?

With the extra points, Gryffindor snagged second place, but Slytherin kept the lead. Snape looked ready to combust.

Raja gave him finger guns.

Snape pinched his nose.

"I hate this child." and imagining the future of Slytherin in Raja's Hand. 

At Hogsmeade Station, Harry received a photo album from Hagrid.

"It's got pictures of your parents, lad," Hagrid sniffed.

Harry, touched, thanked him.

Then Raja slung an arm around Harry.

"Don't worry about Dudley. I'll send him a gift."

Harry gulped. "I'm afraid to ask."

MAYA: Master, the cursed singing toad will arrive at the Dursleys' in three days.

Raja smirked. "It only sings in Banshee Screams."

Ron whistled. "You're evil."

"Strategically mischievous."

As the train pulled away, Harry smiled. Maybe Hogwarts wasn't really home… but it sure felt like one.

Raja grinned. "See you next year, Potter. I expect chaos."

To Be Continued…