Chapter 5: Regrets

(Natsuha pov)

These moments, I've been thinking about the decisions I made and the things I regret.

Ever since we broke up. I cut all my ties with Oga-kun and haven't seen him recently. Then I heard he was dropping out of school. I also heard the school was going to expel him anyway despite having to repeat a grade. He's older than me, even far older than Yuuta, but he has zero responsibilities.

But why did I do those horrible things to him? I could have avoided it in the first place, but I chose to play with fire.

When Yuuta learned the truth, he ended our relationship smoothly. He didn't show his anger nor frustration or maybe neither of it. He just ended it, maturely.

I know that he loves his family and cares for my mom too. We've been close since we were little, and he always puts them first as priorities. Yuuta seems scared that they will find out what I did, so it's better to hide it from them. That's why, as long I kept this secret, Yuuta won't hate me.

And as I expected, Yuuta was growing more distant from me. He never said my name anymore and instead chose to speak in a formal tone. However, I see him becoming happier, which makes my heart shatter even more.

"S-Shinomiya-san! Please go out with me."

Behind the school, there's a guy in front of me who put this letter in my locker.

"Sorry, I just broke up, and I don't want a new relationship anytime soon. Please understand it. I'm sorry."

I said, then walked off. But then I heard people talking in front of me, so I hid somewhere and peeked at them.

There's a tall man with black hair that I know really well and a girl who is one of the popular girls in school.

Yuuta got another confession again.

"Ahaha. Thank you, I appreciate this. But, I couldn't handle any relationship now, so sorry."

"Co-Could you please consider it again?"

She's cute, but please just reject her, Yuuta.

"Sorry, we could just be friends."

The girl seems about to cry.

"Is it because you want to date your ex again?"

I tremble.

"You mean Shinomiya...?"

My heart skips a beat.

Just tell her. It's alright, I don't mind it. Please! I also want to know your thoughts about me.

"... not really."

"Ah, I'm sorry! Then, can I become close to you like her?"

"Let's become friend."

"It's settled then! I know a good place nearby. Are you okay with karaoke?"

Why is she so insistent?

"I'm sorry, but next time. I've got something to do now."

"Ah, I'm sorry to bother you. I'm off then!"

The girl rushes off with her ears blushing red. It was then, he glance back.

"...who?"

Ah! I was found out. "It-it's me, Yuuta."

"Oh. Are you the same?"

"Yeah..."

"Poor guy."

He said, then walked away. I followed him and kept some distance. I looked down since I was shy, and guilt still weighed on my heart.

I peeked from behind. I noticed his cheeks were now somehow hollower than before, but it looked like he was in fit condition. I also noticed he was slightly taller. Did he start working out? And when the wind passed by, I could smell his pleasant scent. With all his recent grade improvements and these changes, I understood that girl's feelings from before and why Yuuta had become more popular than he used to be.

Yuuta is more mature now and growing better as a person and as a man. I can't handle him like before, and it makes me nervous like I have a crush on him.

"Yu-Yuuta. Do you want to go to the cafe with m—"

"Hello? I'm on my way to the gate. Yes. Thank you."

Before I could said it. He got another call like before.

"I am sorry. Did you say something before?"

"It's... nothing."

"I see." He said shortly, his gaze might look forward, but he seemed to be looking beyond.

We don't see each other outside of school that often. When we pass each other, I see him, and he just says hi and goes somewhere. I don't know, but he's so busy now.

When we arrived at the school gate, a woman in a business suit seems waiting for Yuuta. After that. They talked, and I could see another side of Yuuta; he seemed to be talking like an adult.

"I didn't know that you were still a student."

The woman said, and Yuuta laughed.

"They say you should never tell your next move. How is your day, Iida-san?"

"I'm good, thanks! Haha~ I thought you were a teacher before. Ara~ then this pretty girl must be the girlfriend." the woman looked at me and I just looked away shyly.

"My class mate, Shinomiya Natsuha. Natsuha, this is Iida Ayano," Yuuta said. The woman reached out her hand to me.

"Iida Ayano, it's nice to meet you, young lady."

"Yes, me too. Shinomiya Natsuha. Nice to meet you."

The woman tilted her head, "Sigh~ a pair of beautiful young people. It's such a waste if you didn't date this handsome guy, ya know?"

"Ah, well, I-I—"

I'm so happy that I stuttered.

"Hey, isn't that Yamano-san?"

"Where?"

"But why is he with her? Didn't they already break up?"

Both Ayano-san and I went silent when we heard a bunch of girls talking in the distance.

"A-Ah, I'm so sorry. I didn't know that you both..." Ayano said with shame.

"N-No, it's alright."

Just now. Why this is felt so hurt?

Yuuta cleared his throat. "Well, shall we go then?"

"Ahem! Of course, sensei. Please hop in. I've already reserved the best place for this. Well then, Shinomiya-san, it's nice to meet you again."

"Ah, yes..."

Wait, sensei? What did that mean?

"Call me by my name, please. That nice car by—Ah, Shinomiya. I'm sorry, but I'll leave you here."

Yuuta glanced back at me after ignoring me for a while.

"Ah, don't worry about me."

"I'm going then. Please be careful on your way home."

"Yes, I was about to head home too. It's okay, Yuuta. See you later."

He nodded, "Take care."

He went inside the car and they drove off somewhere. It hurts. It hurts so much like my stomach is twisted. I hate it. I want to know where he went with that woman, and what he's going to do. but who am I to him? It hurts! I wanna die. I wanna die! Even though he was seems nice to me, I felt so empty. And I can feel the distance between us growing.