Chapter 22: The Diplomacy Summit (That Ren Slept Through)
Ren woke up to the sound of… nothing. It was peaceful. Too peaceful. Suspiciously peaceful.
He squinted one eye open. His Pillow Fortress of Unstoppable Naps felt fluffier than ever the kind of fluffiness that could only be achieved by divine intervention or a particularly generous system update.
Snoozeladon, his oversized, snoring lizard-pillow-pet, drooled happily beside him, puffing little smoke clouds with each breath.
Ren stretched lazily, cracking his neck. "Mmm… productivity achieved."
The system chimed, sounding half smug and half impressed.
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[Passive Ability Activated: Rewarded for Inaction]
[Effect: The longer you stay in bed, the more international diplomacy improves.]
[Bonus Effect: Neighboring kings believe you're orchestrating a galaxy-brained strategy and fight for your approval.]
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Ren blinked at the glowing text. "...Neat."
Just then, Aria stormed in her daily routine, apparently looking like she'd personally strangled three diplomats on the way over. Garth followed behind her with his usual expression of "I'm too tired for this."
"Ren!" Aria barked. "Do you have any idea what's happening outside?"
Ren squinted at her. "Hopefully peace and quiet?"
"No!" Aria looked ready to combust. "The Seven Kingdoms are holding an emergency diplomacy summit. Right now. In your palace. In the throne room. And you weren't there!"
Ren yawned. "Good. That sounds like a 'them' problem."
Garth raised an eyebrow. "You're the host."
"Yeah, but like… are they having snacks? Because if they're not, I'm not interested."
Aria looked like she wanted to flip the bed. "Ren, you can't skip this! The kings are arguing over borders, trade routes, and who gets to claim that weird hot spring on the mountain that smells like cheese."
"Let them figure it out." Ren rolled onto his side, pulling the blanket over his head. "They're grown-ups."
The system chimed again, sounding way too pleased with itself.
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[New Passive Ability Acquired: 'Delegation Domination']
[Effect: The longer you ignore political meetings, the more likely the attendees reach an agreement to impress you.]
[Bonus Effect: Kings suffer -30% arrogance when discussing in your absence.]
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Garth stared at the glowing text. "...How is that even a thing?"
Ren smirked under his blanket. "It's called leadership, buddy."
---
Meanwhile, in the Throne Room…
The rulers of the Seven Kingdoms were shouting at each other.
"I deserve the hot spring! My people need it for health and relaxation!" shouted King Darius, slamming his fist on the table.
Queen Isolde scoffed. "Your people smell bad enough without cheese-scented baths."
"You take that back, Isolde!"
"I will not, you overgrown barrel!"
Just as the argument reached the point of someone considering an "accidental sword throw," the system's influence kicked in.
The room fell silent.
King Alden, the eldest of the rulers, stroked his beard thoughtfully. "Wait a moment… what if this is a test?"
The room went quiet.
Queen Isolde frowned. "A test?"
"Yes." Alden nodded sagely. "King Ren hasn't arrived. He must be watching from the shadows, observing how we handle this."
The other kings exchanged nervous glances.
"By the gods… he's measuring our leadership capabilities," Darius whispered.
"We can't look weak in his eyes!" Queen Isolde panicked.
"Quick someone propose a fair solution!"
Within minutes, they'd drafted an unprecedented peace treaty, divided the hot spring evenly, and even agreed to standardize taxes across all kingdoms.
By the end of the hour, the treaty was signed, and the rulers praised Ren's "genius" leadership for guiding them to unity through his silent wisdom.
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Back in the Pillow Fortress…
Aria was still fuming when the messenger burst into the room, looking bewildered and sweaty.
"Y-Your Majesty!" he gasped. "The diplomacy summit… it's over!"
Ren blinked sleepily. "Wait, they started without me?"
"No they finished without you!" The messenger practically vibrated with excitement. "The kings have agreed to a historic peace treaty! Trade routes are open, taxes are equal, and they all swore loyalty to your kingdom as the 'Supreme Neutral Authority of Wisdom!'"
Ren blinked slowly. "...Did I win a country again?"
The system dinged.
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[Quest Complete: 'Host a Diplomacy Summit (Without Showing Up)']
[Reward: Seven Kingdoms now pay tribute to you.]
[Bonus Reward: Legendary Item "The Pajamas of Eternal Authority" (Increases diplomatic success by 50% while lounging.)]
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Ren stared at his new glowing pajamas. They looked ridiculously comfy.
Aria looked like she might implode.
"You… you unified seven kingdoms… while napping."
Ren smirked, holding up his new pajamas. "I think I earned a nap, don't you?"
Aria's eye twitched. Garth just sighed. "This is my life now."
Ren leaned back into his Pillow Fortress, pulling the legendary pajamas on over his clothes.
"Long live me."
Snoozeladon snored louder.
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