Chapter 7: "You Expect Me to Live Like This!?"
I was exhausted.
After surviving a royal interrogation, narrowly avoiding being labeled an enemy of the state, and somehow getting assigned as the guardian of an unstoppable force of destruction, I just wanted to lie down and die.
But, of course—Velzaria wouldn't let me die.
And now, as we left the palace, I had one last shred of hope:
Maybe, just maybe, I could return to my mansion and figure out how to undo all of this.
Then—
"Hold it, Eldric."
I froze.
That voice.
That dangerous, tired voice.
I slowly turned my head.
Standing behind me, arms firmly crossed, her expression a mixture of barely contained frustration and resignation—
Was Reina Astralis.
The swordswoman of the Silver Valkyries.
And next to her?
Seraphina Astralis.
Leader of the Silver Valkyries and the strongest mage in the kingdom.
I gulped.
"…Oh no."
---
Reina pointed at me.
"You. Sit. Now."
I looked around.
"We're in a public square! There are no chairs!"
"THEN SIT ON THE FLOOR!"
I immediately sat down.
---
Seraphina, standing calmly beside Reina, clicked her pen.
"Subject Eldric immediately submits under high-pressure command scenarios. Predicting further compliance."
She clicked her pen again.
"Fascinating."
I glared at her.
"ARE YOU JUST DOCUMENTING ME LIKE A LAB RAT!?"
She blinked.
"Yes."
I wanted to scream.
---
Reina rubbed her temples.
"Alright. Here's the deal, Eldric."
She gestured to Seraphina.
"The King has decided that the Silver Valkyries—specifically, Seraphina's party—will be responsible for your 'observation.'"
I blinked.
Processing.
Processing.
Then—
"WAIT, WHAT!?"
---
Garret, still somehow here, burst out laughing.
"Oh, this just keeps getting better."
I snapped my head toward Reina.
"WHY THE VALKYRIES!?"
Reina's eye twitched.
"TRUST ME! I FOUGHT IT!"
She pointed at Seraphina, looking absolutely done.
"I argued for hours that she spends too much time around you already!"
Seraphina nodded calmly.
"That is accurate."
Reina gritted her teeth.
"And yet, the King's Council thinks it's best for a high-ranking adventurer team to monitor the situation closely."
I clutched my head in agony.
"THERE ARE OTHER HIGH-RANKING TEAMS!"
Seraphina blinked.
"But they are not the Silver Valkyries."
I felt my soul leave my body.
---
Velzaria, standing too elegantly next to me, finally spoke.
"A reasonable decision," she murmured.
I snapped my head toward her.
"NO, IT'S NOT!"
Velzaria tilted her head slightly.
"You are familiar with them already."
Seraphina nodded.
"Correct."
Reina groaned.
"And unfortunately, we're the only ones who understand how to handle your stupidity."
I threw my hands up.
"YOU CALL THIS HANDLING!?"
Reina pointed at Seraphina.
"She's literally been writing a book on you!"
Seraphina calmly flipped a page.
"Subject Eldric reacts poorly to the concept of long-term observation. Predicting further outbursts."
She clicked her pen.
"Fascinating."
I let out a strangled scream.
---
Garret, still watching with glee, grinned.
"So, let me get this straight."
He pointed at me.
"You're a national-level security risk."
Then at Velzaria.
"You have a mysterious, ultra-powerful noblewoman living in your house."
Then at Seraphina.
"And now you're being studied daily by the kingdom's strongest mage and her all-female elite squad."
He grinned even wider.
"Congrats, buddy. You're basically an exotic pet."
I immediately lunged at him.
"I AM NOT A PET!"
Garret dodged, still laughing.
I wanted to throw him into the nearest river.
---
Velzaria sighed lightly.
"This is irrelevant," she murmured.
I whipped my head toward her.
"HOW IS THIS IRRELEVANT!?"
She looked at me calmly.
"It does not change the outcome."
I felt my stomach drop.
"...What do you mean?"
She smiled faintly.
"You are still mine."
I choked on air.
"I AM NOT—"
---
Seraphina flipped another page.
"Subject Eldric continues to resist reality. Predicting continued suffering."
She clicked her pen.
"Fascinating."
I fell to my knees.
"This is a nightmare."
Reina rubbed her temples again.
"Welcome to my world," she muttered.
Garret grinned.
"Oh, buddy."
