Chapter 265 - Give Up

Keifer's POV

They're all looking at me like I'm a criminal. I deserve it.

"What the hell Keifer!" Yuri said and grabbed me by my shirt. "You hurt Jay-jay and Kit because of your suspicions!"

I shook his hand. Despite what happened I couldn't show that I was sorry. Even that's what I really feel.

I'm full of regrets and agony.

It took me a long time to get used to it. It took me a long time before I realized that anger had consumed me again. I hurt her. I hurt the girl I love and my friend..

What the fuck is wrong with me?!

I just said that I don't want to hurt her anymore but my body seems to have a mind of its own. I knew she was already in pain. I noticed how she's having trouble walking. She even fell down earlier at the stairs.

But I was blind to her suffering because I only understood the pain I was feeling. How selfish of me.

"What's going on with you Keifer?" Ci-N almost whisper.

I can feel his fear at me. I looked at him and the others with blank expression.

"Is it bad for me to be angry?" I asked them.

"It's not bad to be angry. But what you did was bad! You let your temper exist!" Yuri said still shouting at me.

I chuckled bitterly.

"Kit didn't kiss her." Someone said that makes me stop.

I saw Edrix walking towards me. There is a hint of anger in his eyes but there is also concern.

"I heard them having an argument about it."

"I heard that before too! But Jay-jay made it clear that it didn't work. Kit just tried." He explained.

Shit! I'm a fucking dim-witted!

"Are you telling me the truth?"

He shook his head slightly. "I can't believe it. Are you really that narrow-minded!" He shouted.

She's obviously mad. I can't blame them. I embarrassed Jay-jay in front of them and others just because of my jealousy and anger.

"...of course that's true! Do you think he's going to kiss casually Jay-jay whose? Think about it!"

I almost laughed at his question. I looked at David whose face was still swollen from my punches. If I could just crush his skull I would have done it.

I know Edrix is telling me the truth. He is not lying to me and he has no reason to do so.

I sat on the floor while pulling myself together. What is wrong with me? I shouldn't be doing this but I feel like I'm about to lose my mind.

I want it to end! I want my suffering to end! Even people around me feel sorry for me. I put my stress and pressure on them because of what is happening to me.

"I think we should leave Keifer alone." Yuri said to them.

"It's even better... Let's get Kit to the hospital first." Rory said.

"Let's go to the faculty first and let's say goodbye." It was Calix.

They all walk together and leave me alone. Up to two pairs of feet came to me.

"K-keifer... I'll go to Jay-jay first. She looks like she's not doing well." Ci-N said.

I look at him and force a smile. "Please do... I want to know if she's alright."

"It's obvious she's not okay." Felix said. "...I hope Keifer, think carefully about what you did. You can't always control your temper."

I just nodded and watched them leave. How can I control myself? How can I control this anger? If I let you lead me, I will only hurt Jay-jay.

I don't want to see her suffer. What should I do?

In this situation, I can only think of talking to one person. He is the only one who can clear my mind. He is the only one I know who can give me a good answer.

I grab my phone and dialled his number.

["Keifer..."] Is the first word I heard from him.

"Can we meet? I just need someone to talk to."

["Okay. In the old place.. "] He said and ended the call.

My mind is filled with so many thoughts. I feel like this day will never end.

I'm sorry Jay...

I don't just apologize to anyone. I don't want to go down and blame myself. But for Jay-jay, I'm ready to kneel. I'm ready to put myself down.

I forced myself to stand up and walk out of the classroom. I felt like I was out of my mind while walking down the road to the parking lot.

I didn't even realize that I almost passed my car. Fortunately, I noticed the parked car that I almost hit.

I got inside my car and immediately started the engine. I tried to concentrate on driving because I might crash. But I still can't help but step on the gas.

I reached my destination without realizing it. I parked my car and noticed that the car of the person I wanted to talk to was already here.

He came here before I did. Maybe he's thirsty and ready to taste some alcohol. I quickly got out of the car and went inside.

Kingsground...

I remembered the first time I saw this place. It was just an empty building. It is made into a boxing ring by people who want to fight each other. A hangout for students who don't want to go in and a hideout for people who have done something wrong with the law. I can't believe Tiger really pursued his dream.

To have a place where everybody is free. Free to have an alcohol, free to dance crazily, free to fight till death stop them and free to be whoever they wanted to be.

I thought it was just a joke. He and his friends were talking drunk. While Angelo and I just listened while laughing at him.

Once inside, no one was around except for the crew cleaning and mapping the floor. The disco section just closed so this is it.

I heard a slow clap from not far away. I looked to see who it was.

"Look who we have here!" Tiger yelled while walking toward me.

He was wearing a black shirt and white shorts. His shoes are yellow because of the pain in his eyes.

"I'm looking for someone!" I said.

"I know... He's upstairs." He answered and points to his office.

I didn't wait for what he had to say. I went up to his glass wall office. This place is soundproof so no noise can be heard from outside or inside. Because it is a glass wall, the stage and disco ground are clearly visible below.

A great office for the owner of this place. That yellow hair is really good at planning.

When I opened the door, the person I met had his back turned while sitting on the swivel chair. He is also drinking expensive Brandy.

"You're late." He said and take a sip. "...or I'm too early?"

"I hurt Jay-jay."

After saying those words his glass flew through me. It almost hit me in the head but I remain in my position.

"Dammit Keifer! I told you to stay away from my cousin!" He shouted while pointing at me.

It's been a long time since I last saw him angry. But the feeling is still the same. A part of me is still afraid of him.

