*Chapter 1: "The Glitch in the System"*
*
It was a Tuesday. Not that it mattered, really, because when you're 23, chronically ill, and spending your days binge-watching cat videos while hooked up to an IV, every day feels like a Tuesday. But this particular Tuesday was different. This was the day I, Leo Carter, was supposed to die.
The doctors had been polite about it, of course. They used phrases like "terminal prognosis" and "quality of life" and "we recommend palliative care." But what they really meant was, "Hey, Leo, you've got about six months to live. Maybe seven if you stop eating hospital Jell-O." Spoiler alert: I didn't stop eating the Jell-O. It was the only thing that didn't taste like despair.
So there I was, lying in my hospital bed, staring at the ceiling and wondering if I'd ever get to finish the last season of *Demon Slayer*. My best friend, Mia, sat beside me, scrolling through her phone and occasionally tossing me a grape. She'd been my ride-or-die since kindergarten, and now she was here for the grand finale.
"You know," I said, breaking the silence, "if I had a nickel for every time I thought I'd die before I turned 24, I'd have… well, exactly one nickel. But still, it's the principle of the thing."
Mia rolled her eyes. "Leo, if you had a nickel for every time you made a terrible joke, you'd be richer than Elon Musk. And also, you'd still be dying."
"Fair point," I conceded, popping another grape into my mouth. "But at least I'd die with style."
As if on cue, the heart monitor beside me started beeping erratically. Mia froze, her phone slipping from her hand. "Leo? Leo, are you okay?"
I opened my mouth to respond, but no words came out. Instead, I felt a strange warmth spreading through my chest, like someone had replaced my blood with hot cocoa. My vision blurred, and the last thing I saw was Mia's panicked face as she screamed for the nurses.
And then… nothing.
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**SYSTEM INITIALIZING…**
**WELCOME, USER. PLEASE WAIT WHILE WE PROCESS YOUR REINCARNATION.**
Wait, what?
I blinked, or at least I thought I did, because I didn't have eyes anymore. Or a body. Or, you know, a hospital bed. I was floating in a void, surrounded by glowing blue text that looked suspiciously like a Windows 95 error message.
**REINCARNATION COMPLETE. PLEASE SELECT YOUR STARTING WORLD:**
**[1] FANTASY REALM (DRAGONS, MAGIC, AND ELVES)**
**[2] SCI-FI UNIVERSE (SPACESHIPS, LASERS, AND ROBOTS)**
**[3] MODERN-DAY EARTH (SAME OLD, SAME OLD)**
**[4] RANDOM (WE CHOOSE FOR YOU!)**
I stared at the options, my nonexistent brain struggling to process what was happening. Was this some kind of weird fever dream? Had I accidentally OD'd on Jell-O? Or was this… the afterlife?
Before I could decide, the system beeped again.
**WARNING: USER INACTIVITY DETECTED. SELECTING RANDOM OPTION.**
"Wait, no!" I shouted, or at least I tried to. "I didn't pick anything yet!"
Too late. The void around me dissolved into a swirl of colors, and I felt myself being pulled into what I could only describe as a cosmic blender. When the spinning finally stopped, I found myself lying on the ground, staring up at a sky that was definitely not Earth's.
"Great," I muttered, sitting up and brushing dirt off my… wait, was this a tunic? And were those boots? "Just great. I died, got reincarnated by a glitchy system, and now I'm in some medieval LARPing nightmare."
**WELCOME TO THE FANTASY REALM, USER LEO CARTER. YOUR NEW LIFE BEGINS NOW.**
"Oh, fantastic," I said, standing up and looking around. The landscape was straight out of a Tolkien novel—rolling green hills, a sparkling river, and a forest that looked like it was hiding at least three dragons and a grumpy wizard.
But before I could fully appreciate the scenery, a voice interrupted my thoughts.
"Hey! You there! Are you lost?"
I turned to see a girl walking toward me. She had long, silver hair, pointed ears, and a bow slung over her shoulder. An elf. Of course it was an elf.
"Uh, yeah," I said, scratching the back of my head. "You could say that. I just… got here."
She tilted her head, studying me with curious blue eyes. "You're not from around here, are you?"
"Nope," I said, popping the 'p.' "I'm from Earth. You know, skyscrapers, smartphones, bad reality TV. That kind of thing."
She blinked. "I have no idea what any of that means."
"Yeah," I said with a sigh. "I didn't think you would."
And just like that, my new life began. A life filled with magic, adventure, and—if the system had anything to say about it—a whole lot of awkward moments. Because if there's one thing I've learned, it's that even in a fantasy world, I can't escape my terrible luck.
Or my terrible jokes.
**SYSTEM NOTIFICATION: QUEST RECEIVED – "SURVIVE YOUR FIRST DAY IN THE FANTASY REALM."**
"Oh, come on," I groaned. "This is going to be a long life, isn't it?"
The elf girl smiled. "My name's Lyra, by the way. Welcome to the party."
"Leo," I said, returning her smile. "And trust me, you're going to regret inviting me."
Little did I know, this was just the beginning of the weirdest, funniest, and most ridiculous adventure of my life—or rather, my second life.