131: Let Me Go

The moment Takashi spoke the words, "Senpai, at the Tokyo Pet Exhibition, I was there," Utaha's face turned pale, as if all the blood had drained away.

Of course, she knew exactly what Watanabe Takashi meant by saying that.

He was telling her that he had heard everything she said to Machida Sonoko.

What should I do?

That was the first thought to flash through Utaha's chaotic mind.

A faint, almost illusory smile appeared on Takashi's face. "Senpai, you were planning to cleanly sever ties with me after today's date, weren't you?"

"No, Takashi!"

Utaha's voice suddenly spiked, sharp and shrill.

For the first time!

It was the first time Takashi had ever seen this woman lose her composure.

All along, in Takashi's mind, Utaha was always dignified, calm, and composed—like a jade Buddha watching over the world with cold, detached eyes, untouched by joy, anger, or sorrow.

Takashi knew Utaha wasn't truly without emotions; he simply wasn't someone who could stir them.

She would never act this way toward Aki Tomoya.

"Is that not it? Or are you going to tell me, Senpai, that you've fallen in love with me? What about Aki Tomoya, then?"

Takashi stared at her, his gaze sharp and piercing like a sword.

"..."

Just one sentence.

Takashi had used just one sentence to force Utaha into silence once again.

Utaha truly didn't want Watanabe Takashi to leave her, but whether this reluctance was love or just habit—she didn't know.

Whether her feelings for him surpassed those she had for Aki Tomoya—Utaha wasn't certain anymore.

Takashi seemed to have anticipated her silence. Facing those beautiful, staring eyes, he smiled faintly.

"Senpai, the moment you hesitated, you had already made your choice."

From those beautiful eyes, lovely like an expensive red wine, Takashi saw hesitation and doubt.

This answer was exactly what Takashi had expected.

Utaha lowered her gaze slightly, biting her lip tightly. "..."

A sorrowful glimmer flickered in Takashi's eyes, the pain of someone falling for another.

"As expected, 'the person who smiles when they see you' can never compare to 'the person who makes you smile the moment you see them.'"

Indeed, he did occupy a place in Utaha's heart, but if he were to truly compare himself to Aki Tomoya—not just Utaha, even Takashi himself knew he wasn't enough.

He didn't believe that Utaha could fall for him so quickly.

Even if she did one day, that feeling would never be simple, pure affection.

"Senpai, when you love someone, it's pure. When you don't love someone, you weigh the pros and cons."

"It's like liking strawberries. You'll buy them without hesitation. But if you don't like bananas, even if you know they're good for digestion, you'll only buy them after much thought."

"But if you only had enough money to buy one kind of fruit, Senpai, wouldn't you still choose strawberries without hesitation, not bananas?"

"Senpai!"

Takashi's voice turned hoarse. He stared silently at Utaha.

"If the one asking you this question today were Aki Tomoya, would you hesitate? Would you be unsure?"

If it were Aki Tomoya...

Utaha thought about it for a moment—and then she realized, with a crushing sense of defeat, that she wouldn't.

If Aki Tomoya asked whether she liked him, she would be happy, overjoyed, without the slightest hesitation.

Because Aki Tomoya was the person who made Utaha smile the moment she saw him.

He was someone she loved purely, without calculations or second thoughts.

Whereas Watanabe Takashi was the person who had tried everything just to be accepted by her.

There was no comparison between the two.

"Senpai, you don't love me. You don't even have to remind me—I already know, I've always known."

Takashi's voice was beginning to choke with emotion.

"I can pretend not to know."

"I've also tried very hard to pretend I don't know."

"But why did you have to let me hear the conversation you had with Miss Machida Sonoko?"

"I finally managed to gather my emotions, trying to pretend like I don't know anything and spend the last day with you, Senpai. 

But why did you give me something that Aki Tomoya didn't want?"

"Why do you always hurt me so recklessly, Senpai?"

"Utaha, do you really not have a heart?"

Utaha's heart trembled sharply.

She was so sad that she couldn't control herself, opening her mouth but unable to make a sound.

What should she say?

What could she say?

Upon reflection, she indeed left all her bad moods for Watanabe Takashi.

"Enough, Utaha."

"Playing the role of your junior has really worn me out."

Takashi stood up from his chair and was about to leave when he felt something tugging at his clothes. 

He didn't want to tear his clothes, so he turned to see what it was.

Takashi realized that it wasn't anything catching his clothes but that Utaha had lightly grabbed onto them.

"Takashi, don't go."

Utaha's beautiful face was right in front of him, carrying a trace of pleading.

Her heart told her that if she didn't do something now, Watanabe Takashi might really disappear.

She had never tried to hold anyone back.

She didn't know how to keep Watanabe Takashi from leaving.

All she could do was make her clumsy plea to him.

Takashi fell silent.

After a long while, Takashi spoke with a voice that seemed rough, like it had been rubbed by sandpaper. 

"Utaha, I'm begging you. Let me go."

Utaha's pupils suddenly contracted, staring at Watanabe Takashi in disbelief.

She couldn't believe that one day Watanabe Takashi would say to her, "Let me go."

The hand that had grabbed Takashi's sleeve seemed to lose all its strength in an instant, silently falling.

"Senpai, hello, my name is Watanabe Takashi."

At that moment, Utaha recalled the first time she met Watanabe Takashi. He had been like a little sun, his smile radiant, cheerful, and introduced himself to her.

But soon, the memory shattered. 

The scene shifted, and now Watanabe Takashi's eyes were dull, lacking any color, his face devoid of a smile, and his voice tired as he said, "Utaha, I'm begging you, let me go."

It was only at that moment that she realized, Watanabe Takashi's smile had long since turned numb, and his eyes no longer held the brightness they had when they first met.

Now, he was like someone who had worked for many years, his eyes full of exhaustion and numbness.

The same hairstyle, the same clothes, the same expression—she had slowly changed him, little by little, to resemble Aki Tomoya. 

Finally, she erased everything about Watanabe Takashi.

She had succeeded.

Watanabe Takashi had completely left her.

At this moment, Utaha deeply missed that winter day when Watanabe Takashi smiled brightly under the sun, full of youthful energy.

Utaha just sat there quietly.

From the warm sunlight to the setting sun, meeting the sunset again.

The sky gradually darkened.

She only came back to her senses when the coffee shop owner came to remind her that they were closing.

By then, Takashi had already left.

Utaha looked at the empty space beside her.

That boy, who would always send her home no matter how late it was and then return to Tokyo, had chosen to leave first this time.

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