Episode 36: The Time-Traveling Calendar (No Mondays Included)

The bell chimed again, and this time, Felix barely looked up from his latest half-finished project — a self-tying shoelace that refused to stop tying itself into progressively more inappropriate shapes.

The customer who walked in was an older man, dressed in a suit that looked like it had been fashionable several decades ago — tweed jacket, bowtie, and an impressive mustache that curled like it was trying to escape his face. He walked up to the counter, carrying an old leather-bound planner.

"Afternoon. I need a calendar," the man said briskly.

Felix glanced at Zira, who was lounging near the window, absentmindedly practicing smoke rings with a minor illusion spell.

"We've got plenty of calendars," Felix replied. "Wall calendars, desk calendars, one that screams at you if you miss a deadline—"

The man cut him off with a wave. "No, no. I need a Time-Traveling Calendar. One that lets me go back to any day I choose. But," he leaned in, voice deadly serious, "it must guarantee that I never land on a Monday. Ever."

Felix blinked slowly. "...You want a calendar that avoids Mondays?"

"Yes," the man said with a grim nod. "Mondays are evil. They ruined my life. I refuse to relive another one."

Zira burst out laughing from the corner. "What did Monday do to you? Steal your wallet? Break up your marriage?"

The man's face darkened. "Monday fired me. Monday repossessed my horse. Monday cursed my garden. And Monday—" his voice wavered, "—spoiled the finale of my favorite show."

Zira stopped laughing. "Okay, that last one is unforgivable."

Felix scratched his head. "Right. Time-traveling calendar, no Mondays. Got it. But you realize avoiding Mondays might mess with, well... time, right? You could end up skipping a whole week."

"That's a risk I'm willing to take."

Felix sighed and got to work.

---

One Questionable Hour Later…

The calendar was done — a sleek leather-bound book with a glowing date selector. Felix had even added a "Monday Detection Charm" that automatically redirected the traveler to the closest non-Monday.

Felix slid it across the counter. "Here you go. Time-traveling, no Mondays included. But, uh… there's a small side effect."

The man's eyes narrowed. "Side effect?"

Felix coughed awkwardly. "If you try to pick a Monday by accident, it redirects you to the nearest Friday instead. Turns out the spell really hates Mondays too."

The man blinked, then grinned. "So I'll either land on a Friday or never deal with Monday again?"

Felix nodded. "Pretty much."

The man laughed triumphantly, clutching the calendar like it was a holy relic. "You, sir, are a genius. Monday can rot without me." He turned on his heel and strode out the door, already flipping through the dates.

Zira watched him leave, shaking her head. "You realize he's probably going to get stuck in an endless loop of Fridays now, right?"

Felix shrugged. "Honestly? Sounds like a decent life."

They both sat in silence for a moment, imagining an endless parade of Fridays.

"...You think he'll figure out that skipping Mondays doesn't stop Tuesday from existing?" Zira asked, smirking.

Felix snorted. "Not my problem anymore."