Ten

"There he is! Someone's extra happy tonight because the love of his life is here!" teased Mon, one of our org-mates, as he and the others saw us entering the cottage we rented. It was by the beach, just as we had planned, though it was only for an overnight stay.

"Yieee! Look at James, he's all giddy now that he's seen Lui!" added another one beside Mon, whose name I couldn't remember.

"Psst, hey! Cut it out! If Lui leaves because of you guys, you'll be in trouble with James!" AC scolded them.

Thankfully, they listened because if they had continued, I really wouldn't have stayed long. I was already feeling uneasy, especially after what VM told me. I could see that James was truly serious about our relationship and was hoping for something real. Meanwhile, I felt nothing—I just couldn't force myself to like him.

"Sorry," he greeted me, pulling a chair closer to his before I even sat down.

"It's okay, I'm kind of used to your friends' teasing," I replied, keeping my head down. I couldn't look at him—I felt guilty, to be honest. As much as possible, I didn't want to hurt anyone, but if I didn't go through with my plan, I'd only be making things worse. He would just keep hoping, and I'd be at fault for leading him on.

"Are you okay?" he asked once I had sat down beside him.

"Yeah," I replied briefly.

"Are you hungry? Do you want me to get you something to eat?" he asked one after another.

"Not really. I'm fine," I answered.

"You should eat at least a little. It's not good to drink alcohol on an empty stomach," he said before immediately standing up and heading to the table full of food. He didn't even ask what I wanted to eat.

He's kind. You can see it in his actions—it's not just for show to impress me. I could feel the genuine kindness and respect he had for me. But as people always say, you can't force your heart to love someone just because they're good to you.

"Here, eat up. I'll leave your soft drink here beside you too," he said, handing me a paper plate filled with food.

"Oh my! This is way too much. I can't finish all of this—I told you, I'm not even hungry, remember? AC probably told you we just came from a party," I complained.

"Don't worry. If you can't finish it, I'll eat whatever's left," he said confidently.

"Oh, for crying out loud! Why is he like this? The more he acts like this, the worse I feel. If only he were a playboy or a troublemaker, it would be easier for me to find a reason to break up with him. I know he doesn't deserve what I've done to him—and what I'm about to do."

The guilt keeps piling up. He's always like this—so caring. I don't know why, no matter how many times I ask myself, I just can't seem to feel anything for him.

"It's fine, I'll just eat little by little," I said.

"It's really okay with me. The food isn't dirty or anything. And it's my fault anyway—I got too much. Sorry about that."

See that? He's the one apologizing! Is that even right? Why is he making this harder for me? If only I had known from the start that he was this kind, I wouldn't have made that stupid decision.

I'm really regretting it now, Lord! I promise, I won't ever do something like this again. I know this isn't right, and I know I'm going to hurt someone's feelings. I honestly thought back then that he wasn't this serious about our relationship.

"Go on, it's really okay to eat that. It's no problem for me," he insisted.

"Fine, do whatever you want. You're so persistent!" I said, then took a bite of the spaghetti. He chuckled at my response.

Once everyone expected to attend the party had arrived, the games they had prepared started right away. Some were solo games, some were for pairs, and some were team-based.

After the games, we did an exchange gift, and then the drinking continued. Some of our friends stayed, including us, since we had agreed to head home in the morning. We'd be going home together—me, AC, and VM—since we'd be taking the same bus route. Their dad wouldn't be picking them up because he had an important engagement with their mom. Some of our org-mates left at midnight.

Meanwhile, Nika had already been traveling home while we were still on our way here. She chose not to attend the org's party so she could get home early. She rarely visits home because of the expensive fare and the long travel time.

Even so, more than ten of us remained to stay the night. The drinking continued, but I didn't drink too much so I wouldn't struggle to go home the next day. Besides, I also wasn't comfortable getting drunk while James was around.

I didn't attempt to talk to him about my plan. I let it be for now, knowing I'd still see him at VM's birthday party after Christmas. I decided I'd deal with it then.

Our conversations were mostly casual, and I could tell he was holding himself back from being too affectionate. It seemed like he was content just holding my hand. He was also attentive, always making sure to assist me whenever I went to the restroom. He was careful with his actions, making sure I didn't feel uncomfortable. He even scolded anyone who tried to tease us.

Sometimes, he would just let out a quiet chuckle whenever their teasing managed to slip through. Then, he'd lean in and whisper a quick apology to me.

"Are you still, okay?" he asked.

"Of course. I know when to stop. Why?" I asked him back.

