Tea For Three

Penelope left the banquet without looking back, furiously walking back to her room.

She continued to mutter many obscenities under her breath even as a phantom pain began to tighten around her throat, near her jaw. The discomfort became unbearable enough for her to raise her hand and try to massage the physical discomfort away.

The toast was made and Penelope was not even present. 

She couldn't believe the shamelessness of the Eckhart's. Did their daughter being back erased all capability of thinking? Society was going to talk, did they not care about how this would affect their image?

But in truth, Penelope knew that she wasn't important enough to appear in public anymore.

Penelope tripped, by accidentally stepping on her dress, on the second step and fell to her knees. It didn't even hurt, but Penelope began to cry. She rushed to take her pumps off and toss them aside. 

She couldn't understand why being left out of the celebration was bothering her so much. She didn't even like Yvonne but she felt as if she was wronged. It wasn't fair at all, it hurt, it really hurt, she was human too. It wasn't too much to ask to be treated like one. She had no other choice but to believe that it was something that had to do with her.

Penelope didn't know how many hours had passed after she stopped weeping and returned to her room. Though really, Penelope doesn't think she stopped crying at all. 

She didn't bother removing her dress, only the crinoline under, and jumped into bed. Although conceiving sleep was becoming extremely difficult, she felt extremely tired and was probably able to sleep for a few hours at most.

Penelope had stared holes into her wall the entirety of the night. The, oddly comforting, silence was only overcomed by the sounds of the ticking clock and it was morning once more. The light now shined into the room even with the curtains closed. 

And Penelope remembered that damn night again.

Yvonne had just arrived at the manor and her father felt the need to present and show her off to anyone that was ever interested in the disappearance of the lady. Everyone was eager to see the girl and to see if the rumors really did justice to her beauty and they did. 

Penelope believes even her maternal relatives arrived to see and Penelope didn't even know that the brothers and Yvonne had any. 

The banquet was a lavish celebration filled to the brim with the noblest of the nobles. It was just as extravagant as Penelope's debutant, if not any more. The night was filled with anticipation and really simply good fortune. 

Penelope believes that the banquet was done with a purpose larger than a celebration. It was likely also to show that the Eckhart house simply continued to keep winning, glory after glory was a sign of strength and power. The duke was more than happy and it was likely that nothing was going to take that away. Considering the years after, Penelope knew that this was really a fact.

That night Yvonne was dressed in the finest fabric the duke could get his hands on and she wore the priciest jewels known to man. She was beautiful, Penelope knew as much. The night prior to the banquet Penelope was warned about being an embarrassment but really, she didn't even bother to dress up at all. 

Men approached, like always, but Penelope paid them no mind. The day was already horrible enough to spend it with a man.

Being completely honest, Penelope does not recall much of what happened that day. The only things she remembers well are her tears and the lavish celebration. She only seems to remember everything when she feels under the weather but she rather remembers everything on a regular day and not one where she feels so ashamed of herself.

"The water is ready for your morning bath, my lady."

Penelope didn't bother to move but the clock did. The clock continued to move its hands in its everlasting loop. Even if Penelope wished for it to stop, she would only have the strength to destroy the form it takes but never to really stop it.

"My lady?"

Penelope's finger's twitched and oh, how much she wishes to destroy that clock.

"Leave it."

And they didn't pressure Penelope at all. After all, this was common behavior from her part.

"We will bring breakfast—"

"Don't bother."

Penelope knows that long has already passed when she notices that the hour arm on the clock has already moved a quarter to the right ever since Emily left. 

Time was such a silly thing to Penelope. It has been eight years since she was brought into the manor but memories of that time are still fresh on her mind, as if no time had passed, as if all the horrible things hadn't taken place yet. 

There was a knock on the door and then the doors opened. It was the butler letting himself into her room. Penelope didn't even bother with his behavior, having been so used to it already. Sometimes, she can't help but think if this is a situation Yvonne would find herself in. 

Penelope rolled over her bed and pulled her sheets closer to her face.

"What do you want?"

"Lady Penelope, the duke, has asked of you to join the rest of the family for lunch."

Penelope cleared her throat and feigned a cough, "I'm, I'm not feeling so well…"

"The duke has asked for your presence, my lady."

"I'm afraid I won't be able to attend…"

"But the duke has personally—"

Penelope closed her eyes and restrained a groan.

