(Narrator: Hikaru Sano)
I haven't moved from my seat.
Miyuki left five minutes ago. The café is getting quieter. The waitress is staring at me like I might need medical assistance.
But I can't move.
Because my brain?
My brain is buffering.
Did Miyuki just imply she didn't mind the idea of this being a date? Did she just—
ERROR 404. PROCESSING FAILED.
I blink slowly, then turn my gaze toward the root cause of my current emotional collapse.
Sakura.
She's standing outside the café, grinning like she just won a world championship.
I march over to the window and dramatically press my palm against it. "You planned this."
She nods, proud. "Of course I did."
I narrow my eyes. "How long have you been scheming?"
She tilts her head, thinking. "Hmm… probably since the second I met Miyuki?"
I groan. "Sakura."
(Narrator switch: Sakura Minami – The Mastermind™)
Ah, music to my ears. The sound of a male lead realizing he's in a romance story.
"You should be thanking me, Hikaru," I say, stretching. "I just speed-ran your love story like a pro gamer."
He glares. "This isn't a novel, Sakura."
I gasp. "Blasphemy! Every moment is a potential scene, Hikaru! You just have to embrace the narrative!"
He rubs his temples like he's reconsidering all his life choices. "You need therapy."
"And you need a confession scene," I fire back. "But look at us, still waiting."
(Narrator switch: Hikaru Sano – Man in Crisis)
I take a deep breath. "Sakura."
"Yes, dear protagonist?"
"Go home."
She laughs like a true villain, gives me a salute, and walks away.
I sigh, finally leaving the café.
As I step outside, my phone vibrates. I glance at the screen.
[Message from Miyuki: Don't be late tomorrow. We have work to do, loverboy. ❤️]
I freeze.
Then I stare at the heart emoji like it's a live grenade.
Oh no.
OH NO.
I am so doomed.