"Because your eyes look dazed, and your face is turning red," he explained, staring intently at me.

"I'm still fine," I reassured him. He just nodded but kept staring at my face.

"Is there something on my face?" I asked, since he still hadn't looked away.

"No, nothing," he replied.

"Then why are you looking at me like that? You might burn a hole through me with your stare," I complained, feeling uneasy.

"I was just thinking about how much you're drinking tonight. And before, you didn't smoke, but now you've had several sticks," he said.

"Why? Is there a problem?" I shot back at him.

"No, I didn't mean anything by it," he quickly explained.

"Are you turned off now?" I pressed, feeling bold from the alcohol.

"What? Hey! I never said that!" he defended himself.

"Then why are you looking at me like that?" I asked again.

"Nothing. I just wanted to look at you. And, well, I got lost in thought because of what I said," he explained again.

"Whatever," I scoffed, standing up to go to the restroom.

He didn't say anything, but I could feel his presence following me.

When I came out of the restroom, he immediately said, "Wait for me a second."

I didn't reply, but I also didn't leave. I just walked over to the TV, where a few of our friends were sitting in the cottage's living area. But it was obvious that no one was really watching—they were all leaning back and had their eyes closed.

Outside, by the cottage, the drinking continued. We were seated on the sand with a bonfire burning in the middle.

"Do you want to just watch TV here?" he asked. I hadn't even noticed that he was already standing behind me, looking at our friends who were leaning against their seats, fast asleep.

"No. I'm not really into watching TV. I'd rather read than watch. I can't keep up with shows anyway because I'm too busy with school," I explained.

"Oh, is that so? Shall we go back, then?" he asked.

"Yeah, let's go back," I quickly replied.

"Are you still, okay?" he asked again.

"Are you still, okay?" I shot back at him without answering his question.

"Just a little more. I'm already feeling a bit tipsy," he admitted with a warm smile, still holding my hand. He hardly let go, as if he was afraid, I'd leave him.

"For me, just a little more too, so I won't have a hard time going home early tomorrow," I said.

"We'll see each other again at VM's birthday, right?" he asked.

I froze at his question. A sudden chill ran through me, and anxiety crept in. I had been trying not to think about that day so I could at least act normal around everyone.

"O-Of course," I stammered.

"Why does it feel like you're not excited to see me again?" he asked, confused.

"What makes you say that?" I responded, silently praying that he wouldn't suspect that tonight would be our last night as a couple because I just couldn't do it anymore. It was exhausting, and the guilt was eating me alive.

"It just seemed like you were surprised when I mentioned it," he said.

"Why? Just because I was surprised, that's automatically what it means?" I retorted sarcastically. He didn't reply to that, and after that, we both sat back down in silence.

Thankfully, our friends were deeply engrossed in their conversation and didn't tease us. It was rare to hear them talking seriously, especially about their dreams and aspirations. Many of them were about to graduate, including James.

"What about you, bro? What's your plan after graduation?" Mon asked James seriously when they noticed us quietly listening.

"I'll probably rest for a bit—if my mom allows me to stay home first instead of going to my grandparents to help them out. I'm also considering my uncle's job offer. He's my dad's brother, and he wants me to work for him. I don't know… it depends on how things turn out," James replied.

"Why do you sound unsure now? I thought you wanted to stay with your grandparents?" AC immediately chimed in. He knew James's best since they were best friends.

"Well, things change, right? No matter how much we plan, if that's not what's meant for us, it won't happen. That's why I don't focus too much on what I want anymore—so I won't get disappointed," James added seriously.

"Wow, bro, you're getting deeper and deeper with your words. Lui might leave you if she can't keep up with your depth!" Mon teased. He was one of the jokesters in the group, and he and AC were usually the ones who started the mischief—like what happened during one of our mountain climbs.

Flashback.

"AC, bro! Tell Conrad to switch with me. I don't want to be in the front. I want to be the sweeper—it's better in the back because you get to see a lot of unexpected things," James said while we waited for our group to finish filling out forms inside the barangay office, where we registered for our climb.

Since it was still early in the morning, we met up at the barangay hall instead of the tourism office. The barangay hall was closer to the starting point, so we agreed to meet there for registration and briefing. Regardless of how many mountains we had climbed—whether major or minor climbs—there was always a protocol we had to follow.

"Oh, you're right! I'll tell them. Let's be sweepers together," AC agreed.

AC happily responded and even high-fived Mon. James and David, who were sitting with us while waiting, just shook their heads.