"But I'm saying that I don't feel so well."

The butler stayed quiet for a few seconds but ultimately decided to not bother with her any further, or at least that is what she hoped he decided.

"I will speak to the duke about this."

Penelope couldn't help but think. She doesn't speak to the duke as often as she used to in the past. He tries to spend most of his time with Yvonne ever since she returned. Penelope supposes he tries to make up for all the years she was gone but time can not be made if already passed, she thinks.

It is almost so easy to forget that she went to ask from freedom just the day prior and as said, almost easy. Penelope removed the sheets from her face and groaned. She would rather not speak about yesterday with the duke in front of his children, she was already embarrassed enough.

"Your grace,"

The butler crouched down and quietly explained the situation. Derrick, Reynold and Yvonne, hadn't bothered to listen at all but when the duke's expression became unreadable as he stood up and left the dining hall, they wondered. 

Penelope once read a book that talked about plains in the northern region of Eorka. The plains were a lowland region that extended from the sea, southward to the central Eorkan uplands. The books said that the plains extended far and wide as far as the eye could see. The region is rich with agriculture and most of the commoners are only farmers. Due to the warm bodies of water within the area, the climate is cool summers and mild winters. 

Penelope sometimes wonders if moving away to a place like the plains would be enough to cure the depressing thoughts racked in her brain or if she will find herself in an even more lonely place that would place her in a worse state.

Her trail of thoughts were interrupted with a knock on the door causing her to let out a sigh with resignation. She allowed whoever was outside to come in and was thoroughly surprised when her name was called by a person she was not expecting at all.

Her eyes widened with surprise, and she immediately rushed to sit up.

She tried her best to ignore the discomfort when she tried to look to her right. It was probably a muscle cramp and she tried to pay it no mind when the duke himself stood inside her room.

Penelope hadn't even changed out of her sleeping gown, so she rushed to grab her shawl and place it over her shoulders.

"Your, your grace," she stammered. "What can I possibly do for you?"

"Are you feeling alright?"

Penelope knew well that he cared not much about that.

"I feel somewhat lightheaded, I'm afraid I won't be able to accept your invitation to lunch with your family."

"The family that you are also a part of," the duke tried.

Penelope nodded without actually listening, "yes, yes your children, your grace. I will be unable to join—"

"But then why would you ask me for that!?"

Taken aback by the sudden outburst Penelope stared at him with a bewildered expression.

"I, pardon me?"

The duke clenched his jaw and looked away from her, he placed both hands over his face and glared at her. Penelope who wasn't stared at often by the duke could only consider his expression, a glare.

"You are my daughter too!"

Penelope gripped onto her shawl, gaze dropping to the floor.

The duke could not think properly anymore, Penelope had decided. He was speaking nonsense and it was all due to the unnecessary conversation Penelope decided to have yesterday and she knew it. 

Penelope does not have the strength to continue arguing with him.

"I don't think that excuse is necessary anymore…"

"You look unwell, call for a doctor if you continue to feel unwell, we will continue this conversation later."

Penelope did not raise her head but the duke had clearly left her room. He didn't slam the door as she would have expected and instead carefully closed the door behind him.

Penelope bit her thumb's nail with arms crossed.

The duke left and there was no way she wanted to continue the conversation. She would dread any future conversation bringing up the topic and use her time to procrastinate until it happens, in hopes that the duke forgets about it soon.

After all, the duke hasn't ever followed up conversations with her at all. 

Penelope doesn't quite remember falling asleep but she knows it wasn't for long, only a few hours at most. The knock on her door made her shift awake as she allowed for whoever was outside to come in. She rolled over her side to watch as Emily entered the room.

Penelope only supposed that it had been many hours later because the was beginning to set and the light that entered through her windows was not as bright as the first time she had seen Emily that day. 

Seeing as it was the maid, Penelope let out a yawn. She didn't care to sit up but stared at the tray that the maid was bringing with her.

"What is that?"

Emily gave her a nervous smile while holding the tray closely, the obvious shape of what was on top of the tray made Penelope realize that it was food.

"The lady didn't have anything to eat today or last night."

"And what is that to you?"

"The lady shouldn't go to bed with an empty stomach, you might fall ill."

Penelope understands, she wouldn't want to take care of a sick person either.

