CHAPTER 53

The Forgotten Name

The name lingers on the edge of my mind like a half-formed thought, a whisper slipping through my fingers every time I try to grasp it. My pulse pounds as I press my fingers to my temples, desperate to force the memory into place.

Riley's hand clutches my wrist. "Nathan, stop." Her voice is tight, pleading. "You don't have to do this."

I jerk my arm away. "I have to." My voice is sharper than I intend, but the pressure in my skull is unbearable. "I need to know."

Julian watches, his dark eyes unreadable. He's always been the composed one, the one who knows things no one else does. But tonight, even he hesitates. The flickering candlelight casts jagged shadows across his face, making his expression look almost… regretful.

His lips part, and the moment stretches, long and unbearable.

Then he says it.

"Her name was Evelyn."

A rush of cold spreads through my veins. The world tilts, my balance shifting as if the ground beneath me has suddenly vanished.

Evelyn.

The name crashes through me, sharp and unforgiving. A surge of something dark coils in my chest—a memory rising from the depths, clawing its way to the surface.

Evelyn.

I stagger back, breath shallow, my mind unraveling as the forgotten past floods in all at once.

My hands. They were covered in blood.

Her blood.

"No—" The word leaves my throat as barely a whisper, hoarse and broken.

I see her now. The way she looked at me that night, eyes wide with something more than fear. Something deeper. A betrayal that sliced through me like a blade.

My chest constricts. The air is too thick, too heavy.

Riley steps forward, her fingers trembling as she reaches for me. "Nathan, listen to me."

I flinch. "No." My voice is raw, barely my own. "I—"

I killed her.

The realization detonates inside me, a violent explosion of memories that send me crashing to my knees. My breath shudders out of me, the walls closing in.

Julian doesn't move. He just watches, as if waiting for the weight of it to fully sink in.

I look down at my hands, expecting them to be drenched in red, but they're clean. Empty. Still, the phantom sensation of warm blood lingers on my skin.

The room is spinning. My pulse is a deafening roar in my ears.

"Nathan," Riley kneels beside me, her grip firm on my shoulders. "Breathe."

But how do you breathe when your lungs are filled with ghosts?

Evelyn's face sharpens in my mind—her soft laugh, the way she'd tilt her head when she was deep in thought. The way she loved me.

And the way I—

No.

I push back against the memory, the walls closing in faster.

"You don't know for sure," Riley whispers, as if she can hear the war raging inside me. "Memories lie. They twist things."

But I do know. I can feel it in my bones.

I was the one who ended her life.

The past slams into me again. The night was stormy. Rain lashed against the windows. She was crying—her voice high, desperate.

"Nathan, please—"

I don't remember what she was pleading for.

But I remember how it ended.

A struggle. A sharp gasp. The weight of her body collapsing against mine.

I squeeze my eyes shut, but the darkness behind my lids offers no escape.

"I killed her." The words tumble from my mouth before I can stop them.

Riley stiffens. "No. You don't know that."

Julian exhales slowly. "But he does."

I lift my gaze to his, and in that moment, I see it. The truth. He's known all along.

Rage surges through me. I lunge forward, grabbing the front of his shirt. "How long have you known?" My voice is unsteady, but the fury behind it is real.

Julian doesn't resist. His gaze remains calm, steady. "Long enough."

My grip tightens. My entire body is shaking. "And you said nothing?"

"What would you have done if I had?" His voice is measured, but there's something beneath it. Something like sorrow.

I don't have an answer.

Julian places a hand over mine and slowly, deliberately, pries my fingers away. "I didn't tell you because I wanted you to remember on your own."

"Why?" The question barely scrapes past my throat.

Julian hesitates. "Because I wasn't sure what you would do when you did."

A cold shudder wracks through me.

Because he thought I might not be able to handle it.

Because he thought I might break.

Maybe he was right.

I stumble to my feet, the room still swaying. My pulse hammers against my ribs.

Riley stands beside me, eyes wide with something close to fear. "Nathan, let's just—"

"No." I shake my head. "I need to know everything." My gaze locks onto Julian's. "What happened that night?"

Julian exhales, slow and controlled. "Are you sure you want the answer?"

I nod, even though every cell in my body screams against it.

Julian watches me for a long moment before speaking.

"You didn't kill Evelyn."

The breath I didn't realize I was holding rushes out of me. But relief never comes.

Because then he says—

"But you did bury her."

The world drops out from beneath me. My heart slams into my ribs, my vision tunneling.

"No," I whisper.

Julian's expression is unreadable. "Yes."

The room tilts dangerously. The memory sharpens—me, standing in the pouring rain, dirt caked under my fingernails. My hands shaking as I shove the last bit of soil over—

I double over, dry heaving.

Riley gasps, rushing to my side. "Nathan, just breathe."

But how can I breathe when my past is a graveyard?

I clutch my head, my mind spiraling.

I buried her.

I buried Evelyn.

But if I didn't kill her… then who did?

Julian watches me, his silence heavy.

And then, just before the panic consumes me completely, he speaks again.

"She wasn't alone that night, Nathan."

My breath catches.

"What do you mean?" My voice is barely a whisper.

Julian steps closer, lowering his voice like he's telling me a secret I shouldn't know.

"You weren't the only one in that room."

The blood drains from my face. The walls tighten, the shadows pressing closer.

There was someone else.

Someone else was there when Evelyn died.

And I buried the truth with her.

Julian's voice is quiet, but the words hit like a gunshot.

"It's time to remember who."