When we started walking, David and VM walked together, chatting. Meanwhile, Nika and I silently followed behind them. Yara didn't join us this time—she chose to go home to spend time with her family. She wasn't really into adventures and had only joined because of us. That's why she rarely came along on our climbs.

"Lui!" AC shouted. He was quite a distance ahead of us.

"Huh?" I turned toward them quickly when I heard my name. Since they were the officers of our organization, they were in charge of activities like this.

"What?" I immediately asked AC.

"We'll be going last because we're assigned as sweepers. Let VM know—David's being clueless again!" he yelled. VM and David immediately turned when they heard their names.

"We're sweepers? When was that changed?" David shouted back at AC.

"Yeah! You weren't paying attention—you only had eyes for my sister!" AC shot back.

David just scratched his head and stepped aside to let the other teams pass. During our climbs, we were always divided into three groups. The lead group went ahead, making sure the trail was safe to avoid accidents. The middle group followed, and the last group, called the sweepers, made sure no one got left behind and that everyone was accounted for.

As we continued hiking up the mountain, lively conversations filled the air. We used the buddy system to help each other during the steep sections—pairing guys and girls for balance, according to the officers. Though honestly, I wasn't sure if that was really the reason or if they were just looking for an excuse to make a move.

"Lui, hold on a second. I need to switch with James for now. We have to treat his partner—she got scratched by a protruding branch earlier," AC said.

Before I could even reply, he was already heading back. I stopped walking and waited. It wasn't long before I saw James coming toward me.

"How's your partner?" I asked as soon as he was close enough to hear me.

"Huh?" he asked, his forehead creasing in confusion.

"I asked how your partner is. AC said she got injured, so you two had to switch because he needed to help treat her," I explained.

"Oh, that? It was just a small scratch—it was already treated earlier," he answered.

"Oh, I thought it was a serious wound the way AC made it sound," I remarked.

"You know how AC is—his head is full of nonsense," James replied, scratching the back of his head and avoiding eye contact with me.

"He better not mess with me, or he'll regret it," I muttered, wary of whatever prank that troublemaker might be planning.

Not long after, we heard loud noises from the group behind us. Without a doubt, it was AC, Mon, and the others. There was laughter, teasing, and even shouting.

"I knew it—that's why he switched places with you," I told James, who was quietly following behind me since the narrow trail made it impossible for us to walk side by side.

"Hah! That's nothing new. I've been with them on so many climbs now, and it's always the same—Mon and AC are inseparable. Those two are real partners in crime," James said.

"I thought you two were best friends?" I asked.

"Yeah, I guess so. We're close, we tell each other things, and we trust each other. But I'm not his partner in crime when it comes to his antics," he explained.

"That's why I sometimes wonder how you two became best friends. You're so quiet, and he's so loud," I said, laughing.

"If he hears you say that, you two are going to end up arguing again. He's going to mess with you, just watch," he warned me.

As they got closer, their noise became even louder. Someone was singing, clearly teasing someone, followed by loud cheers. When they finally reached us—

"Bro! You having fun, huh?" AC called out to James in a half-shout. James, on the other hand, suddenly turned red and gave an awkward smile, like he was afraid someone might notice it. Then, he subtly whispered to me—

"Don't listen to them. They're up to something again. You'll just get annoyed if you pay attention."

"Ohhh! Look at that! James already has secrets with Lui?" AC teased, making the others burst into cheers and laughter as we continued walking toward the station where we'd rest, cook, and have lunch.

"What the—!" I blurted out.

"Why is it always us?" I complained.

"Hey, Lui, no! We're good! I was just asking James, not you!" AC defended himself. "Fine, I won't ask what your secret is anymore—what matters is that my best friend is happy. Right, best friend?" he added, giving James a playful salute.

Later, as we were eating lunch, I found out that AC had intentionally switched places with James because of some deal he made with Mon. Whatever it was, I had no interest in finding out—knowing them, it was definitely some mischief. All I could hear was them joking around, saying being a sweeper was the best because they got to take everything for themselves.

Back to the present.

"Hey, Lui!"AC nudged me.

"What?" I asked, snapping back to reality.

"You were deep in thought. You didn't even hear James' answer," he said, sounding disappointed.

"Hear what?" I asked, making an excuse since I was starting to feel sleepy.

"Never mind, James probably won't repeat it," he replied immediately.

I turned to look at James, silently asking him what AC was talking about.

"It's nothing. Don't believe AC too quickly—you know how much of a prankster he is. Besides, he's drunk now, talking nonsense," James said with a dismissive wave.