Episode 20: The Bard and the Hypnotic Flute

The shop was unusually quiet — well, as quiet as it could be with the door still missing. Felix was halfway through enchanting a self-heating teapot when a sudden, overly enthusiastic voice echoed from outside.

"Good morrow, humble purveyors of mystical wares!"

Felix winced. "Oh gods, it's a bard."

Sure enough, a young man strutted in, wearing a feathered hat so large it deserved its own weather forecast. His shirt was bright red with sleeves so puffy they looked like they were trying to escape his arms. A lute was slung over his back, and his grin was as obnoxiously wide as his confidence.

"Greetings!" the bard declared, bowing with a flourish. "I am Theophilus Dandelion, Bard Extraordinaire, Romantic Visionary, and Hero of the Commonfolk!"

Zira squinted at him. "Did you just… give yourself three titles in one sentence?"

Theophilus winked. "I've got more if you've got time."

Felix sighed. "What do you want?"

Theophilus leaned dramatically on the counter. "Ah, you see — my music moves hearts, but I wish to move souls! I desire an instrument so powerful that audiences cannot look away! A flute — enchanted, hypnotic, irresistible!"

Zira tilted her head. "You want… a magic flute that forces people to listen to you?"

Theophilus nodded so fast his hat nearly flew off. "Yes! My ballads will become legendary! Every tavern, every castle, every town square — they'll hang on my every note!"

Felix scratched his chin. "A flute that captivates the audience, huh? Alright, I think I can make that happen."

---

Thirty Minutes Later…

Felix handed over a sleek, silver flute. It shimmered faintly with enchantment.

"This flute," Felix explained, "will hold your audience spellbound. They won't be able to look away or stop listening until you stop playing."

Theophilus's eyes sparkled. "Perfect!" He tossed a few gold coins on the counter — plus a signed portrait of himself — and ran out the doorless doorway.

Felix stared at the portrait. "Did… did he think we wanted this?"

Zira smirked. "Well, it'll make a nice dartboard."

---

One Hour Later…

The sound of frantic footsteps echoed from the street. Moments later, Theophilus stumbled back into the shop, gasping for air. His clothes were torn, his hat missing, and his face looked like he'd been chased by an angry mob.

"HELP!" he wheezed. "IT WORKS TOO WELL!"

Felix leaned on the counter. "Let me guess — they wouldn't stop listening?"

"They wouldn't stop FOLLOWING!" Theophilus cried. "I played one song in the town square — ONE SONG — and now they won't leave me alone! They're still coming! Old ladies! Children! One guy brought his dog!"

Zira blinked. "The dog too?"

"It was tap dancing!" Theophilus shouted, voice cracking.

Felix tried — and failed — to suppress a laugh. "Alright, calm down. Let me see the flute."

Theophilus shakily handed it over. Felix inspected it. "Looks like the enchantment worked… a little too well. It doesn't just hold attention — it forces anyone who hears it to follow you."

Theophilus threw his hands up. "You turned me into a pied piper!"

Zira grinned. "On the bright side, at least you'll never have to advertise your gigs."

Theophilus groaned. "Please, just fix it before they find me!"

Felix sighed, tapping the flute with a glowing finger. The enchantment flickered, dimmed, then settled into a gentler glow.

"There," Felix said. "Now the flute will hold attention — but they won't follow you like lovesick puppies afterward."

Theophilus sagged with relief. "Oh, thank you!"

Zira smirked. "You should probably leave through the back door. Pretty sure half the town's still looking for you."

Theophilus froze. "Wait — you have a back door?"

Felix shook his head. "Nope. Just wanted to see how fast you'd run."

Theophilus stared for a moment — then sprinted out the front, flailing.

Zira watched him go. "…Five silver says he gets mobbed again anyway."

Felix chuckled. "I'm not betting against that."