Chapter 19

Chapter 19 :

Anika's POV

I felt the ground beneath my feet sliping away as I stood there, frozen in place. Time seemed to stretch, each tick of clock echoing in the stillness yet every moment felt like an eternity of unseen torture. The air around me thickened, making it hard to think, hard to breathe.

I had known I'd face this moment but I wasn't prepared for the reality of it. The fact that Dhruv and I are under the same roof was already a burden to me, and now, seeing him lying lifeless infront of me was hard to comprehend.

It was as if my mind was rebelling against the truth, refusing to accept the sight infront of me.

Panic surged within and I couldn't perceive what I should do. I wanted to scream, cry and run away very far. Fear gripped me, a cold, suffocating sensation that made my heart race and thoughts scatter.

The destruction I had caused finally laid bare infront of me today.

Dhruv lay there, his soul seemingly trapped within his lifeless body, a maze of wire connected to him that pulsed with cold, mechanical life. The sound of the machines beeping pierced through the melancholic silence in the room. Each beep felt like a cruel taunt, reminding me of everything I've lost.

My heart violently hammered in my chest, a frantic rhythm that matched the chaos in my mind. My body shook slightly, my limbs feeling heavy and unresponsive, making it hard for me to breathe.

I was caught in a whirlwind of emotions- grief, guilt and a profound sense of helplessness. I wanted to reach out, touch him, somehow bring him back to life, but I knew it was impossible.

"How does it feel to see your past in front of you, baby?", his sudden whisper echoed in my ear, followed by a deep exhale.

His hot breaths erupted waves of goosebumps all over my body as I exhaled sharply.

My eyes held onto those unshed tears while my nails dug into the skin. The inner turmoil to give in to his seductive relieving touch, as an escape from the cruel reality, while my heart denied to step into his trap messed me up more than I already am. My thorat ached and I somewhere knew, he must be smirking right now.

I tried to turn around but his firm grip around me never let me move. His chest pressed against my back, his warm breaths fanned over my nape as I tired to breathe.

"P-please leave me Arnav, please. I don't w-want to see this", I pleased shedding the tears I was holding onto.

It hurts. It damn hurts me.

"Why, doll? This is your doing only. Can't bear?", he spoke pouring out the venom he had been keeping to himself.

I shook my head. This is beyond bearable.

As I chocked on my tears, I tried to wriggle free from his grip.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I-I am sorry. Please leave me", I pleaded.

"Why? Where's that strong and fierce Dr. Anika Roy Chowdhury who's scared of nothing? Why are you struggling to get free? Are you backing away from the truth you wrote?", he taunted as his tone turned heavier with anger.

I knew he was deliberately pressing the button but I could care less. All I wanted was to escape for a while because at the end, destiny would drag me back.

I felt his grip loosening.

"Stay there", he demanded and I obliged.

I stood there, unmoved.

Standing beside me, he spoke slicing the uncomfortable silence, "You didn't answer. How does it feel to see him again?"

The monotone he used hid the anger bubbling inside him. I knew he won't do anything infront of his brother, even if he's unconscious.

I remained silent feeling more hot tears streaming down my face.

"You ruined everything. His happiness to his life. He'd have been living the life he had worked for, today, only if he hadn't met you. He's is the second most precious part of our family, after Aisha. He only wanted to love, feel loved but all he got was betrayal, pain and...a death bed. Didn't you feel the slightest regret after ruining him like that? You seemed so happy and content the first time I saw you", he spoke calmly but the mockery didn't stay hidden.

My body shook harder as my hands turned cold. I wanted to answer but at the moment, I felt like dying.

This is too much for me to handle. If I continue to stay here, I'd die.

Looking at his blank face, I whispered, "Let me go for now, please. Torture me later on but I need to...breathe. I-I can't...breathe."

It felt so hard to plead to him, to my destructor but I had to. I need to survive to clear the mess I had spread.

I wanted to die but I'm too coward to press the knife on my wrist or drink down the poison.

Life has already been hard to me but now, it's getting harder to even breathe.

"No. You have to face what I show you. Afterall, it's my first gift to you after our marriage", he spoke with a dry chuckle. He's mocking my vulnerability. He's mocking my existence but I can't do anything. How would I contradict him when he's spitting the truth?

"I know I did this. But...", I didn't know what to speak further.

I remained stuck to my place with my lips sealed. My heart clenched in my chest seeing Dhruv half dead. He wanted to live, love and enjoy- with me, for me and for us.

He had so many dreams written in his personal diary he had shown me one day.

Now, it feels too wrong to even think about those beautiful memories. Those memories now haunts me like a nightmare. Now, being married to his brother, it feels too wrong to even think about the 'us' that existed once upon a time.

Would he hate me more when he wakes up? When would he wake up? Would he hate me now seeing me married to his brother? Would he even... remember me?

"Just let me go for now. Punish me later but it-it feels too suffocating right now", I spoke in my broken voice facing him as more tears streamed down my cheeks.

He remained silent.