He patted my shoulder.
"This is just the beginning."
I wanted to cry.
---
I had lost.
There was no way out.
I was officially under "observation," and the Silver Valkyries—Seraphina's all-female elite squad—were in charge of it.
Which meant…
I was basically under house arrest.
And somehow, that wasn't even the worst part.
---
"Alright," I said, rubbing my temples. "Let's just… go over this one more time."
I pointed at Seraphina.
"You and your party will be spying on me—"
"Observing," she corrected.
"SPYING."
She nodded.
"Spying."
I felt my soul leave my body.
---
Reina crossed her arms, clearly fed up.
"Look, just accept it already."
I turned to her, exasperated.
"WHY ARE YOU OKAY WITH THIS!?"
She let out a long, tired sigh.
"Because, Eldric, I gave up on logic the moment you entered my life."
I felt personally attacked.
---
Velzaria, who had been silent until now, smiled slightly.
"This arrangement is satisfactory."
I whipped my head toward her.
"OF COURSE IT'S SATISFACTORY FOR YOU!"
She nodded.
"Naturally."
I threw my arms up in defeat.
"THIS IS INSANE!"
---
Seraphina flipped a page in her notebook.
"Subject Eldric continues to resist his new reality. Predicting prolonged adaptation period."
She clicked her pen.
"Fascinating."
I stomped my foot.
"CAN YOU STOP FINDING MY SUFFERING INTERESTING!?"
She blinked.
"No."
I wanted to cry.
---
Garret, still somehow here, grinned.
"Well, on the bright side, at least you get a full-time babysitter."
I turned to him slowly.
"Garret."
"Yeah?"
"Shut. Up."
He snickered.
"No can do, buddy."
I wanted to throw him into a well.
---
Reina rubbed her temples again.
"Okay, let's get the rules straight."
She pointed at me.
"You are not allowed to leave the city without clearance."
I gasped.
"WHAT!? THAT'S UNFAIR!"
Reina ignored me.
"You must check in with the guild at least once a day."
I clutched my chest.
"THAT'S JUST CRUEL!"
Reina rolled her eyes.
"And finally—you will have a designated observer with you at all times."
I froze.
My blood ran cold.
"…All times?"
Reina nodded.
"All. Times."
I felt faint.
---
Seraphina adjusted her notebook.
"Observation shifts will rotate between the Silver Valkyries," she explained. "To ensure proper documentation and security."
I blinked rapidly.
"SECURITY!? WHO IS A THREAT TO ME!?"
Velzaria tilted her head.
"You misunderstand."
She smiled faintly.
"The security is to ensure that you do not become a threat."
I choked on air.
"WHAT!?"
---
Seraphina flipped a page.
"Subject Eldric is struggling with self-awareness regarding his increasing significance. Predicting further distress."
She clicked her pen.
"Fascinating."
I pointed at her aggressively.
"SERAPHINA. STOP."
She blinked.
"Understood."
And then kept writing.
I screamed internally.
---
Velzaria walked toward me, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder.
"You will adapt," she said smoothly.
I stared at her, horrified.
"…That sounds like a threat."
She smiled pleasantly.
"It is not."
I did not believe her.
---
Reina pinched the bridge of her nose.
"Okay, enough talking."
She looked at Seraphina.
"Who's taking the first shift?"
Seraphina flipped through her notebook.
Then, without hesitation, she said:
"I will."
---
I froze.
Reina froze.
Garret whistled.
"Oooh, this just got interesting."
Reina turned to Seraphina.
"…Are you sure?"
Seraphina nodded.
"Naturally. I have the most comprehensive notes on him."
I choked on air.
"WHY DOES THAT SOUND WORSE THAN IT SHOULD!?"
---
Velzaria smirked slightly.
"A logical decision."
Seraphina nodded.
"I agree."
Reina looked like she was contemplating stabbing something.
Then she sighed.
"Fine. Seraphina takes the first shift."
She turned back to me.
"Good luck, Eldric."
I swallowed hard.
"…What do you mean by that?"
She patted my shoulder.
"You'll find out."
Then she walked away.
I watched her go.
And felt fear settle deep in my bones.
---
Seraphina adjusted her notebook.
"Let us begin."
I gulped.
"…Begin what?"
She smiled faintly.
"Everything."
I felt my soul leave my body.
---
I had never felt fear like this before.
