(Narrator: Hikaru Sano)
I am in hell.
Not the fire-and-brimstone kind—no, this is so much worse.
This is the kind of hell where your childhood best friend is openly spying on you, smirking like she's orchestrating a grand scheme, while your assistant-slash-definitely-not-a-date companion is starting to look suspicious.
Miyuki sips her matcha latte, staring at me. "You look like you just realized your life is a poorly written sitcom."
"You have no idea," I mutter.
She leans forward, eyes narrowing slightly. "Hikaru…"
Oh no.
Oh no.
(Narrator switch: Miyuki Hoshino – Putting the pieces together)
Something isn't right.
Hikaru's been acting weird this whole time, but right now? He looks like a cornered animal.
I follow his gaze.
And that's when I see her.
Sakura.
Sitting outside. Grinning. Holding up her phone like she just sent a very important text.
Hikaru's entire body tenses. He subtly glances at his phone, then back at her.
Then back at his phone.
Then back at her.
Oh.
Oh.
"Wait a minute…" I say slowly. "You knew she was watching us?"
Hikaru flinches. Busted.
"*Hikaru.**" I repeat, in the exact tone someone uses when they just found out their best friend is a serial killer.
He swallows. "Okay, look, I—"
I hold up a hand. "No. No excuses. Let me just confirm something."
I turn and wave at Sakura.
Sakura waves back. Cheerfully.
I turn back to Hikaru. "*So. This wasn't just a 'friendly outing.' This was an *ambush.**"
(Narrator switch: Sakura Minami – The Wing Girl Wins Again™)
"AHA!" I whisper-yell into my straw. "The realization moment! The dramatic tension! This is peak rom-com storytelling!"
I watch as Miyuki slowly leans back in her chair, processing the betrayal.
I watch as Hikaru looks like he's reconsidering all his life choices.
And then, finally—
Miyuki bursts out laughing.
(Narrator switch: Hikaru Sano – Defeated.)
I blink. "You're… laughing?"
"Of course I'm laughing," she says between giggles. "This is ridiculous! I mean, I knew Sakura was up to something, but this? This is a full-on, scripted rom-com setup."
She wipes a tear from her eye, shaking her head. "God. You two are unbelievable."
I slump back in my chair. "So… you're not mad?"
She smirks. "Oh, I'm furious. But not for the reason you think."
I tense. "…Why, then?"
She leans in slightly, lowering her voice just enough to make my heart skip a beat.
"Because if this was a setup…" She takes a slow sip of her latte. "I didn't actually mind it."
…
…Wait.
WAIT.
I freeze, eyes wide. "Hold on. Are you saying—?"
She stands up. "Let's go, loverboy. We've got work to do."
And just like that, she walks out.
I sit there, stunned, staring at the empty space she left behind.
"Did she just—?"
(Narrator switch: Sakura Minami – Victory is Sweet)
I watch Miyuki leave.
I watch Hikaru sit there, completely stunned.
I grin.
Mission accomplished.
I stand up, stretching.
"And that, dear audience," I say, slinging my bag over my shoulder, "is how you push two oblivious idiots in the right direction."
I take one last sip of my latte, then stroll off, leaving Hikaru to his existential crisis.