Prologue

The sound of the rain pouring. The wind blowing. The busy street.

The sound of someone breathing in a quiet room. Of music playing through unworn earphones.

The sound of a heartbeat.

It's mine.

The quiet in my room makes it seem like I can hear everything else just fine. As if my hearing has been amplified whenever I experience times like these. A peaceful yet lonely feeling, when the only noise I can hear all either come from me or from outside. It's strange how the silence can be so deafening. I stare at the ceiling, feeling the familiar weight pressing down on me. "Just another day huh?".

As a college student, getting to class is the only way for me to actually get out of bed. The room mirrors my thoughts: cluttered and chaotic. Papers and assignments—reminders of effort that feels meaningless—lie scattered on every surface. My reflection in the cracked mirror doesn't surprise me: unkempt hair, hollow eyes, dark circles. Somewhere in this mess are my glasses. Another small victory when I find them. Another battle to simply get out the door.

I stare at the clutter in my room. Papers, assignments, memories, all of my effort—now just reminders of how little it seems to matter.

Just getting ready for college feels like such a hassle, but I don't like quitting things half-way so easily. So, even though I feel like absolute garbage, I will make sure I finish my task. That's how stubborn I am. It's a deadly cycle that drains my energy way faster than it should. I still make sure to brush my teeth and wash my face despite my reluctance, I change into clothes suitable enough for class and look into the mirror. Yes, a black t-shirt and olive hooded jacket paired with blue jeans, I'm comfortable.

I grab my bag, plug in my earphones, and leave for class. I walk down the stairs, open the door to the streets, and stare at the sky for a brief moment.

"It's stopped raining..."

I mumble to myself as strangers pass me by. I can't help but think of that day 2 years ago. The day when my life started to be this way. It's ironic when you think of someone who comes from a prominent background, no flaws in reputation, always kind and looking out for others, to just start spiraling into an endless dark pit with no parachute.

Now I'm just a shell of my former self. No friends since they left me to rot after using me. No family, cause they don't want to be anywhere near me. Just me, myself, and I. The only saving grace is that my father insists on keeping me in college, covering all my expenses.

I don't blame my family. They had to do what they had to do to save the family's reputation, even if it meant cutting ties with their son. After wallowing in self-pity for a bit, I decide to go.

I start walking to the bus stop to go to campus and as soon as I get there the bus arrives. I walk in, take my usual seat and wait to get to my stop. Unsurprisingly at the next stop, a girl gets on the bus and sits next to me—like clockwork. It doesn't happen often that someone sits next to me but this girl in particular is weird, For weeks now, she's sat next to me on the bus. She never says why. She gets off the bus at the same stop as me and it's easy to tell we go to the same university as we walk the same direction. She always talks to me and asks me questions about college and other random stuff but never quite gave me a name. I just call her "Bus Girl" in my head because we always meet on the bus.

She would occasionally point her phone at my face to show me a picture and ask me whether something is cute or not, or show me something funny that she ends up laughing on her own as most times I'm just absently staring. Sometimes she'd ask me some questions, sometimes she'll also pout cause I don't really answer her questions verbally. It's a weird routine but the company isn't so bad. I just wish she'd talk less.

This would go on until we get off at our stop and we start walking. As we walked, she'd still occasionally try to make conversation and I'd still just nod or shake my head slightly. Shortly after walking the same direction for another 5 minutes, she takes a turn to go to her class and I also just head straight for class.

"See you later!"

She said as she waves at me and

"Sure."

Is what I said back at her. I attend class, learn, and go to the cafeteria as class finishes. I always tend to buy the same thing over and over until I get bored and then I switch to a different thing that I like that I find interesting. For now, what I always buy is a cup of coffee and a sandwich. I bring the food and drink I've bought to the rooftop of my campus building. I always eat and enjoy my drink up here, reading here is also great. I slowly eat my sandwich while I read my book and take a sip of my coffee in intervals. The only time I can forget everything is when I'm here.

See, this is how my days would usually go, but today it's different. I've been growing too tired of everything and my urge to disappear is too strong at this point.

I think of the event that transpired 2 years ago. I was fresh out of high school, optimistic and focused on my future. I didn't realize how cruel people could be.

My so-called friends—people I'd trusted—set me up. They fabricated everything. The video, the voice, the victim's testimony. It was a flawless lie. No one believed me.

With how well they fabricated it all, I had no one to help me with my alibi. I was nowhere near the area where they said it happened at the time, and was definitely not with that girl. No one listened. I guess some voices aren't meant to be heard regardless of the pleading. The only silver lining is that my family doesn't believe it. At first they tried their best to lighten the blow, but people who don't like my family helped blow the story up even more. It was a worthless endeavor. Maybe I deserved it, I guess I deserve it.

I stare at the rails of the rooftops, the horizon, and the sky. It's cloudy, perfect, my kind of weather.

I put my book down, the words blurring together as my mind spirals. Each step toward the edge feels heavy, deliberate, like moving through quicksand. My thoughts scream at me to stop, but my body moves anyway, drawn forward by the pull of the horizon.

I used to have everything. Until the world decided to strip it all away. Now, 2 years later, I'm standing on the edge of my campus rooftop, wondering if there's anything left to fight for.

The wind brushes past me, and for a moment, I wonder if it's urging me forward... I look to the horizon once more… and then I look down. I was never quite afraid of heights, instead I was always afraid of what I'd do whenever I'm up high like this. Today, those fears prove to be true. I am losing control over my urges and impulses. My leg hovers over the railing, the drop below calling to me. Then, a sudden force yanks me backward. I stumble, hitting the ground hard. I can hear a girl's voice yelling at me soon after.

"What are you doing?!"

Her voice cracks, trembling as much as her hands gripping my arm.

"Are you... were you trying to—" She stops, her words breaking under the weight of her tears.

"You.. you can't just..."

Words fail her, but the tears in her eyes speak volumes. She may have been the source of my pain just now, but regardless, she saved me.

Bus Girl.