Not when I was thrown out of every adventuring party.
Not when I was mocked as the lowest-ranked adventurer in the guild.
Not even when I fell into an uncharted dungeon and nearly died.
No.
This—this was true fear.
Seraphina stood beside me, notebook in hand, her golden eyes filled with curiosity.
"Shall we begin?" she asked, voice completely neutral.
I gulped.
"…Begin what?"
She clicked her pen.
"Everything."
---
I took a step back.
"Wait. WAIT. You can't just start—whatever this is—right now!"
Seraphina tilted her head slightly.
"Why not?"
"BECAUSE—BECAUSE I NEED TIME TO PROCESS!"
She calmly flipped a page.
"Subject Eldric exhibits avoidance behavior when confronted with structured observation. Predicting further resistance."
She clicked her pen again.
"Fascinating."
I wanted to scream.
---
Velzaria, standing gracefully nearby, smiled faintly.
"It is only natural to document one's fated partner," she murmured.
I whipped around to her.
"NO, IT'S NOT!"
She nodded.
"It is."
"IT IS NOT!"
Seraphina calmly jotted something down.
"Subject Eldric struggles with relationship classifications. Predicting continued denial."
I glared at her.
"SERAPHINA. STOP."
She blinked.
"No."
I clutched my head.
This was a nightmare.
---
Reina sighed heavily.
"Alright, Eldric, here's the deal."
She crossed her arms, looking deeply exhausted.
"You just became one of the most watched people in the kingdom. You don't get to say 'no' to this."
I froze.
"But—"
"No buts," she snapped. "We have orders. This is happening."
I felt all my energy drain.
"…This isn't fair."
Reina shrugged.
"Neither is life."
I fell to my knees.
---
Seraphina stepped forward, flipping through her notebook.
"Let's begin with basic routines."
I slowly lifted my head.
"…What?"
She nodded.
"I will document your daily habits and behaviors."
I blinked rapidly.
"WHY!?"
She tilted her head.
"Because it is important."
I stared at her.
"Important for WHAT!?"
She calmly wrote something down.
"Subject Eldric questions the significance of self-improvement documentation. Predicting further confusion."
She clicked her pen.
"Fascinating."
I threw up my hands.
"THIS ISN'T A RESEARCH STUDY!"
---
Velzaria, watching calmly, smirked slightly.
"Perhaps this will be useful in ensuring his continued success."
I gasped.
"YOU'RE ENCOURAGING HER!?"
Velzaria nodded gracefully.
"Naturally."
I collapsed back onto the ground.
---
Reina pinched the bridge of her nose.
"Okay, enough talking."
She looked at Seraphina.
"What exactly are you observing today?"
Seraphina flipped another page.
"Today's focus will be…"
She paused.
Then, looking at me directly, she said:
"Your eating habits."
I stared at her.
"…My what?"
---
Velzaria hummed softly.
"An excellent choice."
I felt the blood drain from my face.
"NO IT'S NOT!"
Seraphina tapped her notebook.
"Data collection must begin with the fundamentals."
I pointed at Reina.
"STOP HER!"
Reina held up her hands.
"This is your life now, Eldric."
I felt faint.
---
Seraphina closed her notebook.
"Let us go to the dining hall."
I froze.
"…You're coming with me?"
She blinked.
"Naturally."
Velzaria smiled faintly.
"I shall join as well."
I felt my stomach drop.
---
Seraphina gestured toward the exit.
"Lead the way."
I felt trapped.
I had no escape.
Slowly—very slowly—I started walking toward the mansion.
Seraphina followed, pen in hand.
Velzaria walked beside her, looking completely satisfied.
Reina, walking behind, muttered, "I regret my life choices."
I wanted to cry.
---
I dragged my feet as I walked toward the mansion, completely defeated.
Behind me, Seraphina followed, clicking her pen.
Velzaria walked gracefully beside her, looking far too pleased with herself.
Reina, bringing up the rear, muttered, "I regret everything."
I wanted to cry.
---
By the time we reached the mansion's entrance, I was still processing everything.
I was under constant observation.
I was being studied like a rare animal.
And now, I was about to be analyzed while eating breakfast.
I took a deep breath.
Then, as I placed my hand on the door—
"Wait."
I froze.
Velzaria had spoken.
I turned to her, already dreading what was coming.
"What now?" I groaned.