Moments later, he turned to face me as he tightly gripped onto my arms, "I had promised him to give you the same pain that you gave him. Within one year, I need to fulfill this promise. And no matter how much you beg, I'll do what I want to you", he spoke, his sharp gaze fixed to my teary one.

"You fucking ruined everything. Do you even know how much pain maa and papa goes through when they have to see him like this everyday? Aisha is the closest to him and now, she has to see him like this. Do you know how she feels at such a young age? People never lied. You're really a bad omen. You put him on death bed in return for his love, you ruined a family's happiness, you killed your parents. You really...", he kept on accusing me and I kept listening. But he crossed his line the moment he blamed me for my parent's death.

How could he so easily say something like that?

I couldn't control myself and threw a sharp slap on his cheek. My hand stung at the sudden force but the sound, it echoed in the whole room as his head was turned to the other side.

The fire of hatred for him burnt in my chest.

"How could you say that? How dare you?", I yelled.

"Don't yell. I'm warning you Mrs. Rai Mehrotra", he spoke facing me with a glare.

"I will yell. Who the fuck are you to blame me for my parent's death?", I yelled back. I couldn't think about anything or anyone else right now but the pain of accusation felt too much.

He lunged towards me and even before I knew, he had wrapped one arm around my waist and the other one held my jaw with enough force for me to hiss.

"I.am.your.husband. Got that doll? You belong to me. Your body, your mind, your thoughts, your life, your past and present belongs to me. You.belong.to.me. The sooner you get that in your head, the better for you. And why wouldn't I blame you? Didn't your parents die because of you? How will you contradict this? How, doll, how?", he spat his venomous words on my face.

I didn't reply, simply stared at his face. My eyes burnt because of the tears gathering there as my heart ached at his words.

I felt my body shaking remembering everything that I dreaded. Those days had taken my sleep away. Extreme panic attacks had never left my side. And now, he has opened those unhealed wounds.

I fear of collapsing in his arms, for, he'd call me weak.

Moments of silence passed yet the tension lingering between us heated up the moments passing by. His eyes threw daggers at me as I glared back.

My hands were on his busts just to have some distance between us.

"Let me go", I gritted, fear building inside me as I felt suffocation taking control over me. My body was turning cold as I started trembling.

How can I be so vulnerable?

"Why? Are you scared to face the truth? Are you running away from the truth that you gave hopes to my brother during those three years only to crush them later on? Is it hard to realise that he still wanted the best for you and ran after you to sort out everything when you were the one to mess up? Is it painful to think that he might take his last breath anytime soon? You know, he has been lying like that for over four years. No response, nothing. You've killed him. Even if he wakes up, he might never recognise us. He might go back to coma and never return, he might d-",

"No. No please s-stop. P-please", I whispered gasping for air.

Confusion etched on his face as he stared at me.

As he released me, I stumbled back gasping for breath as waves of panic surged over me. My body burnt with the effort to take air, but it was as if oxygen were out of reach, teasing me cruelly. I scratched my neck, the only irritation amplifying my distress, but nothing seemed to help.

Tears streamed down my face blurring my vision, while my head spun in an unsettling whirl.

Desperately, I reached out for something to hold onto, but it felt as though my the strength was draining away. My legs wobbled beneath as if struggling to bear my weight as the world rotated faster and faster. The burning sensation spread in my body like a wildfire, an all-consuming heat that left me disoriented and terrified.

Just as I felt myself falling down, a last ditch instinct took over me. I braced myself for the impact but before I could close my eyes and succumb to the overwhelming darkness, I felt a firm grip pulling me up. The next moment, I finally embraced the growing darkness.

•

Arnav's POV

"Sir, Mrs. Rai Mehrotra is all fine now. It was a panic attack and it wasn't extreme, for now. Please keep a note of the things or topics that triggers her and try avoiding them. This is most likely because of some trauma. I've prescribed some basic medications along with ones which are to be given only during extreme situations. I'll take my leave now", the doctor spoke as she handed me the prescription sheet.

I nodded at her and asked Ren to escort her to the gate.

Handing over the sheet to one of my men, I walked over to her unconscious figure.

As I sat down on the chair placed beside the bed, my mind went back to the incident.

Did I speak something I shouldn't have? But it was the truth.

I was feeling too annoyed and frustrated seeing her knowing what she had done to Dhruv. I couldn't control my rage seeing her with him under the same roof so I lashed out.

Being soft to her isn't possible because a mastermind like her doesn't deserve anything like that.

But seeing her panicking all of a sudden gave me a feeling of uneasiness. Maybe it was guilt.

I shouldn't feel guilty because we both knew it was the truth. Then why?

Why did she panic like that?

The moment I had caught her in my arms, it felt different. The hatred I had for her subsided for a while.

That tear stained face, those wet lashes and those swollen lips- they just looked ethereal on her. She possesses beauty that's not so extraordinary but simply beautiful.

If it's not about her intimidating nature, any man out there would fall in love with her. She has the power to bring a man on his knees.

But fate had to bring us together.

Had she never committed that sin, both of us would've been happy.

"Keep her safe", Dhruv spoke, gasping for air, his face full of blood. The next moment he closed his eyes.

