009 Not worth it

Qin Zhi'an didn't say anything.

I closed my eyes, reflecting on my day.

"The vegetables don't just appear in the fridge, the dishes don't clean themselves, clothes need to be sorted, washed, and ironed, the trash needs bags, and shoes get dirty the moment they step out."

I opened my eyes and looked at Qin Zhi'an's clear eyes, which seemed to defy his age.

"Qin Zhi'an, I don't owe you anything, and I don't owe Gu Nian anything."

"Your words sound nice, but what you do is really hard to watch."

"Let's get a divorce."

He didn't understand. He couldn't understand.

"Ah Wei, I can help with the housework, and you don't have to take care of Gu Nian anymore. Please don't divorce me."

I didn't like the word "help," but I didn't want to argue with him.

I just wanted to leave as quickly as possible, to stop the damage in time.

But Qin Zhi'an stopped me, holding onto me, not letting me get into the taxi.

"Ah Wei, I really don't feel anything for Gu Nian. We've been married for forty years..."

I interrupted him.

"Would you be willing to send her to a nursing home?"

He fell silent.

I let out a bitter laugh.

"See, your idea of a compromise is simply hoping I'll yield."

"We've been married for forty years, I've let you have your way. Can't you just let me go?"

I always say I'm tired,

but you never seem to hear or see.

I'm not invisible.

I want to live for myself, too.

In the end, Qin Zhi'an signed the papers.

We went to the registration office. The staff filled out the forms and told us there was a 30-day cooling-off period for divorce.

He looked at our marriage certificate and shook his head.

"Grandpa and Grandma, think about it. After all these years, what's so hard to get over?"

Qin Zhi'an turned to me.

"Ah Wei..."

I cut him off.

"The obstacle isn't where someone's standing; it's how light or heavy it feels."

"But whether it's good or bad, it's not for anyone else to decide."