Chapter 11

These past few days have taken a great toll on me at the restaurant because so many guests have been coming through and school on the other hand has been demanding. I'm just glad that I have school and work to keep me busy which has helped me heal quickly than I thought . They have been a good destruction. I've heard people who have experienced heartbreaks say it's good to keep yourself occupied during such a tough period cause it tends to keep your mind busy instead of focusing on the hurt and truly it has worked for me. It's been three months since Phil left me but I'm now in a better place than I was when it happened. I've decided to just focus on myself and keep improving in ways that will help me grow as an individual. The healing journey can be a bit complex because on certain days you feel you're totally healed and the next you're back to being hurt and sad when you think of why things had to happen in the way that they did. But what's more important is choosing not to get stack in a place of distress. I've learnt over the past few months that's it's okay to hurt and cry once in a while when the pain hits because healing is a journey that must and should be embraced wholly. There is no need to rush. It's important to heal at one's pace because the wounds of the heart are different. Some aren't so deep and others are.

Some few weeks ago, I read a book on healing hearts. The author started by explaining the five stages of grief which are denial, anger, bargaining,depression and acceptance. She went on to explain that when one faces a heartbreak, they go through the exact same stages of grief and I could really relate. Heartbreaks can be deep. Also, she explained that healing is a choice that we can choose to make. After reading that book, I decided to start picking up the pieces of my heart slowly but surely and here I am today. "Laila, someone is here waiting for you at the car pack" Angela told me "Oh okay. Do you know who the person is" I asked with curiosity because I wasn't expecting anyone "It's a surprise my girl. Just change quickly and go see for yourself" "Alright Angela, you win" I said with a smile. She smiled mischievously and left . It was already evening and I was getting ready to start walking home. I left the restaurant building and walked towards the car pack "Susieeee!" I shouted and ran towards her. We hugged and laughed " wow Susie, I'm so glad you came to see me, I really missed you" I told her "I missed you more bestfriend" Susie said. "My husband is on leave for two weeks so I decided to take this opportunity to leave him with the boy and come see you bestfriend" "I don't even know what to say. That was a great sacrifice on your part bestfriend. Thank you for coming. You're going to make a grown up cry now" I said with a few tears already welling up in my lower eyelids " "Oh no bestfriend don't cry. This is not the time for tears. You have cried enough already" Susie said while wiping the tears that attempted to fall from my eyes. We got into the the taxi that brought her from the airport and went to my house.

We had some cake as desert because the both of us were satisfied already. " Laila, I had to come and see you for myself to make sure you were really okay after what that douchbag did. I wanted to come earlier but didn't have someone to help me take care of Dan as his Dad was quite busy and my young sister was also busy with school. I'm glad you look better than I anticipated. I know how devastating heartbreaks can be." Susie said with a smile " Oh yes it was horrible. I cried almost everyday after it happened. You kept checking on me everyday and that made me feel better and less alone in this. I didn't want you getting so worried so most times, you'd call I would say I was doing fine when I was literally breaking on the inside" I told her "Oh I feel so bad right now. I wish we still stayed close to this neighborhood. It was easier those days for either of us to just visit each other anytime without thinking about distance" Susie said "I know right" I responded "When you told me you had fallen in love I was over the moon because I had been looking forward to you experiencing what true love is like. The way you spoke about him made me feel at ease because I knew that if there was anything off, you wouldn't hesitate to let me know and we could talk about it and find a way forward like always. When the whole communication thing became a problem on his part,I thought you guys would work around it because I thought he really loved you. Him ghosting you just exposed what kind of a selfish person he really was and it's his loss bestfriend really. You're beautiful, smart and intelligent and I know a man who will love you truly for all that you're will find you soon." Susie told me. "Thanks Susie. I just don't know if I will ever find someone to love me. I feel like I just get asked out by the wrong people now. I didn't love George so when he left, I wasn't hurt but Phil broke me into pieces. He treated me right and made me feel loved by how he paid attention to things that affected me. He was someone I could go to and pour out my heart not knowing he didn't really love me enough to even tell me he didn't want the relationship anymore. Maybe I'm just nobody's spec anyway and that's okay. Who knows maybe he wanted someone he could get intimate with before marriage and pretended to appreciate my values. I just don't know where I went wrong bestfriend" I told her "what? Is this what that guy has made you start believing now Laila? That you're nobody's spec or your values are worthless? Listen to me Laila, a man who loves you will do everything in his power to keep you. He will treasure you with his whole heart and you won't have any doubts about his love because it will be so pure and intentional. You're beautiful and when that man comes, he will show you how rare of a gem you are my friend." Susie said while looking at me intently making sure I knew she meant what she said. "Thank you bestfriend. I hear you. I don't know what I would have done without you. I told my aunt about the break up and she told me that the man meant for me won't ever have to leave and she comforted me and kept checking on me regularly to make sure I was fine. I told Susie. "Enough about me bestfriend, what is going on with you, you're really glowing. I can see your husband is taking good care of you." I told her "Oh Laila, you're making me blush now. I started an online business a few weeks ago like I told you over the phone. It's really been keeping me busy especially when my husband is at work and the baby is sleeping." Susie said "That's good to hear besty. I'm glad this online business is working out for you." I told her. By the time we were done chatting that night, it was past 1 am.