This memory still haunts me. It's enough to bring back my hatred for her. I despise her so much that she can't even imagine the extent I can go to destroy her, regardless of the vulnerabilities she hides.

Even after the betrayal, Dhruv still held that soft spot for her. He still wished for her safety not caring about the fact that he was on the verge of death.

But I'm Arnav, another name for ocean, a destroyer.

Let's see how my dear wife survives the consequences of her sins.

It's frustrating me because of the messed up emotions stirring inside me. I don't know whether it's guilt, anger, hatred or pain.

I know where my deeds would lead me to. I know I'm calling for my own destruction at the end. It'll be me in the dungeon to rot for the rest of my life after misbehaving with my wife.

Life, it's just as complicated as a book. It's just so simple to see from outside but as one digs inside, they uncover the darkest truths hidden between the lines, beneath the pages. Those simple words can ruin one's life easily, without actually doing anything in reality.

Being the eldest child in Rai Mehrotra's present generation, I never knew what comfort was, or love was. Parents being a professional couple, barely bothered spending their time on me and the time they realised, it was too late. I had turned into a shell- hard from outside, empty from inside. The void of comfort in my darkest moments rendered me emotionless.

But then entered my life—Arshi.

It was the very first day of my college when I saw her— clad in a red corset top and beige loose trousers. She kept tucking those loose cherry red strands behind her ears, that had escaped from her low ponytail. Those beige butterfly earrings swayed in a rhythm as she walked up the stairs in the chemistry gallery, her eyes fixated on me.

I kept staring at her without a blink and the moment she settled down beside me, but my heart didn't react at all.

"Hi, I'm Arshi", she spoke forwarding her hand to me. Slipping my palm over her, I shook it with a mild smile. I never knew I could smile too.

"I'm Arnav", I introduced myself.

"Nice to meet you Arnav. It's surprising to have my first friend in UK an Indian. Hope we get along", she spoke still smiling at me.

She carried a warm aura and the charm was undeniably bright. Her charisma is visibly strong, and I can feel it.

Over time, we grew closer and I never knew when I had let my guards down, letting her melt me with her heat. Being in Oxford wasn't easy, but she seemed to make things easier. It was always her who planned outings with our other few friends and whatever she could, she did.

From friends to bestfriends, we grew up together till we were in the last year in uni.

As time passed, I realised that she had caught feelings for me. She grew attached to me more than she should've been. Her gaze never held that friendly mischief she had during the early years, but was replaced by romantic softness. She cared for me not as a friend, but as her crush.

She was never possessive or obsessive, but never was a shy and timid woman too. Finally after we graduated, she had confessed to me.

I neither accepted nor denied. For the very first time I didn't have the heart to hurt someone who wasn't my family. I wasn't ready to hurt her and she wasn't ready to move on.

So at the end, we named our relation 'friends with benefits'. Maybe that's what we were.

We'd often reach out for each other to get our desires fulfilled— I did because I never wanted to hurt her and she did because she called it 'her love'. But things never got complicated.

Like that we continued and soon I started my law firm but she opted for fashion designing and had to move away to New York. But still we never lost contact. We'd meet up on holidays and have our 'sensual time'.

I didn't know what existed between us— pity, lust or obsession. Love actually never existed or maybe I didn't see it. She claimed to love me and I let her be.

Soon we were successful but life consumed us and we finally lost contact.

After five years we met in India and our families started pressuring me to get married. I wasn't ready to get married to any girl whom I never knew or saw. So my only option was Arshi.

On the other side, she willed to marry me because she still claimed to love me like she used to before.

For a time being, Arshi and I decided to date each other moving on from our 'friends with benefits' relationship. She was beyond happy to do that. As we started dating, she turned a little possessive towards me but I let it slip considering it's normal for every boyfriend.

We dated for five years and finally decided to tie knots. I didn't know if I loved her but she'd always tell me, "You love Arshi. Arnav and Arshi loves each other." I believed her because my mind never spoke anything on it. I believed that I loved her.

With our families' consent, we were all set to get married when the actual storm arrived— Dr. Anika Roy Chowdhury, now my wife.

Arshi was hurt, too hurt to even confront me. We had an argument because according to her I cheated on her. I convinced her that I didn't cheat and it was some business matter to sort out.

She cried that night and being unable to hurt her more, I ended up promising to marry her after one year of my and Anika's marriage. The revenge thing remained unknown to Arshi. I put up the pretext that it's just for some business matter between Anika's and my family and to clear things up, he needed to tie knots. This marriage would remain private. She agreed.

And now here I am, married to Dr. Anika Roy Chowdhury.

I still don't feel anything inside me fro Arshi or maybe even if I do, I never realised.

I love Arshi. Arshi and Arnav loves each other— I still repeat these words. Maybe I do love her. Maybe she's right. We still love each other.

I don't know anything. I'm so confused and this confusion is eating me from inside. But I know one thing— this marriage is based on just revenge and would be over within one year. Then I'll be free and will get married to Arshi, as per my promise.