The End

"Riana, I understand how you feel. But I can't promise something I'm not ready for myself," I explained once more, breaking the silence that had settled between us.

Riana sighed, her sharp gaze fixed on me.

"I'm not asking you to marry me right away, Andra. But at least give me some certainty that we're heading in the same direction. I don't want to keep feeling like this—so close yet so far apart. I don't want Luna to feel the same way either."

I lowered my head, my hands clenching tightly for no apparent reason. I knew Riana was right. But after so many relationships that ended in pain, I had vowed never to get seriously involved again. I didn't want to open myself up to the possibility of hurting or being hurt.

"You know I respect you. You're the best woman I've ever met. But I can't. I can't promise you anything. I don't want either of us—or even Luna—to end up hurt because of my selfish decision," I said.

Riana stayed silent for a moment, her eyes glistening. "So, this is your decision?" she asked softly. "You're choosing not to choose me, and in doing so, you're also choosing to never see Luna again?"

I nodded, even though it felt like my heart was being torn apart.

"I don't have a choice, Riana. I don't want Luna to grow up confused. I don't want her wondering why I'm in her life but not fully there. And I don't want to hurt you more than I already have."

Riana closed her eyes, as if holding back tears.

"Fine, Andra. I understand. But remember—this is your choice. And the consequence is that you must be ready to no longer be part of our lives."

I nodded again, this time with a heavy heart. I knew this was the end of something that could have been beautiful—but I didn't have the courage to see it through.

After a moment, I left, walking out of Riana's house with slow, burdened steps. Now, I had lost something precious—not just Riana, but also Luna, the little girl who had filled my days with irreplaceable joy and color.

As I rode my motorcycle home, I stared at the darkening twilight sky. I asked myself, Was this the right decision? But one thing I knew for sure—I didn't want to be the source of pain for the people I loved. Because I simply wasn't ready for a serious relationship with anyone.

But what about Luna? I knew she would look for me, miss me. Was this truly the end of everything?

***

"Guys, I'm sorry. I didn't come back to the studio with you earlier. Turns out that matter was important. Maybe we can jam together again some other time."

The short message I sent to Bastian and Rifky. I hoped they wouldn't be too disappointed in me. That should have been a joyful, unforgettable reunion. Yet once again, a woman had stood between me and being my true self.

I tried to rest in my room, reflecting on everything. But my thoughts were interrupted by the sweet, lovely face of Luna. Honestly, I missed her terribly tonight. I remembered her bright smile when we first met, how we shared stories, cared for each other, and filled each other's lives with love.

The next day, during class, my eyes stared blankly at the whiteboard. The professor's voice, explaining economic theories, sounded distant, as if coming from far away. My mind drifted to Luna. But now, everything felt so far—like a towering wall had risen between us.

Suddenly, the vibration of my phone snapped me out of my thoughts. I pulled it out and saw my mother's name on the screen. But when I answered, it wasn't her voice I heard—it was a small, fragile voice that made my heart ache.

"Andra, why didn't you pick me up today?" Luna's voice was hoarse, as if she had been crying.

My chest tightened.

"Luna, sweetheart, I'm busy with classes. I'm sorry I couldn't pick you up today."

"But you always pick me up after school!" Luna's cries grew louder, deepening my guilt.

"Andra, I miss you. I want to see you now. Why don't you want to see me anymore? Did I do something wrong? Did I make you mad?" Her voice was filled with confusion.

I closed my eyes, trying to suppress the storm of emotions inside me.

"No, Luna. You didn't do anything wrong. You're a good kid. This isn't about you. I just have some things I need to sort out."

"What things? Are you fighting with Mom? She said you don't want to see us anymore. Is that true?" Luna asked innocently.

I let out a long sigh. How could I explain to Luna that Riana wanted more than just a casual relationship? That she wanted serious commitment, while I still felt unprepared? Luna was too young to understand any of this.

"Luna, sweetheart, this isn't about you or your mom. It's about me. I need time. But I promise, I'll always love you, okay?" I said, trying to comfort her.

"But I want to see you now! I'm at Aunt Rose's house. You can come, right? I'll wait for you!" Luna insisted, her voice still hopeful.

I felt my heart breaking. I wanted so badly to hug Luna, to tell her everything would be okay. But if I went now, Riana might be even more disappointed in me—and that would only make things worse.

"Luna, I can't come right now. But I promise, one day we'll see each other again. You believe me, right?" I said, trying to reassure her.

Luna's cries slowly quieted, though she still sounded sad.

"I believe you, Andra. But don't take too long, okay? I miss you."

"I miss you too, Luna. Be a good girl, okay? Always listen to your mom," I said, trying to end the call before my emotions overwhelmed me.

After hanging up, I stood and asked my professor for permission to go to the restroom. Once inside, I leaned against the wall, fighting back the tears threatening to spill.

I had lost an important part of my life. Luna was the light in my darkness—and now, I had to face my days without that light.

I couldn't go on like this. I had to make a decision—either meet Riana's expectations or preserve my bond with Luna. Or should I just be honest with Luna? But if Riana truly wanted to be my wife, and Luna loved me so much that she wouldn't accept anyone else by my side, wouldn't that hurt her? Yet if I didn't decide soon, this would never end.

After class, I called my mother to check if Luna was still there or if Riana had picked her up. She told me Luna was still there, drowning in her sadness. Immediately, I rushed to my motorcycle and sped toward my house.

Along the way, I vaguely remembered what Floryn had once told me—what if Riana and Luna both loved me at the same time? That was where things would get complicated. My mother had also warned me—I couldn't love two people at once. But if that was what I wanted, how long would I have to hide between them?

The images of Luna and Riana, along with those words, blurred my vision as I rode. Then, suddenly, I lost control—I hadn't seen the deep pothole in the road.

My body was thrown far from my bike. People nearby saw me lying weakly in the middle of the road. At first, I could clearly see the crowd gathering around me—until everything faded into darkness.