Processing… Please Wait.

(Narrator: Hikaru Sano)

I haven't moved from my seat.

Miyuki left five minutes ago. The café is getting quieter. The waitress is staring at me like I might need medical assistance.

But I can't move.

Because my brain?

My brain is buffering.

Did Miyuki just imply she didn't mind the idea of this being a date? Did she just—

ERROR 404. PROCESSING FAILED.

I blink slowly, then turn my gaze toward the root cause of my current emotional collapse.

Sakura.

She's standing outside the café, grinning like she just won a world championship.

I march over to the window and dramatically press my palm against it. "You planned this."

She nods, proud. "Of course I did."

I narrow my eyes. "How long have you been scheming?"

She tilts her head, thinking. "Hmm… probably since the second I met Miyuki?"

I groan. "Sakura."

(Narrator switch: Sakura Minami – The Mastermind™)

Ah, music to my ears. The sound of a male lead realizing he's in a romance story.

"You should be thanking me, Hikaru," I say, stretching. "I just speed-ran your love story like a pro gamer."

He glares. "This isn't a novel, Sakura."

I gasp. "Blasphemy! Every moment is a potential scene, Hikaru! You just have to embrace the narrative!"

He rubs his temples like he's reconsidering all his life choices. "You need therapy."

"And you need a confession scene," I fire back. "But look at us, still waiting."

(Narrator switch: Hikaru Sano – Man in Crisis)

I take a deep breath. "Sakura."

"Yes, dear protagonist?"

"Go home."

She laughs like a true villain, gives me a salute, and walks away.

I sigh, finally leaving the café.

As I step outside, my phone vibrates. I glance at the screen.

[Message from Miyuki: Don't be late tomorrow. We have work to do, loverboy. ❤️]

I freeze.

Then I stare at the heart emoji like it's a live grenade.

Oh no.

OH NO.

I am so doomed.