Don't go

It was just past five when the door to his office opened and he walked past me. With a slight gesture, he indicated we should meet at the car. There wasn't much to read on his face, but in his eyes, I caught a glimpse of tiredness. And maybe something more.

I took a pack of chocolates and candies from the second drawer and went into his office. I refilled the bowl under his desk, like Pim had told me to.

I picked up his mugs, took them to the kitchen and washed them. Then I grabbed my backpack and headed to the car. Chak was already waiting, typing something on his phone. When I got in, he looked at me that look that was somewhere between checking if I was okay and wanting to keep me all to himself.

He took my hand and quietly said,

"Let's go home."

I smiled at him. The warmth of his palm quickly melted away the tension of the day.

In the car, he asked,

"How was your first day as my secretary?"

I smiled. "Interesting," I said. "Now I understand why Pim was always buried in work. It's not easy keeping up with you."

He let out a quiet laugh short and restrained.

When we got home, I had barely stepped through the door when he hugged me. His strong arms wrapped around me gently, as if he wanted to shield me from the world. He leaned in and whispered into my ear:

"Time for just the two of us."

He held me like that as we made our way to the living room. Once there, Chak pulled me into a deep embrace. For a while, he just held me.

Then, he lay down across my lap, closed his eyes, and reached for my hand, placing it on his hair.

"Pet me," he said softly.

I smiled and began running my fingers through his hair.

"You look like a little puppy," I teased though inside, I felt something deeper. Something so strong it made me hold my breath. He was vulnerable. And he was mine.

Lon jumped onto the couch and started nudging my other hand with his head, as if saying, "Me too."

I laughed. With Chak on one side and Lon on the other, I felt something I hadn't felt in a long time love.

Chak got up about thirty minutes later and said,

"I need to get ready for dinner with Vikran. We're meeting at eight."

He headed toward the stairs. And all I wanted… was for him to stay with me.

I went to the kitchen, poured myself a glass of juice, and made instant noodles. While eating, I wished he was beside me.

Then I heard footsteps coming down the stairs. I stood up at once and went to meet him.

Chak looked like he had just stepped off a magazine cover. He wore a blue shirt with tiny white dots and dark blue trousers. He held his blazer in one hand. He was stunning. Too stunning to just let walk away.

I reached out and gently took his hand. Looking at him with sad eyes, I whispered:

"I don't want you to go. I want to be with you, Chaky."

He pulled me into a warm, tight hug. I breathed in his scent warm, elegant, familiar.

"How did you just call me?" he asked with a soft smile.

"Chaky. That's what I'll call you when it's just the two of us," I whispered back.

"I'll come back to you, my artist," he said gently, then kissed me first on the forehead, then on my cheek, and finally on my neck. I melted into the moment.

He turned to leave, but I couldn't let him go just like that.

"Chaky," I called out.

I walked up to him, stood on my toes, and gave him a soft kiss just brushing the corner of his lips. My heart was pounding. I blushed, stepped back slightly, and whispered:

"Come back soon."

Chak looked at me for a few quiet seconds, then nodded and walked out the front door.

I sat down on the couch, pulled a pillow into my lap, and hugged it tightly. Over and over, I replayed our kiss in my mind. I touched my lips I could still feel the trace of his on mine.

I stood up and walked to Chak's office. I took my laptop and documents, then returned to the living room. I sat down on the couch and got to work. Line by line, paragraph by paragraph I finally finished everything.

When I was done, I stood up, stretched slowly, and brought the documents and laptop back to his office. After that, I went to my room, took a long shower, and changed into my pajamas.

The warm water did little to ease the tightness in my chest.

Back in the living room, I curled up on the couch, pulling a pillow into my lap and hugging it tightly the same pillow Chak had once used when he lay across my legs.

The room was quiet, except for the soft ticking of the clock. I glanced at the time 9:17 p.m.

"He said they were meeting at eight."

I told myself not to overthink. Maybe dinner just took longer. Maybe they were talking about something important. Maybe...

"Stop."

I closed my eyes and tried to focus on something else. But my thoughts kept circling back to him.

Where was he?

Was he still with Vikran?

Were they… laughing together? Drinking wine?

Was Vikran touching his arm the way I did? Looking at him the way I do?

I shook my head and stood up. Pacing didn't help. I sat down again, picked up my phone, stared at the screen. No messages. No missed calls.

I wanted to text him but I didn't.

I placed the phone face down.

"Don't be dramatic," I told myself. "He said he'd come back."

And yet, a small voice inside me whispered:

"But he didn't say when."

I leaned back and stared at the ceiling. The shadows on the walls shifted gently with the lights. I imagined him walking through the door any second now his blazer over his shoulder, his hair slightly tousled from the wind, that familiar smile tugging at his lips.

I imagined him saying, "Sorry I'm late," and pulling me into a kiss.

But the door stayed closed.

The hours passed slowly. The clock on the wall ticked lazily forward.

10:02.

10:37.

11:11.

At some point, Lon, Sun, and Leo curled up beside me. I absentmindedly stroked their fur, grateful at least for their silent comfort.

But as for Chak…

There was no sign of him.

And I couldn't help but wonder…

Was he thinking of me at all?