My Lady's Unholy Pilgrimage

Zhuxen stood near the spot where the massive gates of Tartarus should have been. Supposedly.

Because the last time she checked — which was approximately five minutes ago — there had been an intimidating, ancient-looking gate behind them. But now?

Absolutely gone. Vanished. Poof. As if the underworld itself had collectively decided that giving tourists an exit was simply bad business practice.

Instead, behind them stretched a bustling marketplace straight out of the ninth circle of capitalism.

Vendors lined the cobbled streets, aggressively waving bone necklaces and actual skeletons at passing customers as if they were selling fresh produce.

One particularly enthusiastic old demon lady was even shoving a tiny skull into someone's hands while yelling, "BUY ONE, GET ONE HUSBAND'S SKULL FREE!"

Zhuxen blinked, absolutely fascinated.

Meanwhile, Lian clutched her chest like she was one bad sight away from meeting death personally — and not in the attractive bastard with flowing hair way her ladyship seemed to be hoping for.

"M-My Lady..." Lian wheezed, barely managing to keep upright. "I-I thought we came here for...for a romantic trip..."

Zhuxen didn't even blink.

"It is romantic, Lian." She dramatically extended her arms as if she were gazing upon the Paris of the underworld. "Can't you feel the ambience? The mystery? The... skeletal merchandise?"

Lian looked around again, taking in the various stalls.

One vendor was selling human-looking masks — realistic to the point of pure nightmare fuel — while horned children lined up to buy them.

The moment the kids slipped the masks over their already disturbing little faces, they immediately began chasing each other around and scaring other horned children like it was some sort of...underworld Halloween.

Further down the street, two creatures — who looked exactly like human grandpas, if human grandpas had horns the size of bicycle handlebars — were aggressively playing mahjong, slamming tiles down like their eternal souls depended on it.

Zhuxen clapped her hands together like a delighted child.

"This place is so lively! Isn't it, Lian?"

Lian's eye twitched violently.

"Lively?!" she croaked, already halfway to a full-blown aneurysm. "We're literally in the underworld! Everyone here is dead!"

Zhuxen smiled serenely. "Exactly. No taxes."

Lian's soul prepared to leave her body again.

She stumbled forward, clutching her forehead like the last thread of sanity was slipping from her grasp. "I... I can't... I don't—"

Then she froze.

Because behind Zhuxen, a horned child was casually skipping by, dragging along what appeared to be a stuffed toy. Except the stuffed toy was actually a severed human toy hand tied to a string. The child made direct eye contact with Lian — giggled — and kept skipping.

Lian's knees buckled. She slowly sank to the ground, eyes glazed. "I-It's just a toy b-but..."

Zhuxen glanced down at her collapsed maid with mild concern, then turned back to admire the underworld's bustling, horrifying little community.

"This place is charming," she declared.

Thanatos, who had been leisurely watching the whole exchange while adjusting his cloak, smirked and leaned against a lamppost — because of course Tartarus had lampposts, flickering faintly with ghostly blue flames like it was trying to imitate a cozy little village.

"See?" he drawled. "I told you Tartarus is full of life."

Lian whimpered on the ground. "Y-You never t-told us that. I-I never even have the slightest idea where on earth—"

"Obviously, this is not on Earth," Thanatos rolled his eyes while Zhuxen batted her lashes at him.

"Well, with you as the tour guide, mi amore, I'd follow you anywhere."

Thanatos opened his mouth — no doubt to say something sarcastic — but was immediately cut off by Lian violently retching into a bush nearby.

A long pause stretched between them.

"She'll adjust," Zhuxen said sweetly, patting Lian's back as she vomited out her remaining will to live. "I've been telling her about you since we were kids, but she never listened and even called me a lunatic. Can you believe that?! Me?! An ethereal heiress of the—"

"She's practically right, tho."

"Oh! You wound me again, my dear Lord Grimrose," Zhuxen dramatically placed the back of her hand on her forehead.

