ThezytheReborn

Look, I didn’t ask to be reincarnated.

And I definitely didn’t ask to be the early-game villain in some dumb otome game.

But here I am—Leon Aster, the guy who’s supposed to get his a** kicked by the heroine before the story even really starts.

Yeah, no. F*ck that.

I bailed before the plot could kill me, planning to live a quiet, stress-free life. But now?

✔ A god is watching me for entertainment.
✔ A talking sword won’t shut up.
✔ The strongest villainess in the game is on a one-way trip to going insane.
✔ And my system keeps throwing me into life-or-death quests I never signed up for.

I just wanted to relax.

Instead, I’m over here saving the world, one bad decision at a time.

Because if I have to suffer through this stupid otome game—

I might as well make it fun.

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This novel is full of profanity so if you don't like cursing then ignore this one.

Screw you Otome Game!I'm outta here!

Crossing the Mountain – And Almost Dying Like 10 Times

The mountain pass was supposed to be dangerous.

What I didn't expect was how absolutely f*cking ridiculous it would be.

✔ Rockslides that nearly crushed me and the horse.

✔ A hidden cave that turned out to be a monster nest.

✔ A sudden earthquake that almost sent me tumbling off a cliff.

I groaned, gripping the reins. "This place is actively trying to murder me."

The sword hummed. "Oh yeah. I'm loving this."

Even my horse looked done with this sh*t.

It snorted as if saying, "I didn't sign up for this."

I sighed. "Yeah, well, neither did I."

The Worst Near-Death Experience Yet

At one point, I was riding along a narrow cliffside path.

A f*cking eagle the size of a damn carriage swooped down, talons aimed at my head.

I barely ducked. "WHAT THE F*CK?!"

The horse reared up, nearly throwing me off.

The eagle screeched and went in for another pass.

I slashed mid-air, forcing it back—but my attack barely scratched it.

The sword hummed. "Yeah, so, fun fact: That thing's called a Storm Eagle. And they like picking up people and dropping them off cliffs."

I scowled. "YOU COULDN'T HAVE SAID THAT SOONER?!"

I grabbed the reins, urging the horse forward.

We bolted down the narrow path, the eagle screeching behind us.

I barely made it into a tunnel before the thing slammed into the rock wall.

I panted, glancing at my horse. "We are NEVER speaking of this again."

After what felt like a lifetime of suffering, we reached the top of the mountain.

✔ Heavy fortifications—clearly prepared for monster attacks.

✔ Smokestacks from blacksmiths, signs of a bustling trade hub.

I smirked. "Finally. Civilization."

I nudged the horse forward. "Let's get this over with."

Stopped at the Entrance – By a F*cking Tiger Rider

I barely made it to the main gates before a figure blocked my path.

A girl riding a massive tiger-like monster.

She had short, silver hair, a scar over one eye, and a cold expression.

✔ Wore light armor, clearly a warrior.

✔ Spear strapped to her back, ready to fight.

✔ Her tiger? Easily bigger than my damn horse.

I sighed. "Can I at least get a 'welcome to the town' first?"

She didn't blink. "Answer the question."

Great. First I almost died ten times, and now I had to deal with Miss Ice Queen on a Tiger.

I cracked my neck. "Alright. Fine. Let's do this your way."

Final Thought – This Day Just Keeps Getting Worse

✔ I survived the mountain. Barely.

✔ Now I had to deal with a warrior girl and her oversized cat.

✔ And I hadn't even started looking for the artifact yet.

Chapter 40 – Near-Death Experiences Are Not Fcking Funny