The following day was Saturday so we went into town for some shopping and after we were done. We decided to to have lunch at an eatery. We settled for Frenchlies, chicken and coleslaw along side some guava fruit drinks on the menu. After finishing the delicious meal we decided to enjoy the serenity of the place. We decided to leave the eatery at 4pm. As we were leaving the place, I turned around and was admiring the beautiful design at the restaurant entrance when I heard Susie shout my name from a distance. I turned around and started walking really fast to catch up with her. As I was walking, I wasn't paying attention to check if there was anyone walking in my direction as I was replying to a message on my phone from a friend from school. I immediately felt I hit a wall and my phone dropped. I looked up only to see a pair of blue eyes looking at me with a mischievous smile. I quickly apologized and bent down so I could pick my phone and he beat me to it. He looked at me intently for a second and then quickly fixed his eyes to my phone. "There is no crack on the screen. Just make sure to look where you're going next time." He said in his deep voice. All I could do was nod my head like a child been scolded. He turned and walked away. I remained dumbfounded and fixated to where I was standing until Susie came and shook me to reality "Laila, who was that handsome man I saw you with just now. Do you guys know each other? He stared at you like he liked you? Wait don't tell me he's been asking you out after that douchbag and you've refused to give him a chance? Susie inquired "OMG, calm down bestfriend. Non of those things you asked is true" I responded while laughing at her level of imagination. "What, you mean you don't know that man and he was staring at you like that?" "No, I don't know him but I have seen him before a few times. The first time was when he came to the restaurant with his work colleagues and the other time I met him was at a cafeteria.Maybe he was wondering why I was on my phone instead of concentrating on where I was going no wonder the stare" I laughed " He's really handsome you know" Susie winked " Of course he is and the more reason he wouldn't even look twice at me" I told her. Susie just looked at me and shook her head in disapproval of my statement "Come to think of it Susie, each time I have met this man, he always stares at me and it makes me think I have something on my face. He usually wears this faceless expression. Wait… could he be a kidnapper?" Susie laughed at me so hard until I told her to shut up cause people walking past us would think we were crazy. "I'm sorry Laila, I…I….I can't" she burst into laughter again. I pulled her away from the eatery and joined in the laughter even when I didn't know why she was laughing yet. It was so contagious. She had already began to tear up because of the laughing and I was holding my mouth while laughing. We looked at each other and burst into laughter all over again. When we calmed down, she finally spoke. "Laila, you're so naive. I have warned you to stop having illusions about people because of the articles you read about kidnappers. Now everyone around you is eventually a kidnapper." She said with a smile "It's just the way he stares at me" I told her. "Laila, that guy likes you." Susie told me again "I don't think so Susie, I'm way out of his league and besides this kind of man is one that would get any woman of his choice without even saying a word" I told her "Alright Laila,let's wait and see, you will tell me what happens" she told me. I just rolled my eyes and shook my head. By the time we were getting home, we were so exhausted. We freshened up and ate some snacks and then slept off.