Guests

Daily Meme

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The scent of miso and seared meat filled the dorm as I flipped the skillet, steam rising from the pan. The rice cooker ticked down the last few minutes, and across the counter, Sato was putting the final touches on a tray of cream puffs. The others were scattered around, either cleaning, helping, or pretending to be useful while doing nothing.

The doorbell rang.

"I got it," Kirishima called, moving toward the entrance.

A second later, Kirishima's voice carried through the dorm. "Yo, the Wild, Wild Pussycats are here!"

Kirishima let them in, and the second the door opened, Kota walked in like he had something to prove. He barely even acknowledged anyone before making a beeline for Izuku, hands stuffed in his pockets like a discount anime tsundere.

Izuku blinked. "Oh, uh… hi, Kota."

The brat barely looked at him. "Tch."

Mandalay walked in behind him, shaking her head. "I swear, he was excited to come. Then we got here, and now he is like this."

"He is trying to act cool," Pixie Boobs said, amused.

"Shut up," Kota muttered.

Izuku, oblivious, smiled. "It is good to see you again."

Kota turned red and whipped around. "Whatever, don't make it weird."

Todoroki looked over at Mandalay. "Is he learning from Bakugo now?"

Bakugo, who had been quietly watching, scoffed. "Fuck off."

Mandalay smirked. "I think Kota is just figuring things out in his own way."

Tiger sighed. "That 'way' is kinda rude."

Mandalay ruffled Kota's hair, ignoring his protests. "He will grow out of it."

"Doubt it," Kaminari muttered.

Ragdoll, meanwhile, was grinning. "Ohhh, but look at his shoes!"

Kota froze. "Don't-"

Too late. She held up his shoes like he was some prize-winning pet. "Look! He got the same shoes as Midoriya!"

Kota looked like he was about to self-destruct. "I-I just liked the design, okay?! Shut up!"

Izuku looked down at the matching sneakers and smiled way too warmly. "They look good, Kota."

The kid practically combusted.

Mina grinned. "Oh my god, that is adorable."

Kirishima slapped Kota's back. "Dude, you are part of the Deku fan club now."

"I am NOT!"

Pixie Boobs and others bowed the moment they stepped in. "Midoriya, you were kidnapped in our camp, and we are so sorry for not being able to stop them."

I barely glanced up from the skillet, flicking my wrist as I added the Final Touch. "Not your fault. They were prepared and strong. And I am fine." The smell of perfectly seared meat filled the dorm, and from the corner of my eye, I saw Sato giving an approving nod. 

Mandalay sighed. "Still, we should have done more."

"Yeah, yeah. Go wash up. Food is ready."

The food was gone in record time. No surprise. Between Sato, Kirishima, and Kaminari, nothing stood a chance. I barely sat down before plates were wiped clean.

"Yo, that was insane," Sero muttered, licking sauce off his fingers. "Like, restaurant-level."

Sato nodded. "I approve."

"Bro, my stomach approves," Kaminari groaned, leaning back. "I could die happy."

"I hope you die from overeating," Jiro said.

"Worth it."

Mina stretched. "Man, we should do this more often."

"You mean eat?" Tokoyami deadpanned.

Mina threw a piece of rice at him. "No, idiot. Cook together. Feels kinda… family-ish."

Iida, the only one who actually used utensils properly, set his chopsticks down. "That is a good idea! Team bonding through shared responsibility!"

Bakugo scoffed. "The hell kinda corny bullshit-"

"Dude," Kirishima cut in, "you eat our food every time."

Bakugo grumbled something that sounded suspiciously like a non-denial.

Mandalay, now nursing a cup of tea, glanced at the TV. "Oh, it's almost time."

Everyone perked up.

"The Hero Billboard Chart?" Ojiro asked.

"Yep," Pixie Bob said. "It is updating live."

Kaminari grinned. "Oh shit, this is gonna be good."

We crowded around the TV, shoving and elbowing for space.

"Move, dumbasses," Bakugo barked, kicking Mineta out of the way.

"Hey! I am small! I deserve front row!"

"No one wants to see the back of your head, dude," Sero said.

Hagakure waved a hand. "It is not like I take up space."

"Lucky," Uraraka muttered, nearly falling off the couch.

The broadcast cut to a sleek stage. A host in an obnoxiously bright suit took center. "Welcome, everyone, to this year's Hero Billboard Chart Japan!"

The audience on-screen cheered. The dorm was dead silent, everyone watching.

The rankings flashed across the screen.

1 - Endeavor

2 - Hawks

3 - Best Jeanist

4 - Mirko

5 - Edgeshot

6 - Crust

7 - Ryukyu

8 - Kamui Woods

9 - Wash

10 - Yoroi Musha

Kaminari whistled. "Damn. No surprises, but still."

Mina leaned forward. "Mirko is still top five. Hell yeah."

"Of course she is," Jiro said. "She is a monster."

Todoroki stared at the screen, his expression deadpan.

Izuku nudged him. "Your dad made it."

He exhaled. "Not surprised."

Kirishima grinned. "Edgeshot staying in top five, too. Dude is insane."

"Ryukyu at seven," Uraraka muttered. "Nice."

Kaminari tossed a chip into his mouth. "Man, Mirko and Ryukyu both in top ten, huh?" He crunched loudly, then grinned. "Guess you really do have an effect on heroes."

