He is gonna do something.

JUNE'S POV

A LOT CAN happen in a day and even more in two.

In one day my mom and dad finally got their marriage annulled, he declared he had no intentions of seeing me anymore,so my mom can have full custody, so basically he told me to fuck off.

He didn't exactly tell me to fuck off, he pulled me aside after the hearing ,told me how he is moving across the country with the woman he cheated on my mom with who is the mother of my baby brother who hasn't been born yet,he droned on about not wanting to do this but how this is best for everyone's sanity and wellbeing and peace how he would try his best to keep in touch and blah blah blah 

I nodded along,my eyes moving from his neck to behind him, I couldn't even look at his face I was tired of always trying to crack the code of the emotions he never showed so I smiled when i was supposed to, hmmn'd and ah'd sometimes when he paused until he patted me twice on the back like an old friend and said see you at home and turned towards the exit, 

Home? 

I'm not even sure where that is anymore.

ewe both fully knew that every word that came out of his mouth wasn't true and his promises were never going to happen…

We even did this weird father daughter hug thing which was really stiff and awfully awkward and unnatural(we never hug,ever) 

I went over to my mom, gave her a long hug I know she needed,she squeezed me back sighing into the hug.

I ordered an uber,it said it would arrive in 10 minutes, we waited outside the courthouse gates for nine holding hands,no family no friends to comfort us and rub our shoulder it was just us me and her us we stood there silently holding hands thinking about our lives, my mom was sniffling, tears streaming down her face so I gave her the tissue u had in my pocket,i didn't look at her I didn't want to cry.

The uber arrived, dropped us home,we got out of the car walked into the house dad was right there fixing his clothes in the mirror asuitcase next to him and a backpack was slung over his shoulder like he was ready to go he had dark shades on,a navy blue cotton polo brown cargo shorts and a pair of slides, he looked like he was going on a vacation, 

He gasped when we walked in they starred at each other,he moved towards her, she moved back and without even knowing i instinctively stepped between the two of them.

He backed away,looking between the two of us, he looked hurt, but i may be wrong i couldn't really tell,he has dark glasses on , she excused herself to go upstairs telling me she needed to take a shower she kissed my forehead before heading up,my dad eyes followed her up as she walked up the stairs.

After he had heard the door to their room which is now hers Close shut he moved closer to me asking if it would be a good idea if he went up to talk to her,he didn't want to leave things on a bad note i wanted to ask what was there to talk about, he had already said everything at the hearing, but I bit my tongue looked away and told him I don't think that would be a good idea and he should just let her cool off, he stared at me through his glasses ,nodded once pulls his

suitcase to himself told me he has a flight to catch and he knows how much this would affect me,how he would try his very best to keep in touch he was basically telling me the exact same thing he said at the courthouse the only difference was that this time my throat was burning, and I could feel the tears brimming in my eyes threatening to spill, I could feel myself start to crack again, I could hear the ringing in my ears, I could hear him talking and I couldn't.

This time everything felt so real too real,my face felt tight my body felt heavy I couldn't even understand how I was still standing but somehow I was 

He said some things I couldn't quite make out because of the ringing in my ears, he hugged me again biefly, nodding once as he always does at theend of every conversation.

He rolled his suitcase behind him as he walked out of our house.

I stood there staring at where he was standing the tears pinched at my eyes I wanted to cry, roll on the floor, scream, break stuff I wanted to run after him bunch his shirt up in my hands and scream at him ask him why he had to do this, i wanted to do something ask him if he truly ever loved mom because it doesn't feel like it, i wanted to tell him he had no right to tell me he was sorry because he knew fully well what he was doing when he slept with another woman, he knew what that would do to us as a family, to me ,to her,he knew and he still did it.

I locked the door behind him walked to the kitchen because I didn't want my mom to hear me coming up the stairs we both needed to feel our feelings alone right now and the fact that i know she is crying makes my heart break even more, i crouched behind the island where we used to eat our breakfast and i cry, I cry I let the tears fall,,I let them tickle my face as the make their way down I don't wipe or itch them away ,i dont even make a sound not even a sniffle, I gasp and I inhale bouts of air because I dont know what the emotion is called that I'm feeling I just know it feels like I'm being held under water…almost like I'm drowning even though my chest feels tight, my eyes are burning I'm choking on air and the only thing I can hear is my own heart beating. And I'm so scared

I'm scared for my mom, I'm scared for me.

I want us to be happy again even if it is without my dad

I want us to experience life

Right now we are just trying to trudge on, living on auto pilot not acknowledging the past because it hurts, not trying to think of the future because it's scary.

And I feel even worse for her because she is the mom, I know she is gonna blame herself for the things that happened most of them things she had no control over, it hurts to see her like that and not being able to do anything about it.

I want us to experience life, real life because now that I think of it I haven't really ever been happy 

But I still have faith that God is gonna make a way for us, he didn't just spit us on this earth to cry all our days away and be miserable.

He is gonna do something.