That is just how intimidating they were

JUNE'S POV

IT HAD BEEN a month and three days since the final hearing, we were sitting inside the only walls I had ever called my home when she told me with an unsure smile that we would be moving in less than a week.

I was kinda hurt that she didn't inform me on her decision to sell the car and rent a house but I did understand her apprehension, so I kept quiet stared at the wall behind her as I juggled how soon that is, how much of a change that would be,how much I would miss this house which was once my home, my safe space where I thought I couldn't ever be hurt, but which was also full of a lot of lies and pain, I thought of how much we really needed this change dad was moving away so why couldn't we, we needed a fresh start too a clean slate

So I gave her a genuine smile and asked if I could see what it looks like, she sighed in relief and hugged me tight thanking me for not being angry telling me how she should have told me sooner but she was scared blah blah 

She showed me pictures of what I still couldn't believe was our new house and oh my gosh!! It was breathtaking and gorgeous and huge and it had this really high ceilings and beautiful wooden floors, I swear it looked like something straight it of pintrest, it looked like something I would pin and somehow it was ours?

Her smile was just as wide as mine reaching the corners of her face when she explained to me that the house belonged to the family next door and the house had just been empty and unused since they rented it out to the last tenant who damaged a lot of things in the house they fixed it up a now just wanted to rent it to a good family that is gonna take care of it so one of her moms agent friends knows the owners and vouched for her and she paid for it and that was it,it was theirs.

She told her that it even ame fully furnished and the woman told her that if they wanted to tweak something they could but she didn't really think they needed to tweak anything because it was all perfect. Too perfect it even looked like something mom would design.

We gushed over the house for a while and the smile on my moms face when she talked about it made me want to continue talking about it some more.

We spend the next three days basically sorting through our entire life deciding what can and can't come with us what to toss out what to gift we gave out all our old pots and pans to some of the neighbors, mom said we would get new ones, which I'm oddly excited for, I'm not necessarily a fiend for cooking there's just something about using a fresh brand new pot, or anything that hasn't been used before that just gets me so psyched we sold all the usable stuff, like the TV,fridge,my bed,beds ,rugs you know stuff like that.

were packed and ready to leave by the end of Thursday, our bags were packed and set next to the front door, we only had sleepwear, and stuff we use on a day to day basis and I had already picked out my move in day outfit which was a little cropped sweater a pair of jeans shorts and a cute little pink beanie, paired with my comfy slides it was perfect for running around comfy casual while also looking cute, there was nothing I loved more than putting outfits together, looking cute and dressing up. 

It just makes me feel a little less crappy.

***

 Its Saturday, we are moving today, leaving this house behind with all its memories, stepping into another chapter or maybe a whole new book.

I woke up really early today and just took it all in for the last time ever, these walls are dripping with memories, every where I turn to I can see the family we used to be, the laughs we shared,the arguments,the playful banter mom and dad used to have

There was just something effortlessly nostalgic about it all,and honestly knowing that im erasing that part of my life hurts a little.

But the thought of staying here is even worse than the thought of leaving 

I made a breakfast of toasted bread and sardine eggs, I was just about to take up a plate to my mom when she trudged downstairs rubbing the sleep from her eyes,we ate our food there in the kitchen on the same island we always had since I could remember.

After breakfast I tossed the paper plates away, washed the only pot that I couldn't bear to let go of (it was a baby blue cast iron skillet and it has been n this house since i was born), cleaned wiped down the counter while mom went to take s shower , I had already showered and brushed before I even started cooking and it was still only 6:50 that's how early i had woken up.

We were dressed and loading everything into the back of my moms beat up avatrti by 7:35 ,I stayed in the car while my mom went to check if we weren't forgetting anything and by 7:51 we were on the road, driving to our new life leaving everything we ever knew as home behind,moving forward because that's what life is about moving,changing,evolving,growing.

Change is hard, it's hard to give up the life you once knew the ins and outs of ,the life that was once your normal everyday routine for a brand new one even though it's better than the former its scary 

It's hard to accept that what you once knew is history.

 I stared out the window, at the cars,at the people walking by ,waiting at bus stops,setting up their stalls to start their day, I watch life move around us as we drove, I watched it continue as if nothing happened, as if everything were still normal, when my eyes got tired, I dozed off , woke up at 9:19, we were still on the road mom told me we were close which made my heart beat a little faster, because this is real we were really doing this,starting over.

I pulled out a book from my backpack plugged in my earpiece letting myself get such into a world of smiles, cheesiness and fairytales.

It was a long drive, we arrived at the gate 10:34, it was huge, the security looked really real and serious, they were all broad shoulders and muscles clad in black cargo pants a fitted black top a bulletproof vest with black combat boots, this weren't just some random guys that needed jobs they are obviously trained like soldier level.

They even had guns!!, guns!! Which made me a little nervous even though I wasn't carrying anything illegal or doing anything wrong. 

That is just how intimidating they were.