I Was Me But Now He Is Gone

When I made this decision, it felt as if my heart was being torn apart. The version of myself who used to stay up late writing code, who would get excited over optimizing an algorithm, was now a distant memory. The sound of keystrokes no longer brought me comfort—it only reminded me of the money I had lost, the empty promises, and my own foolish trust.

I went through my hard drive and deleted every single code file. I deactivated the tech forum accounts I had once been so proud of, and for a long time, I didn't even touch my computer. Whenever someone mentioned information technology, I instinctively avoided the topic. The terms that had once filled me with passion now only evoked disgust and exhaustion.

I started distancing myself from my old circles. I stopped following industry news, stopped thinking about how technology could change the world. I was tired of complex calculations and endless learning, and I no longer wanted to be led toward a future that didn't truly belong to me. Rather than chasing an illusion, I just wanted a simple and stable path—even if it meant abandoning everything I once was.

At that moment, I knew—the person I used to be was gone forever.