When Death Wears Black—As Always, Duh?

"I told you," Zhuxen beamed, positively glowing — not because of the potion's effects, but because Thanatos was still standing very close to her.

She shot Lian a triumphant thumbs up, as if she had just downed the elixir of life instead of whatever unholy concoction the God of Death had casually brewed from the abyss like it was a vintage wine.

Lian, who had only agreed to drink the potion out of sheer loyalty — and perhaps a faint, desperate hope that if she survived this, the underworld might offer employee benefits — was currently clutching her stomach like she had been personally betrayed by every decision that had led her to this point.

Her face had turned a charming shade of green, and her mouth was clamped shut so tightly it looked like her entire digestive system was trying to file for early retirement.

Zhuxen's smile widened, oblivious. "It had... a certain earthy undertone, wouldn't you agree?"

"Earthy undertone?" Lian wheezed, one eye twitching. "I-I never knew you enjoyed the taste of mud, Lady Zhuxen."

Zhuxen flicked a hand through her perfectly styled hair, the picture of elegance — or at least what elegance would look like if it had absolutely no survival instincts.

"You simply have to let the flavor settle on your tongue, Lian. There was a subtle hint of... how should I describe it? Ah, yes — despair."

Lian gagged so hard she almost passed out for the third time that day.

Thanatos, who had been leaning casually against the gate, watching the entire exchange like a man who regularly made people drink suffering for a living, finally let out a slow, wicked chuckle.

"Oh, she's precious," he mused, flicking a finger toward Lian without even looking. "We can keep her then."

Zhuxen's heart did an embarrassing little backflip at the we.

Lian, on the other hand, looked like she was about to start gnawing through the bars of Tartarus to escape.

"If I die," she croaked, still clutching her stomach, "I'm going to haunt you both."

"Good luck with that," Thanatos smirked. "You're already halfway there."

Thanatos straightened, his sharp smirk curling as if he'd been waiting for this exact moment. He stretched his arms leisurely before resting both hands on the gates, feeling the dark energy coiling around Zhuxen and Lian's souls like invisible threads. The potion was working — binding them to Tartarus' laws, whether they liked it or not.

"Now," he purred, the low rumble of his voice sending an involuntary shiver down Zhuxen's spine, "for the fun part."

With a lazy push, the colossal gates groaned open — far more dramatic than necessary, because Thanatos was, at the end of the day, a certified bastard who lived for the theatrics.

Zhuxen and Lian instinctively braced themselves for what they assumed would be eternal night, rivers of molten lava, or perhaps a tasteful landscape of screaming souls impaled on spikes. Instead—

WHAM!

A blinding light assaulted their eyes with all the subtlety of a slap from God himself.

"Holy fuck!" Zhuxen cursed — a sound so unfamiliar coming from her rose-petal lips that Lian's soul briefly considered leaving her body again out of pure scandal.

Naturally, Zhuxen took full advantage of the chaos to latch onto the nearest warm body — which she thought was Thanatos — only to blink back tears and find herself clutching the arm of a tall, intimidating stranger with flowing dark hair that cascaded down his back like a river of midnight silk.

Zhuxen's heart stopped.

Her brain stopped.

Her soul briefly left for a coffee break.

"Who the hell are you?!" she shrieked, halfway prepared to either stab him or marry him on the spot — whichever came first.

The stranger raised a perfectly sculpted brow. "It's just me, idiot."

Zhuxen's mouth fell open, her gaze snapping to the man's face — and oh sweet heavens above, it really was Thanatos.

Except he was taller.

And broader.

And his voice had dropped two octaves into something that belonged in forbidden poems and late-night confessions.

Even his hair had grown out in the span of approximately three blinks — cascading down his back in a way that made him look less like a death deity and more like the lead singer of a highly successful underworld boyband.

Zhuxen dramatically slapped a hand over her mouth. "My dearest boo!" she gasped, like she had just accidentally stumbled onto the cover of a romance novel. "What in the hells happened to you?! How did you grow up so much in the span of a few blinks?! And your hair—ohhh..."

