Chapter 30: The Accidental Hashira Mission

Despite the sheer absurdity of what they had witnessed, the Hashira couldn't just let Saitama walk off into the sunset.

"Wait!" Tanjiro ran after Saitama, panting slightly. "You… you're really leaving?"

"Yeah," Saitama replied, hands in his pockets. "No point sticking around if Muzan's gone. Besides, hot springs don't punch themselves into working, right?"

The Hashira exchanged worried glances. Shinobu stepped forward, her smile unnervingly sweet. "Actually, since you're already here, wouldn't you like to accompany us on a minor mission? There's a demon nest nearby, and we could… use your help."

Saitama blinked. "Demon nest? How many?"

"Reports say about a dozen," Giyu added quietly.

"A dozen? That's it?" Saitama looked almost disappointed. "Well, I guess I could walk with you guys for a bit."

Mitsuri clapped her hands in excitement, her cheeks flushed. "It'll be fun!"

Sanemi grumbled, "This is ridiculous, but fine. Let's see if Baldy can really do it again."

The group set off, moving swiftly through the forest toward a known demon stronghold. Along the way, the Hashira couldn't help but sneak curious glances at Saitama, who strolled along casually, not even pretending to be alert.

"Don't you sense the demon aura?" Muichiro asked, voice soft.

"Huh?" Saitama blinked. "Oh, nah. My danger sense only works when something actually tries to hit me."

"...What kind of sense is that?" Zenitsu muttered, horrified.

As they reached a rocky cliffside, the stench of blood filled the air. A cave mouth gaped wide, pulsating with demonic energy.

"Be careful," Tanjiro warned, his forehead already beading with sweat. "The scent… it's strong."

The Hashira drew their swords, forming a battle line.

Saitama yawned.

From the darkness, the demons poured out — a twisted assortment of lower-ranked beasts, each snarling and clawing at the ground. They halted briefly upon seeing the Hashira, but their eyes locked onto Saitama.

"What… is that?" one demon muttered, sensing nothing from Saitama. No killing intent. No aura. Just… emptiness.

"He's bald," another hissed. "What a joke!"

"Let's kill him first!"

The demons charged.

Saitama raised his fist casually. "Serious—" The Hashira tensed. Was he finally going to show them something powerful? "—Sideways Slap."

His arm flicked to the left lazily, like he was shooing a fly.

WHOOSH.

The air pressure alone shredded the first five demons into mist, sending the rest flying into trees, rocks, and even back into the cave wall, splattering like overripe tomatoes.

"..."

"..."

Rengoku's mouth hung open. "Extraordinary!"

Mitsuri's eyes sparkled. "So strong~!"

Sanemi stared in stunned silence, his sword hand trembling slightly. "What the hell even are you?"

"Just a hero for fun." Saitama shrugged.

Shinobu smiled, hiding her shock behind her usual sweetness. "At this rate, you might make us Hashira completely unnecessary."

"Nah," Saitama waved dismissively. "You guys are cool. Swords are flashy. And you've got that cool breathing stuff. That's more fun to watch."

"But you didn't even break a sweat," Tanjiro whispered, awe and confusion battling inside him. "How did you become like this?"

Saitama scratched his head. "Like I said—"

"A hundred push-ups, a hundred sit-ups, a hundred squats, and a 10 km run," the Hashira chorused in disbelief.

"And no air conditioning," Saitama added seriously.

The Hashira collapsed again.

Suddenly, the air changed. A new presence emerged from the cave. This one was stronger — much stronger. A new Lower Moon One. Its body twisted and shifted unnaturally, veins pulsing with Muzan's last desperate power.

"I'll kill you all," the demon hissed.

Rengoku stepped forward, flames blazing. "Let me handle this!"

"No need." Saitama casually walked past him. "I got this."

The demon lunged — and Saitama met him with a flick to the forehead.

BOOM.

The demon vaporized instantly, the shockwave flattening trees for miles around.

The Hashira just… stood there. Broken.

"I need a nap," Saitama muttered.

"You can't just nap here!" Sanemi finally shouted. "You— You're ruining the balance of power in this world!"

"Not my problem," Saitama said, already lying down in the grass, hands behind his head. "Wake me up if you find a hot spring."

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End of Chapter 30