Ethan occupied my mind

Chapter 7

After Ethan left, I floated on a cloud into my house. I didn't want to believe that any of what happened today really happened but it did and it made my heart lighter than ever.

Ethan occupied my mind for the rest of the day as I did my chores and then my homework. Afterward, I settled down to watch To All The Boys I've Loved Before but I couldn't even focus on the movie. Ethan was the only thing on my mind and I ended up falling asleep in front of the TV.

I had a dream. I dreamt of Ethan and I being together. In my dream, there was no pact, no Liliana, and Ethan and I had nothing stopping us from being together. Things were better for me too, just like they were before my dad died and everything changed. So people had no reason to talk about us and why we couldn't be together. They couldn't call me a gold digger or a charity case for Ethan.

This wasn't the first time I had had a dream like this. Of course, this was a recurrent dream but unlike all the other times, there was a sort of realness to this dream now. It didn't just feel like a fantasy. It almost felt like this was actually my life and not what it really was. A dream.

I was awakened by the creak of the door, jingling of keys, and rustle of fabric. I knew that it could only be one person.

"Hi Mom," I said sleepily, rubbing my eyes to clear my vision.

"Sorry I woke you up, honey. How are you doing?" she asked, sitting beside me on the couch where I had fallen asleep and patting my hair gently. "I'm fine. How was work?" I placed my head on her lap and let her play with my hair with one hand while she changed the channel with the other.

"Work was... work." I smiled sadly. That was my mom for you. Nora O'Connor was very set on making sure I never knew about all the troubles she had to go through every day at the many jobs she had.

She didn't want me to worry, she said. But I did worry a lot.

Things had never been easy for my mom. She met my dad, Xavier when she was fifteen and was pregnant by the time she was sixteen and my dad was nineteen. Her parents were furious and kicked her out. She was the local pastor's daughter after all and her pregnancy would have ruined their reputation.

Thankfully, my dad's family was more supportive and they took her in until she and my dad were able to fend for themselves.

Things were pretty rocky at first but then they got better and I remembered how fun our home used to be. Then when I turned ten, my dad died in a plane crash. He had been on his way to close this really big deal that would have turned things around for his business but he never got to close the deal and I never saw him again.

It got pretty bad for a while and we were pretty much living from hand to mouth at a point. My dad's life insurance was the only reason why we didn't lose the house.

I still remember Ethan and Emily's parents trying to help and from time to time, my mom would ask for little loans which she would always pay back even if the Graysons told her she didn't have to. She didn't want to rely on anyone and she was also pretty determined to make sure I didn't starve.

It took a while but we eventually got our life back on track. I knew it wasn't easy for my mom then and she still had to work two jobs even now. I tried to help her out but she always refused my help. This was why she was pretty mad when I got a part-time job as a waitress behind her back.

Eventually, she agreed to let me work but made me promise it wouldn't affect my studies. That was the most important thing, she'd said. Because of her pregnancy, she never got to finish high school so she didn't want the same to happen to me. She'd told me that I was free to date too but if it affected my studies, she'd have to step in.

My mom was cool like that. She never let the weird looks that we got bother her and as a white woman with a brown skin daughter, we'd gotten a lot of those. I remember a few "well-meaning" people approaching me when I was younger and asking if I needed help while I was out with my mom. Others would approach her and ask if she'd found me somewhere or adopted me. Most people never believed I was her biological child.

But I was. She was white, a brunette and my dad had been black, an African American so I was biracial with skin that was too dark to be white and too light to be black. It was this whole thing but just like my mom, I never let it bother me.

I knew who I was and that was all that mattered. I looked like my mom but she said I got my height and eyes from my dad. I still had memories of my dad before he died and I knew this to be true. My mom had been taller than my dad just like she was taller than me now and I wasn't sure if that was changing anytime soon.

My mom continued to pat and play with my hair while she watched the show on the TV in silence. When her hand stilled, I knew that she'd fallen asleep and sat up to check. I was right.

Trying my best to be silent, I stood and went upstairs to grab a blanket which I proceeded to drape over my mom after I had helped her rest comfortably on the chair. Then I turned the TV off and went upstairs to my room to retire for the night.

I wasn't too sleepy though so I decided to pass time by making an entry into my journal that was definitely not a diary! I didn't do diaries.

After taking my seat by my reading table, I turned on the lamp, grabbed my journal and pen, and started my entry.

"September 5th... What a day!"

***

The next day after school, I was working my shift at Pizza Planet. I had been working there for a few months after quitting my previous job at a different restaurant.

The pay was pretty average but at least, I didn't have to ask my mom for every single thing I needed. I liked that I didn't have to be dependent on her plus I was putting most of my income aside for a real emergency.

I was pretty good at my job too. Well, as good as you could be at wiping tables and taking and serving pizzas for a few hours.

The manager had commended me a few times and even tried to offer me the position of an assistant manager even though I hadn't been there for long but I had to reject it. It was a full-time job which wasn't practical since I was still in school.

Other than the occasional rude customers and mishaps, I genuinely enjoyed my job and the experience I was getting.

At the moment, I had just finished clearing a table that had just been vacated and was on my way to the kitchen. While I was on this, I thought of Ethan and suddenly, I was grinning.

We hadn't gotten a chance to talk today but that was expected. After all, we were in different classes, had different schedules, and belonged to different social circles. Apart from special occasions, we seldom crossed paths in school.

It was a little sad but at the same time, the little moments we shared yesterday were still on my mind. His parting words and the promise they'd held were practically engraved on my brain.

I was excitedly waiting for 'next time'.

After my trip to the kitchen, I stepped out and one of my coworkers, a tall pretty brunette called Amanda told me about the new table I had to serve.

"Table 7," I muttered to myself, grabbing my pen and notepad as I made my way to the table. "Hi. Welcome to Pizza Planet. What can I...?" I trailed off mid-sentence as my eyes fell on the occupants of Table 7.

Great! Great! Just great! Could today get any better? Mind you, I'm being sarcastic. Very sarcastic.