She smiled faintly.
"We must begin acting more appropriately as husband and wife."
---
I stared blankly.
Processing.
Processing.
Then—
"WE MUST WHAT!?"
---
Seraphina calmly flipped a page.
"Subject Eldric is struggling with sudden marital role integration. Predicting further resistance."
She clicked her pen.
"Fascinating."
I snapped toward Reina, pleading.
"STOP THIS!"
Reina held up her hands.
"Eldric, it's been one day. ONE. SINGLE. DAY. And somehow, you have managed to cause a kingdom-wide incident, get engaged, and become a national-level security risk."
I felt my soul leave my body.
---
Velzaria took a graceful step closer, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder.
"We are already living together," she said smoothly. "We should adjust our behavior accordingly."
I stiffened.
"T-That's not necessary!"
She smiled pleasantly.
"It is."
I felt the walls closing in.
---
Seraphina wrote something down.
"Subject Eldric's survival instincts activate when confronted with deepening relational dynamics. Predicting prolonged discomfort."
She clicked her pen.
"Fascinating."
I whipped around.
"CAN YOU STOP ANALYZING MY BREAKDOWN!?"
She blinked.
"No."
I screamed internally.
---
Velzaria took another step closer, forcing me to lean back slightly.
"You need not be afraid," she said smoothly.
I gulped.
"I—I am NOT afraid!"
Seraphina tapped her pen thoughtfully.
"Subject Eldric exhibits denial when confronted with deep emotional intimacy. Predicting further avoidance behavior."
I felt like I was suffocating.
---
Reina sighed heavily.
"Okay, enough. Let's just eat."
I grabbed onto that lifeline immediately.
"YES! BREAKFAST! FOOD! LET'S GO INSIDE!"
I rushed into the mansion, desperate for any escape.
Seraphina followed, flipping a page in her notebook.
Velzaria walked beside her, looking completely satisfied.
Reina, dragging her feet, muttered, "This all happened in less than 48 hours. Gods help us."
I wanted to cry.
---
I sat stiffly at the long, too-fancy-for-me dining table.
The massive dining hall felt empty, despite the heavy atmosphere suffocating me.
To my left, Velzaria sat elegantly, her expression calm but faintly amused.
To my right, Seraphina had already opened her notebook, pen ready.
And across from me—
Reina slouched in her chair, aggressively stabbing a piece of toast.
It had been two minutes.
And I already wanted to die.
---
Seraphina clicked her pen.
"Shall we begin?"
I blinked.
"Begin what?"
She tapped her notebook.
"Your morning dietary habits."
I stared.
"…My what?"
She nodded.
"For data collection."
I felt my eye twitch.
"IT'S JUST BREAKFAST!"
---
Velzaria poured herself tea gracefully.
"One's morning meals are a crucial aspect of daily function," she mused.
I gasped.
"NOT YOU TOO!"
She nodded.
"Naturally."
I turned to Reina, desperate.
"PLEASE SAY SOMETHING!"
Reina let out a long, exhausted sigh.
"I'm just trying to eat," she muttered.
I collapsed onto the table.
---
Seraphina flipped to a fresh page.
"Subject Eldric appears resistant to dietary observation. Predicting further avoidance behavior."
She clicked her pen.
"Fascinating."
I slowly lifted my head.
"SERAPHINA. IT'S EGGS AND BREAD."
She blinked.
"And yet, much can be learned."
I groaned loudly.
---
Velzaria, sitting too comfortably close, reached toward my plate.
I stiffened immediately.
"W-What are you doing!?"
She picked up a forkful of food and held it toward me.
"Feeding you," she said smoothly.
I jerked back.
"WHY!?"
She tilted her head.
"A wife must care for her husband."
I felt my entire soul leave my body.
---
Seraphina flipped another page.
"Subject Eldric exhibits a strong flight response when confronted with spousal nurturing. Predicting prolonged distress."
I slammed my hands on the table.
"STOP FINDING NEW WAYS TO DESCRIBE MY SUFFERING!"
She clicked her pen.
"Fascinating."
I grabbed my head.
"This is hell."
---
Velzaria held the fork steady.
"Open," she instructed.
I scooted my chair back.
"Nope. Nope. Not happening."
She tilted her head slightly.
"Why resist?"
"BECAUSE THIS IS WEIRD!"
Seraphina jotted something down.