Michael Angelo.

"What did you do to her?" He asked while trying to hold his anger.

I stared at him for a while. How does he do that? How can he control his anger? After all, we are almost identical. It's even scarier to get angry.

"H-how did you do that?" I ask out of curiosity.

I lost my mind for a moment as to why I was here.

"What?!" He asked confused. "I'm asking you about Jay-jay!"

My anger. I have to control it!

While looking at him, I couldn't help but hesitate to answer his question. He might kill me when he hears my answer.

"I-i..."

"Aries called me earlier. He said Jay-jay might be home because she's not feeling well. I texted home but they said she's not there yet." He said. "...do you have anything to do with that?"

I lowered my head. "She's at the hospital."

It wasn't even a second before I felt his fist hit my face. I don't know how he crossed the distance between us.

I fell to the floor and writhed in pain. My jaw hit him.

Fuck his fist and punch!

"I'll kill you Keifer! What did you do and have to take her to the hospital?"

"N-no..." The pain is giving me trouble to speak.

He grab my shirt and lift me up. He forced me to face him.

"Keifer... Speak now or I will break every bone in your body." He said with authority.

His eyes are raging with anger. His threat is real because he can actually do that. He can literally break every inch of my bones.

"I-i... I humiliate h-her in front... of many p-people and ignore... the fact that she's i-in... pain." I explained while catching my breath because of pain.

He let me go and fell to the floor again. I forced myself to sit and lean against the glass wall. I catch my breath properly and rest at the same time.

"What do you mean she's in pain?" He ask calmly.

"I don't know what happened but I noticed she's having trouble walking."

He took his phone out from his pocket and dialled a number. He turn his back at me while waiting for someone to answer his call.

"Hey... It's me." He said. "Please check the CCTV record around my area. Look for a girl wearing an HVIS uniform and riding a bike." He paused for a while. "...yes. I'm talking about my cousin Jay-jay." He paused again and look at me, "Sure. I owe you."

He put the phone back in his pocket after hanging up and came to me. I stood up and shook my clothes. I still feel a bit dizzy but I choose to ignore it.

"Explained to me everything."

I did his order while drinking wine. It's the same as what he drinks. I started when my head got hot and anger piled up on them and Kit. He was listening intently while sipping from his new glass of Brandy.

I expected him to get angry again after I told the truth. I prepared my body in case his fist flew at my face again.

But after telling him what happened he didn't say a thing. He keep sipping from his glass until it's empty..

He still didn't speak so I broke the silence.

"Aren't you going to hit me again?"

He shook his head. "One punch is enough. If back then I might have cracked your skull but now... I can handle things without using my fist all the time."

I stared at the glass I was holding. I shook it slightly and the ice inside moved.

"I don't know what to do anymore." I whispered.

Angelo cleared his throat. "To be honest with you, it's good too, You did it. You just pushed Jay-jay away from you."

Yes, I just did.

I know he doesn't want me for Jay-jay. He doesn't want me to get close to her. He doesn't want to repeat what happened to her before. He doesn't want that to happen to us.

I'm not damn. Even if he doesn't show it, I know he still carries his past. To the woman who built him but also crushed him. Ion.

"...You are stubborn." He said and poured wine into his glass. '...I want Jay-jay to study well but her head seems to be getting harder." He sighed. "I should have moved her to another Section"

"Do you hate me that much?"

He stop before taking another sip from his glass.

"What do you mean?"

"Do you hate me that much that you don't want me for Jay-jay?"

"I don't hate you but I don't really like you for Jay-jay." He answered.

Even though I know that thing, I still can't help but feel sad. It seems like everyone doesn't like me.

"W-why?" I feel numb from my throat.

"Because you have a very complicated life. I don't want Jay-jay to sympathize with your family's mess. Her life is already messed up and you don't need what she needs." He's looking straight at me while explaining "...and one more thing... I see myself in you."

Maybe he is right. I shouldn't involve Jay-jay in my family's mess. As long as she is attached to me, Clyde and the Elders will target her.

"What should I do?" I didn't ask him anything myself.

His eyes filled with authority, like a King in his throne. No one can dethrone him from his position. And like before, his words are still powerful.

"Push her away from you."

Those words strikes me like an arrow. I have to push her away. It's the only way to protect her from my family... From me.

But pushing her away means... Hurting her.

No.

The image of her crying because of me is giving me so much pain already. But I don't have any choice. I have no other option.

It's like I can't, I can't get her away from me. I don't want to lose her. I'm going crazy! I can't handle it.

I couldn't stop myself. I fell to my knees as my tears fell. I dropped the glass I was holding.

"N-no... I-i can't." I said and cry like a child.

I don't know but I feel like I'm being crushed. I can't lose Jay-jay. I don't know what to do when that happens.

Everything I like, I'm not the one who likes. I did everything to make them mine. But that doesn't make sense because Yuri is still on their mind. And I was left with no one to love.

Now I was given the opportunity to love and be loved. But why does this have to happen? Why do I have to push her away from me? I feel like I have no right to be happy anymore.

I heard a footsteps walking toward me. I didn't bother to look.

"Look at yourself. You're weak." Angelo said. "...How can you fight her against me if you can't even protect her from your anger?"

I'm not strong enough.

"...Show me our difference. Prove to me that you deserve her."

I will... I will prove to you.

I will do anything to prove it. I will fight for her and I will never let her go. I will make myself stronger. But I have to protect her first. From my relatives and from me. I have to push her away. I need to do that.

But I need you so bad... Jay-jay.