Chapter 29: When the Hashira Met Saitama

The air in the western mountains was tense. Mist curled around the trees, and faint demonic energy lingered in the wind, but that wasn't what made the Hashira uneasy.

They were about to meet the so-called "Bald Slayer." A man who had punched Muzan into mist without breaking a sweat.

"Stay alert," Sanemi muttered, gripping his sword tightly. "I still don't trust this."

"You never trust anyone," Mitsuri giggled, her pink hair bouncing as she skipped ahead. "What if he's really nice?"

"Nice or not, if he's that strong, we can't let him out of our sight," Obanai whispered, his snake slithering across his shoulders.

Rengoku, as always, radiated confidence. "A hero stronger than Muzan! This is a glorious day for the Demon Slayer Corps!"

As they approached a small clearing, they saw him.

Saitama stood in the middle of the field, a towel draped over his shoulders, looking around with mild disappointment. His iconic yellow jumpsuit was slightly damp, and his flip-flops squelched softly in the mud.

He was staring into the distance, muttering to himself. "Man… all the hot springs are either full of demons or closed for maintenance. What's up with this world?"

For a moment, the Hashira froze. This was the man who defeated Muzan?

"This... this is a joke, right?" Sanemi's voice cracked slightly.

Saitama scratched his bald head, noticed the group, and gave a lazy wave. "Oh hey, you guys the 'Demon Slayer Corps' Tanjiro mentioned? Sup."

Silence.

Then Rengoku burst forward, bowing deeply. "Thank you, brave hero! Your assistance in defeating Muzan has saved countless lives! Please, join us as an honorary Hashira!"

"Eh? Nah, I'm good." Saitama waved dismissively. "I'm not looking for a job. I'm just here for hot springs. And food. Lots of food."

Shinobu stepped forward, her smile razor-sharp. "Are you really human? Or some kind of divine being?"

Saitama scratched his nose. "Pretty sure I'm human. Just... you know, trained hard."

"How hard?" Muichiro asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

Saitama held up a finger, counting off. "A hundred push-ups, a hundred sit-ups, a hundred squats, and a 10 km run. Every day. For three years."

The silence was deafening.

"That's it?!" Sanemi exploded. "That's not even that hard! Are you messing with us?!"

"Worked for me." Saitama shrugged.

Mitsuri looked heartbroken. "That's… so simple, but his power… it's incredible…"

"You must have some kind of forbidden technique or hidden bloodline, right?" Tengen asked, desperate for a flashy explanation.

"Nah." Saitama blinked. "Just trained hard and went bald."

"...Baldness is the key?" Obanai whispered in horror.

Zenitsu, hiding behind Tanjiro, whispered, "If that's true, I'll shave my head right now."

"Don't," Tanjiro whispered back.

Suddenly, a low growl echoed through the forest. From the shadows emerged a twisted demon—Upper Moon Four, but not the one they knew. This was a new demon, summoned by Muzan before his 'defeat.' Its body was covered in thick scales, with eight arms and blazing green eyes.

"A new Upper Moon!" Rengoku shouted, drawing his blade. "Prepare for battle!"

The Hashira leapt into action—except Saitama, who stood there blankly, scratching his chin.

"Eh, hold up." Saitama stepped forward casually, walked up to the demon… and flicked it on the forehead.

BOOM.

The demon's head exploded instantly, its entire body disintegrating before it even had a chance to scream.

Everyone froze again.

"This is getting weird," Inosuke whispered, his boar mask slightly tilted in disbelief.

Saitama sighed. "Man, I barely touched it."

The Hashira stood there, stunned, their entire understanding of combat shattered.

Finally, Mitsuri clapped her hands together. "You're amazing!"

Saitama looked at her, mildly confused. "Uh, thanks?"

Rengoku grinned. "Even if you won't join us, you are a true hero! I, Kyojuro Rengoku, will remember you forever!"

"Cool, cool." Saitama glanced around. "So… anyone know where the nearest ramen shop is?"

The Hashira collapsed.

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End of Chapter 29