Lian gagged harder.

Zhuxen was about to launch into another dramatic monologue about how she wouldn't mind spending the rest of her miserable, aristocratic life in the underworld if it meant clinging onto Thanatos' evil cloak forever—

When something landed beside Thanatos with a loud THUD!

Zhuxen flinched — not because of the creature’s sudden arrival, but because the sheer radiance of this new being almost burned her retinas on the spot.

He — and yes, the he part was very clear — stood as tall as Thanatos, but where Thanatos was all dark temptation and chaotic bastard energy, this man radiated obnoxious, blinding divine perfection.

Golden hair.

Golden eyes.

Golden eyebrows.

Golden everything.

Even his damn skin was shimmering like he'd been hand-dipped in molten sunlight and buffed to a mirror shine.

Zhuxen immediately squinted and slapped a hand over her eyes.

"Sweet merciful fuck—did someone summon the lost prince of the Sun Kingdom?"

Lian, still half-collapsed on the ground, peeked up weakly — saw the glowing Adonis — then immediately collapsed again with a strangled whimper.

The golden man flicked his hair back — and even that small motion seemed to produce a faint heavenly ding! sound, like tiny angels were personally polishing every strand.

Zhuxen instinctively reached out, trying to grab Thanatos' arm.

"Is that..." she hissed, voice low, "...a walking statue of sin?"

Thanatos' face twisted into a grimace so sour it could curdle milk.

"No." He crossed his arms, glaring daggers at the golden intruder.

"That's Hypnos."

Zhuxen's mouth fell open.

"The Hypnos?"

"The very same." Thanatos' eyes narrowed dangerously. "God of Sleep. Lord of Dreams. Pain in my immortal ass."

Hypnos, completely unfazed, turned towards Zhuxen with the kind of dazzling smile that could probably seduce entire armies and start unnecessary wars.

"Ah, Thanatos." His voice was smooth as honey — the type of voice that belonged in erotic poetry and luxurious wine cellars. "You've brought company. How adorable."

Zhuxen's heart skipped precisely three beats.

Oh no.

He was hot.

Like very hot.

A totally different kind of hot than Thanatos, but still dangerously capable of ruining her life.

And the bastard knew it.

"Lady Zhuxen Mingzhu Song, is it?" Hypnos purred, golden eyes glinting as if he'd just plucked her name straight from her dreams. "A rare beauty in such a dark place."

Zhuxen's entire brain melted into pudding.

Lian — who was still clinging onto a rock for dear life — weakly raised a finger and wheezed, "My Lady... please... don't fall in love with two gods in one day..."

Zhuxen swatted the air. "Hush, Lian. This is for diplomatic purposes."

Hypnos grinned wider — clearly enjoying every second of this disaster.

"Thanatos never mentioned he was escorting such delightful mortals today." His golden gaze flicked towards Thanatos, all smug brotherly torment. "Finally bringing a girlfriend home, brother? Mother will be so pleased."

Thanatos visibly twitched — which was genuinely impressive, considering the God of Death usually maintained the emotional range of a brick wall.

"She's not my girlfriend," he grumbled.

Zhuxen gasped dramatically and clutched her chest like he'd just personally stabbed her in the heart.

"Mi amore! How could you say such cruel things after all we've been through?"

Lian gagged into the bush again.

Hypnos smirked.

Thanatos' eye twitched harder.

Zhuxen slowly turned back to Hypnos, squinting through the blinding gold aura.

"Wait... if you're the God of Sleep..." Her eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Then what the hell are you doing awake?"

Hypnos chuckled, the sound low and velvety — like he'd absolutely been waiting for someone to ask.

"I sleep when I want, darling." He leaned in just enough to make Zhuxen's soul flicker inside he

r body like a candle in a hurricane. "I wake... when something interesting happens."

Zhuxen's breath caught.

Lian was officially praying for a second apocalypse.