Chapter 20

Chapter 20 :

14 June, Friday, 2024

5:00 a.m.

Author's POV

It was a normal morning again. But in Rai Mehrotra's mansion, it was a morning full of hustle and bustle. Everyone being in their usual nature, carried out the morning events accordingly.

Neha Rai Mehrotra, being the most enthusiastic woman in the family, kept herself busy in instructing the servents to take extra care of Anika during her pehli rasoi. Radha, Arnav's chachi, being helpless, had to hold out a helping hand for the preparations for Anika's pehli rasoi.

Hema Rai Mehrotra, Arnav's grandma, kept herself busy in her professional works, her disappointment for her grandson's bride still lingering on her face. Achyut, her husband, sat in the main hall along with his two sons, reading newspaper, managing office works and going through the guest list for reception, respectively.

The children of the house had busied themselves in their own works.

"Hasn't your daughter-in-law woken up till now?", asked Hema to Neha, who placed the cup of tea infront of Hema.

"She slept late maa. So it's fine and it's just 5", she replied with a smile.

"Don't spoil her or else she's gonna break this family", Hema spoke bitterly, glaring at the first floor.

Neha didn't reply but nodded and left.

.

The silence in the room enveloped Anika like a warm blanket as she slept peacefully, still clad in her lehenga.

Her slow and steady breaths were in a rhythm with the cool air of the AC brushing gently past her face. The serene on her face held painted a stark contrast with the chaos she had been part of few hours ago.

Out of blue, her tranquil slumber was interrupted; her breaths hitched as she jolted awake, eyes wide in alarm . In her shock, she opened her mouth, desperately trying to catch her breath.

It took few moments to fully comprehend what had just happened, her heart racing as reality began to settle in.

•

Anika's POV

I was startled. The sudden wave of coldness washing over me, as if drenching me in it took my breaths away. I was unable to realise what suddenly happened to put me in shock.

As I tried to grip onto reality, I felt my face and the upper body wet. Water dripped down my face soaking my already wet blouse and the lehenga skirt.

Frowning, I touched my face to confirm if was actually wet or it was some lucid dream. Once the cold wetness was felt under my fingertips, I knew I was drenched and not in any dream.

Looking at my side I spotted my husband; donned in deep grey Armani suit and black shirt. His hair pushed back and mullets tied up. One hand was tucked in his pocket while the other held a half empty glass jar.

It dawned upon me that it was him who threw water on my face.

I looked up at his blank eyes who kept glaring at me.

"Why would you do that?", I asked slowly, still grappling with the reality.

"You're married in the Rai Mehrotra family. And it's your pehli rasoi today. Shall I get you ready now?", he mocked.

It did irritate me but didn't hurt.

Why would it hurt? Everyday, he finds reasons to hurt me and there's no softness in me for him to get hurt by his rudeness.

Not wanting to argue right now, I nodded without uttering anything before getting down the bed and walked towards the bathroom.

Turning the knob, I stepped inside the bathroom. The cold feeling of the wet bathroom floor tickled my feet as I finally locked the door behind.

The space was wide as expected. Lavishly designed with modern style tools and bathroom essentials in golden. A glass shower cubicle stood stationarily near me, and all the walls were in matte black. Few artificial plants stood in the corners, a sweet fragrance filled the air. A wide white bathtub stood adjacent to the cubicle, black marble steps ascending to it. LED's fixed to the roof illuminated the bathtub's edges making it shine in a glassy glow.

Everything was according to the taste he had and the aura he owned.

Without much botheration, I took off the blouse, followed by the lehenga skirt. Maybe I had left the chunri back on the bed.

As I stood infront of the mirror, just in my black undergarments, I realised there was no jewellery on me.

Panic took over me as I turned around to search for them. But even before I took a step ahead, towards the lehenga lying on the floor, blurry memories flashed infront of me.

From them, all I remembered was that I had fainted, panicking, after his surprise gift on our first night. He didn't even hesitate before pulling up something so triggering. He for sure knows about it but still did it.

Another reason to hate him more.

Guilt took over me remembering Dhruv's face. I saw him yesterday night for the very first time after I left him. The lively face had no glow, but it was all pale. The smile was long gone, with my leave from his life. Those beeping machines pierced my heart even more, silently blaming me for his condition. Everything was supposed to be something else, but a single mistake of mine ruined it all.

A trust of once ruined me all.

I don't know for whom I should mourn- Dhruv, for lying lifeless because of me, or my parents, who died because of me?

Or should I pity myself for being so vulnerable infront of Arnav?

The ache in my heart consumed me, my chest tightening with realization.

I'm not pure, and what if he gets to know about it? Arnav would find another reason to taint my already strained reputation in his eyes.

What if he starts calling me those names?

What if he shames me?

What if he-tells the world about my reality?

Waves of panic washed over me once again but before I again collapsed, I rubbed my right palm over my chest, soothing the tightness.

"Breath in, breathe out. Do it again. Yeah like that. You're my strong girl, okay? You're my woman"

He used to calm me down like that whenever I was triggered by something that panicked me.

I was his girl, his woman, his...love.

But it's in past tense.

I sighed before walking over to the bathtub and slipping inside it.

As the cold water reached till my neck, I closed my eyes, resting my hands on the egde, as I let the coldness seep inside me, filling the void of everything. For now, the guilt reduced, providing me peace for a fleeting moment.

I'm finally done with my bath. But I soon realised that I didn't bring any clothes to wear, when I searched for something to get changed into.

Frustration gripped my head as I mumbled some profanities under my breath, before walking over to the bathroom door. Turning the knob, I opened it slightly, enough to peak my head out.

The room was empty. He's not here then.