Penelope sat up from her bed and began to walk towards Emily. 

Emily thinks that Penelope does most things menacingly and the stare she was receiving from Penelope was filled with exactly that. No warmth or gratefulness, simply menace hidden behind an expressionless face .

"You are making it really hard for me to not scream at you."

Emily seemed to finally understand that she was getting out of line when she decided she was in her right to bring over things that Penelope hadn't asked for.

"I was only concerned—"

"I don't think you have any right to feel that way," Penelope said. "It's disgusting, if you die with pity, die with it alone."

Emily dropped the tray of food and immediately crouched to her knees to pick up the mess.

Penelope slowly began to approach her and carefully crouched down beside her and glared at her, "if regret is what you feel, die with it too."

Emily didn't dare to look up and rushed to apologize once more. 

Penelope then stood up, a looming figure, watching as she picked up the fallen food up from the floor and rushed out of the room without another word.

The next day, Penelope awakes in a better mood. The maids tend to her, she bathes, eats breakfast and decides to spend the day in the gardens. She notices the strange amount of knights in the usually quiet paths that she takes but thinks not much of it.

It isn't until she is approached by a person she was believed to be her friend that she begins to wonder.

"My lady."

Penelope doesn't respond and continues to stare at him in silence.

The man, unbothered and used to her antics, speaks again, "have you already eaten?"

"I had no idea that a knight with a master could ask a question to another, Eckles."

Eckles' smiles as if he standing in Penelope's path is not an insult to her person, as if he had the right to even stand in her presence.

"I serve my master but know to care about the wellbeing of her family."

"Then a traitorous one shouldn't even dare to ask."

His smiles as passively, Penelope once thought that they carried no worries or malice but she doesn't know anymore. Having thought to have known him caused her great pain when he did something she wouldn't have imagined. She doesn't want to hold her chest in pain anymore.

He raises her hand and Penelope used to find it curious but not strange, melting into the touch but that was before and also many years ago.

"You have lost weight," he tries to deflect.

Penelope slapped his hand away, turning to glare at him as he carefully retracted his hand,

"Don't touch me."

"Is Emily being a bother?"

Because he knows well about what goes around them and how evil a maid can truly be;.

"Whatever the case is, it is none of your concern."

His smile never wavers even as Penelope wants it to. They have never argued before because he won't retaliate and Penelope used to love that of him but she can't stand his indifference now.

"What do you want?"

"The duke has ordered the knights to keep a closer look on you. You are not allowed to leave the manor."

"Was not planning on doing so," she lied.

Many years ago, when they had first met. The winter had been very cold, it was only until spring that the snow had finally begun to clear and the sun was beginning to shine. Penelope began to see a new outlook on life, one that was giving her hope.

Penelope felt so lonely and his presence gave her enough warmth but the pain she experienced with his abandonment made the warmth almost unbearable. She burned because of the heat and she feared death because of it.

Penelope turned her head away from his hand again and it was almost impossible to miss the hurt in his eyes.

His hand remained in the air for a few seconds but he finally retracted his hand a second time after acknowledging that Penelope wouldn't turn his away anymore. 

"I don't want to see you anymore."

His smile falters because from all the things that she had always asked from him, abandoning her was never what she asked of him. It was himself who left.

"You hid from me after you left me," she says. "You return when you believe enough time has passed, which leads me to believe that you can disappear again." 

Penelope likes to think that she has always truly known the way his mind goes. Having abandoned her for his own good as well as having disappeared for a few weeks due to guilt or perhaps embarrassment. 

"Don't ask that of me."

Penelope did consider herself to be somewhat heartless but it is only because her heart has been tugged at, just too many times. Although she enjoyed Eckles' company more than she likes to admit it, she doesn't hold him in the same affection as she used to in the past.

"Don't see me anymore."

"Do you really think you will be alright without someone like me here?"

"I'm your superior and you are just a slave turned knight."

"When we met and you were in possibly a worse state than I, we were alike. Will you really be able to live alone without me?"

"Yes."

Eckles wanted to say more but he couldn't afford it. He was quick to resign, Penelope doesn't know if to be happy or find it disheartening. The way the man stands up and doesn't bother without as much as a goodbye as he walks away, cracks something in her.

Penelope has not died of a heartbreak, yet, she has come awfully close but she has lived. She knows well that she will survive.