Karmhostige

Xu's trembling fingers traced the Penglai's weathered rail, salt-crusted eyes glistening. "When shall this old ticket board this rotten ark again?" The scholar's whisper dissolved into the howling gale, his tears indistinguishable from sea spray.

Guð's defiance hung in the air like blood mist. The sea folk's ranks rippled—a shockwave passing through armored crustacean infantry and shark-mounted knights alike. Even the stormcaller crab mages paused their lightning-summoning dance to gawk.

"Declare your lineage, land-worms!" Golden Prince Ximirian's roar carried the weight of tidal fury. His trident struck the chariot's coral floor, sending prismatic shards cascading into the roiling sea.

Liu spat with sniper precision. The globule arced through tempest winds to splatter across the prince's gilded visor. "Li Cha Zhenhan Liu!" he bellowed through cupped hands. "Dragon-taming priest! Captain of eastern wanderers! Humbly greets Your Fishiness!"

"My sister—" The prince's scaled gauntlets crumpled his shield's embossed seahorse emblem. "—the jewel of seven seas! Return her or face Neptune's wrath!"

"Kill me and your precious blossom withers!" Liu dug a finger deep into his cavernous nostril. "My soul hymn could reduce her to crispy calamari before your crabs blink."

The prince's chariot lurched as sea dragons snapped their barnacled chains. "Name your price, swine!"

"We seek only..." Liu's voice dropped to honeyed tones, "...safe passage home to Danube Steppes." His improvised bullhorn quivered with mock sincerity.

"Never!" The trident's prongs sparked against storm-charged air. "Surrender her now or—"

"Or what?" Liu's street-rat grin returned. "Fry your sister? I've got nothing to lose!"

Ximirian's chariot carved frenzied circles. "She's replaceable! Our royal womb births pearls monthly!"

Liu's jaw swung like a broken cargo net. This briny bastard's crazier than me!

"By War God Kampas' mangy beard!" Liu pressed palms together in mock prayer. "Return your sister untouched upon reaching shore! See our prow's crocodile emblem? Honor's our middle name!"

As the prince conferred with tentacled advisors, Liu nudged Guð. "Why's fish-boy got legs? Thought merfolk had tails?"

"Marriage transforms us." The panda's whisper carried decades of sailor lore. "Land legs for sea princes, but..." He tapped his throat. "...silence ashore."

"Fascinating." Liu's eyes gleamed with fresh mischief.

After eternity measured in lightning strikes, Ximirian thundered: "We demand hostage! Proof against your Beamon treachery!"

"Hostage?" Liu's grin split his face. "How's this rotten peach?" He dragged Xu from the tortoiseshell, fingers darting to dislocate the scholar's jaw with bone-cracking precision.

"My lord!" Guð surged forward as Xu's muffled screams bubbled through seawater. "Let me—"

"Stand down!" Liu's roar froze the crew. "I command here!" His pinky finger emerged from Xu's hair with two jade rings glittering like stolen stars.

"Behold!" Liu hoisted the gagging scholar overhead. "Our master alchemist! Trade him for your princess!"

The prince's lieutenant—a Banilux warrior swathed in kelp bandages—bellowed recognition: "That's the golem-summoning devil!"

Xu's face turned corpse-gray as realization struck.

"Silence, failure!" The prince backhanded his officer before beaming at Liu. "Most satisfactory exchange!"

As Liu hurled Xu seaward, the scholar's trajectory traced a perfect parabola. Saltwater geysers erupted where the human missile impacted, drenching the golden prince in briny humiliation.

"Whoopsie." Liu's smirk could've powered three merchant fleets. "Tides must be rough today."