Mourning Or Marriage!

Shamina, the daughter of the duke, asked with a worried face when I nodded, ignoring the intensity of my thoughts which dragged me into a vortex of emotions.

The death of a fellow warrior still flashed in my mind and it worried me more than the vampire i have forgotten about.

"Yes, we all wanted to give our condolences. You are sacrificing your life to save all of us, we will never forget it." they bowed, strangely, they all were sure that i was going to die.

And though I understand their fear, I felt rage at how they gave up on me so easily.

"Lazan never said that he wanted to kill me. I am going to marry him." As strange as it sounds, I never felt fear when I stood in front of him.

And though his red eyes reeked of blood, it was not mine and it would never be mine.

Their eyes widened and they paused. As if they have never thought about the possibility that he would take me as his wife or I was going to rule with him, they felt at a loss of words and exchanged glances at each other on my question.

"Of.. of course, you are going to live. We only meant we are worried and upset for you, princess." said Kwame, the tactician advisor of my father.

Everyone took their gaze away at once. As if they were afraid that they would upset me and I would refuse the marriage, a marriage that was going to save all of them.

And though it was my choice from the start, I felt strange that all of them sacrificed me so easily. I have never been a good person, but for a second, I thought of abandoning all of them and running away, but the thought left me as soon as it formed.

"Thank you, I am sure that Lazan will give me the right to take over my lands. This way, I will ensure that you will be treated justly and meet no harm." I picked up my glass of alcohol and took a sip of the bitter liquid.

It rolled on my tongue and slowly burnt my inside. The desire to throw the liquid at once filled me but I only took another sip to torment my body.

The pain keeps my strange thoughts away and gives me strength to endure them. Since when have I been this annoyed easily?

My words left many speechless. They opened their mouths a few times but they could not form correct words. While a few jaws clenched and they held their glasses of wine so tightly that I wondered how many of the glasses would break before the breakfast ended.

"The land of vampires is too far." started my distant uncle, he hardly visit us after the death of father or when mother did not allow him to rule after the death of father, "it would not be easy for you to come and fro and it would not be good for our subjects if vampire loom around us every time you visit." he paused to gauge the reaction of everyone on the table.

When no one argued, he continued while meeting my eyes, "it would be better that you give the chance to your mother and your brother in the future. They will live here, they will know our needs better than the wife of a cursed being who could kill all of us on a whim." 

I was not their daughter, their princess anymore, but the wife of a cursed creature. The liquid burnt my body while their words burnt my soul.

"And in the name of god, would you stop taking his name so intimately as if it was love that had bonded two of you together." I flinched when I saw everyone nodding. 

Is that how I sounded, loved and smitten by a demon? I stood up at once when my mother frowned. 

"Evra, sit down." She commanded me and I gritted my teeth. She did not speak when all of them insulted me but now, she wanted me to join them again.

I could not be this kind to those who did not understand my sacrifice.

"I have things to take care of. I wish you would excuse me first." I did not wait for her permission. She had not noticed their eyes, their hostility and their distance from me.

They had already treated me like I was not one of them anymore. 

"Evra" she called again but i did not stop. I heard clinking of glasses, moving forks and I know they have resumed their meal, their conversation, maybe happily that I was gone.

When I returned to my room, I noticed Agatha arranging my clothes in the trunk. It must be for marriage.

I have always dreamt of wearing a beautiful red gown for my marriage but when I walked closer, I was stunned to see only black gowns lying on the bed.

"Agatha!" my voice shook when she turned and smiled at me. A deep painful smile that was full of regrets.

"We did not have the time to design clothes for you. So, your majesty asked the traders to supply all the ready dresses of your size.

I was just arranging them so that I could choose which one you would like to take with you." her voice was soft, soothing as if the black dresses were not mocking me but she had chosen the bright clothes a bride should deserve.

It sounded pitiful or shallow that I cared for clothes when I was going to marry a demon but I still felt hurt by their actions.

"Why… in the name of god will I need black clothes?" I asked, trying my best to hide my disappointment but it still leaked in my voice and she must have felt it.

Her eyes went concerned as she held my hands and hugged me.

"Do you not understand, my child? You will need black dresses for the mourning of your husband."