Her eyes trailed the length of his dark locks, barely suppressing a swoon. "Very... hot."

Thanatos blinked once, slowly.

Then twice.

Lian, who had been clinging onto the nearest rock for dear life, could only manage a tired wheeze. "M-My lady, please! Spare me at least my last remaining sanity!"

Zhuxen ignored them both, eyes positively glistening as if the universe had personally answered her prayers.

"This—this divine transformation—" she waved both hands dramatically at him, nearly toppling over. "Is it... some kind of underworld puberty?"

Thanatos tilted his head, his mouth twitching at the corners.

"Actually, it's a side effect of the potion merging with your souls." He leaned in just close enough that Zhuxen forgot what oxygen was. "It allows you to see me as I really am."

Zhuxen's lips parted in awe.

Lian dry-heaved in the background.

Thanatos straightened, utterly enjoying himself. "You're welcome."

Zhuxen nodded slowly, eyes locked on him like he was the last drop of water in a desert.

Then she turned to Lian, gripping her maid's trembling hands.

"Lian... if I don't make it out of Tartarus alive... tell Father and Mother, I'm definitely, extremely, extraordinarily, happy!"

Lian stared at her mistress like she was genuinely considering throwing her straight into the abyss and blaming it on divine intervention.

"I will..." She muttered. "... absolutely not!"

Zhuxen was about to unleash a long-winded argument about why Lian absolutely would tell her father that she'd fallen in love with Death incarnate — but then something caught her eye behind her maid.

Her brows furrowed.

"Wait a minute... does that kid have horns?"

Lian blinked, thinking maybe the potion was finally making her ladyship hallucinate. But when she followed Zhuxen's line of sight — she gasped, slapping both hands over her mouth.

Sure enough, a child was sitting on a rusty swing nearby, casually munching on cotton candy. A perfectly normal child.

Except for the two very large, very sharp antler-like horns curling out from his head like he had just escaped from some nightmare forest.

The kid noticed them staring and gave them a small, polite wave — like it was the most natural thing in the world to be a horned toddler enjoying a sweet treat in the middle of the underworld.

Zhuxen and Lian exchanged horrified glances, both of their brains replaying the exact same sentence at the same time:

"Welcome to Tartarus — the place where the dead and devil live in harmony!"

Thanatos' smug voice echoed in their heads like a cursed advertisement.

Lian's face slowly drained of color, her soul now officially filing for early retirement.

"D-Do you still want to stay here and be definitely, extremely, extraordinarily, happy, my lady?" she whispered through gritted teeth, trying not to faint again.

Zhuxen chewed on her bottom lip, genuinely considering her options — which lasted for a grand total of three seconds before her gaze flicked back to Thanatos.

He was fixing the collar of his black cloak — because apparently, he had decided to upgrade from hot bastard tuxedo to hot bastard evil overlord aesthetic without even warning them.

The way his sharp fingers traced the dark fabric... the effortless flick of his wrist... the slight tilt of his head as his hair tumbled over one shoulder like he'd just stepped out of a tragic love story.

Zhuxen's soul nearly ascended into the afterlife right then and there.

She hadn't even realized the tuxedo had morphed into something darker until now. But ohhhh, was the evil cloak working for her.

It was giving danger.

It was giving bad decisions.

It was giving call me mi amore again and I'll drag you into the abyss myself.

Zhuxen sighed dreamily.

"Yes, I do."

Lian slapped her own face so hard that the horned child flinched on the swing.

"My Lady! Are you out of your mind?! I didn't even realize this is not just any nonsense shit until I woke up from my second collapse. This is literally the realm of the damned!"

Zhuxen's eyes never left Thanatos.

"Exactly."

Lian wheezed. "Exactly what?!"

Zhuxen turned to her with the most serene, lovestruck smile Lian had ever seen in her life.

"I finally found where I belong."

"What the fu—"