"Subject Eldric struggles with affectionate gestures. Predicting further emotional resistance."
I slammed my forehead onto the table.
"I AM GOING TO LOSE MY MIND."
---
Reina shoved a piece of toast into her mouth and pointed at me.
"Just eat the damn food," she muttered.
I whipped my head toward her.
"WHY ARE YOU OKAY WITH THIS!?"
Reina took a deep breath.
"Because, Eldric, I woke up today and realized my life is already a disaster."
She waved a hand vaguely.
"So I've decided to just let it happen."
I stared at her in horror.
"YOU'VE GIVEN UP ON REALITY!?"
She nodded, biting into her toast.
"Mm-hmm."
---
Velzaria leaned in slightly.
"Then, fated one, will you eat?"
I slowly turned back to her.
The fork was still waiting.
She was still too close.
Seraphina was watching intently.
Reina looked so done.
I felt my life flash before my eyes.
I had no way out.
So—
I leaned forward slightly… and took the bite.
---
Seraphina immediately wrote something down.
"Subject Eldric finally accepts external feeding assistance. Predicting possible habit formation."
She clicked her pen.
"Fascinating."
I froze mid-chew.
"…Wait. What do you mean, 'habit formation'?"
Seraphina blinked.
"If exposure continues, it may become routine."
Velzaria smiled faintly.
"Indeed. A husband should rely on his wife."
I nearly choked.
"IT'S JUST ONE BITE!"
Seraphina nodded.
"For now."
I felt all the blood drain from my face.
---
Reina finished her toast and stood up.
"Alright, I'm done. I need a break."
I snapped my head toward her.
"TAKE ME WITH YOU!"
She patted my shoulder.
"Good luck."
Then she walked off.
I collapsed onto the table.
---
Velzaria picked up another bite.
"Shall we continue?"
I whimpered.
Seraphina clicked her pen.
"Observation ongoing."
I wanted to die.
---
I could not take it anymore.
Breakfast had been a nightmare.
Velzaria had insisted on feeding me.
Seraphina had documented the entire event.
Reina had abandoned me.
I had two choices left.
1. Accept my fate.
2. Run.
So, naturally—
I chose to run.
---
The moment Velzaria lifted another forkful of food, I shot out of my chair like a man possessed.
"NOPE! I'M DONE!"
Seraphina calmly clicked her pen.
"Subject Eldric attempts escape behavior under low-pressure domestic settings. Predicting failure."
I sprinted toward the door.
---
Reina, who had been halfway through leaving the room, blinked as I dashed past her.
"…Wait, is he actually running?"
Velzaria stood up gracefully, completely unbothered.
"An expected reaction," she murmured.
Seraphina tapped her notebook.
"Capture imminent."
I had never felt so much fear in my life.
---
I made it to the hallway, my heart pounding.
I could do this. I could get away.
I just needed to—
"Where do you think you're going?"
I froze mid-step.
A hand gently grasped my wrist.
I slowly turned my head.
Velzaria stood right behind me.
---
Seraphina flipped to a fresh page.
"Subject Eldric underestimates partner's proximity control. Predicting future miscalculations."
She clicked her pen.
"Fascinating."
I felt my soul shatter.
---
Velzaria tightened her grip slightly, smiling faintly.
"You should not run," she murmured.
I let out a nervous laugh.
"Y-you're awfully fast, huh?"
She nodded.
"You will not escape me."
I felt like crying.
---
Reina leaned against the wall, arms crossed.
"You know," she muttered, "I should stop this."
I snapped my head toward her.
"YES! YES, YOU SHOULD!"
She sighed.
"But I won't."
I felt deep betrayal.
"WHY NOT!?"
She patted my shoulder.
"Because this is funny."
I wanted to scream.
---
Velzaria gently pulled me back toward the dining hall.
"Come," she said smoothly. "Breakfast is not finished."
I dragged my feet.
"It is for me!"
Seraphina followed behind, still writing.
"Subject Eldric experiences extreme distress when faced with extended cohabitation. Predicting sustained anxiety."
I looked at her, horrified.
"You are going to write a whole book about my suffering, aren't you!?"
She blinked.
"Yes."
I felt faint.
---
Reina watched from the side.
"Well, this is your life now," she said.
I glared at her.
"This doesn't have to be my life!"
Velzaria smiled pleasantly.
"But it is."
I screamed internally.