Everyone looked at me.

I blinked. "The hell does that mean?"

Mina leaned on the back of the couch. "You interned with Mirko and Ryukyu. Now look at 'em. Still climbing the ranks."

Jiro twirled her earjack. "They were already top-tier before he got there."

"Yeah, but what if he is a luck charm?" Sero asked. "Like, anyone he works with gets a boost."

Todoroki didn't even look up. "He worked with Aizawa too."

"Shit," Kaminari muttered. "Imagine if Eraserhead cracked top ten. That would be wild."

"Not happening," Iida said. "Sensei actively avoids publicity."

Kirishima crossed his arms. "Still, can't deny the timing is interesting."

I side-eyed them. "Right. So I am just out here sprinkling success dust on heroes?"

"Maybe," Mina teased. "Hey, wanna intern with me next? See if it works?"

Bakugo scoffed. "Tch. Like those two needed his help."

Sero leaned forward. "So, who hit harder?"

I snorted. "You think I remember? I was too busy blacking out."

Kaminari whistled. "Man, what a life. Training with dragons and rabbits."

Hagakure waved a hand. "Okay, okay, but real question… if you had to pick a third hero to work with, who would it be?"

"Someone lazy," I said immediately.

Mina cackled. "You are lying."

I grinned. "Yeah, I am."

Iida adjusted his glasses. "It would make sense to seek out a hero with a different fighting style, to round out your experience."

"Right," Kaminari said. "So, who?"

I tapped my chin. "Nah, I love my ladies. Mirko and Ryukyu are like two lesbian moms with different styles. I love working with them. Mirko is the fun one, and Ryukyu is the responsible one."

Mina snorted. "That is one way to put it."

Kaminari smirked. "So what you are saying is, you got adopted twice?"

I shrugged. "Wouldn't be the worst outcome. One lets me cause chaos, the other makes sure I survive it."

Jiro raised an eyebrow. "You are saying Ryukyu actually keeps you in check?"

I gestured vaguely. "More than Mirko does. Ryukyu at least pretends she is against my bullshit before she sighs and lets it happen. Mirko just eggs me on."

Kirishima grinned. "Yeah, but you like that, right?"

"Obviously."

Yaoyorozu folded her arms. "And what exactly did Ryukyu do to 'pretend' she was keeping you in check?"

I shrugged. "You know, lectures, occasional scolding, the usual. 'Be careful, Ryuu,' 'That is reckless, Ryuu,' 'Don't throw yourself off a building just because you think it will be funny, Ryuu.' That kind of thing."

Uraraka blinked. "Wait. Did you actually throw yourself off a building?"

Kaminari grinned. "Oh, you know he did."

I pointed at Kaminari. "It was a controlled fall."

Todoroki frowned. "What does that even mean?"

I sighed. "It means I aimed for something soft on the way down. And it worked. Mostly."

Mina grinned. "You mostly didn't die. Impressive."

"Thank you."

Sero shook his head. "Okay, but how does Mirko handle you?"

I smirked. "Oh, she just straight-up laughs. If she sees me about to do something stupid, she lets it happen so she can see how it plays out. Then, when I inevitably get hurt, she calls me an idiot, helps me up, and tells me to do it better next time."

Kirishima whistled. "Damn. She is raising you like a battle-hardened warrior."

I chuckled. "She also records them and makes memes."

Pixie Boobs gave the rest of the Wild, Wild Pussycats a look. "Did they forget we are here?"

"Seems like it," Mandalay muttered.

Kota, sitting at the end of the couch, barely spared us a glance. "This is dumb."

"Shut up, sneaker boy," Kaminari said, making Kota scowl.

The broadcast cut back to the stage, where the top ten pro heroes stood, waiting for their turn to give their speeches. The host, way too hyped for a rankings announcement, gestured toward the lineup.

"First up, our new Number One Hero… Endeavor!"

The room in the dorm was quiet. No one really reacted beyond a few side glances at Todoroki. If he had an opinion about it, he wasn't showing it.

Endeavor stepped forward, looking as welcoming as a brick wall. "I will carry the weight of this position," he said. "I will not fail."

Kirishima let out a low whistle. "Man of many words."

Kaminari shrugged. "Eh, what else is he supposed to say? 'Sorry for being a piece of shit dad'?"

Todoroki didn't even blink. "Wouldn't change anything."

The host moved on. "And now, our Number Two Hero… Hawks!"

The camera cut to the youngest hero in the top ten, standing there with a smirk like he knew exactly how much he was pissing off the old guard just by existing.

Kaminari leaned forward. "Alright, let's see what the bird man got."

Hawks waved lazily. "Glad to be here. Hope everyone is enjoying the festival. If you see crime, don't call me. I am busy."

Laughter rippled through the audience. Even a few of the other pro heroes cracked reluctant smiles.

Mina snorted. "Man, this guy got the easiest job in the world. Just being young and cool."

Sero shrugged. "Hey, if you can make it work."

--

Steel clashes. A beast howls.

Yennefer's magic lights up the sky.

Geralt sighs.

Jaskier: "What now?"

Geralt: "Just thinking."

Jaskier: "About the monster?"

Geralt: "About the readers."

Jaskier: "What about them?"

Geralt: grimaces

"They never vote."

slashes through the beast

"Even drowners show more gratitude."

Jaskier: How so?

Geralt: They drop loot.

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