Sighing in relief, I wrapped the towel around my body tightly before walking out, making my way towards the walk-in closet.

Sliding the door of the closet, I stepped inside.

The room was predominantly in black, accentuated by wine red, and the ceiling lights bathed the space in a soft glow. A faint smell of cologne filled the air, soothing, as I took slow, deliberate breaths.

To my right, hung his clothes behind the glass sliding doors, while my own were nearly arranged on my left side. With him absent, I decided to explore the closet directly infront of me.

As I slid open its door, a dazzling aray of wristwatchs sparkled under the lights inside the closet.

On the top shelf rested cologne bottles and neatly arranged ties, while the second shelf showcased the watches. The bottom shelf housed several pairs of polished shoes, each one gleaming invitingly.

Beside his closet stood mine, a bit wider than his, its first shelf filled with collection of bags, including several new editions. On the second shelf, my watches were displayed-some brand-new and some keepsakes. The third shelf was dedicated to my collection of fragrances, each bottle offering a unique scent. The lower three shelves overflowed with an assortment of heels, sandals and casual shoes.

A separate moderate closet stood beside mine, showcasing several pairs of jewelleries of different metals, stones, beads and pearls, some I owned and some new.

No matter how much I requested maa not to buy me anything, her kindness overpowered.

Closing the closets, I moved towards my clothing closet before opting for a peach colored saree with a half sleeve blouse. I matched my outfit with a set of simple diamond studs. The nuptial chain was enough for a necklace, three pairs of diamond bangles replaced the chooras.

Those red bangles hold a special significance in a married woman's life but to me, it's meaningless.

Placing the chooras in a glass box, I placed it inside my jewelry closet.

Spraying some perfume, I walked outside while drying my hair with a towel.

As I sat infront of the vanity, my hair partition caught my attention.

It's empty, just how the hollow marriage he and I had and those baseless promises. No matter how much I hate his authority on me, how bad I want to oppose his dominance, it's just useless. I have neither the will nor the energy to fight for myself, all over again.

Ignoring the stinging sensation in my heart, I filled my hair partition with vermillion, in Arnav's name which was meant to be in Dhruv's name.

No, I shouldn't think about him anymore. It's not about loyalty to my husband, but about the respect for the pure relationship that existed between me and Dhruv, once.

Blow drying my hair, I half tied it before fixing a bindi on my glabella. Putting on some pink mute lipstick, I stood up to fix my saree. As I felt myself ready to go out, I put the towel in the laundry basket before heading downstairs.

Even before my marriage with Arnav, I was asked my maa not to feel stressed about roaming in the house with my face hidden under the pallu. She told me I had free of choice to wear whatever I wanted but because of the presence of dadi ji and dada ji along with papa and chacha, I decided to wear saree for the few days till Arnav and I are here in Jaipur.

As I stepped down the last stair, I inhaled a deep breath, getting myself ready to face whatever awaited for me.

Stepping inside the main hall, I pulled the pallu over my head before standing infront of dada ji, "Dada ji", I called him out.

Looking up from the newspaper he smiled at me. Folding the paper, he took off his glasses before smiling back, "Aree meri pyari beti, good morning."

(Oh my dear daughter, good morning)

I bent down before taking his blessings, as I casted a quick side galce to dadi ji who sat blankly staring at the screen of the tab in her hands.

Touching his feet, I put my hand on my chest as I spoke, "Aashirvad dijiye dada ji", before sliding the same hand over my head as a gesture to take his blessings.

He caressed my head as he spoke with a smile, "Sada khush, suhagan aur safal raho."

(Stay happy, married and successful always)

I stood up with a smile before standing infront of dadi ji.

As I bent down, I touched her feet before speaking, "Dadi ji, it's my first day here today. Please don't be angry and bless me", I requested.

Sliding back her feet, she stayed silent.

No matter if I wasn't close to her, an elder's disappointment in me always hurt me, even if I wasn't at fault. I felt my heart clenching but I can't do anything.

Nodding slowly, I walked over to papa and chachu to take their blessings, who happily offered me. I couldn't spot chachi.

As I moved towards the kitchen, I heard maa instructing something to the servants.

"Maa", I called her out before bending and taking her blessings.

"Sada sukhi, suhagan aur safal raho", she spoke pulling me up by my arms with care.

"How're you today? Are you fine? Is it comfortable a little bit more today?", she asked, concern lingering on her face.

Here she's concerned about me and there her son woke me up by throwing water on me.

I nodded helplessly, "Yes maa I am. I had a nice sleep and I'm trying to get comfortable."

I nodded with a smile.

"I saw maa ji denying you blessings. Please don't be upset. She's a bit angry but she'll get back to normal soon", she tried assuring me.

"I know maa. It's fine. I'll wait till she finally accepts me", I replied. "Okay now you go and sit outside and let me cook. But before that, where's the pooja ghar?"

"Come I'll take you there", she spoke as we both walked out of the kitchen.

The area before us, a lush expanse of green carpet grass that seemed irresistibly soft. The fresh, earthy smell it exuded filled the air, creating a refreshing atmosphere. Moderate trees lined the sides, offering a welcoming shade and an elegant white sofa set was nestled beneath one of them. Lining the edge of the wooden floor of the verandah at the back of the mansion were bushes of white Japanese chrysanthemums, their delicate blooms swaying gently with the breeze.

Various species of flowers punctuated the garden, some releasing sweet fragrances that brought a fleeting sense of peace to my heart.

As maa and I stepped outside the verandah, we strolled across white marble tiles that formed a path towards the magnificent temple standing gloriously infront of us. The beauty of this place of worship left me in awe. It was stunning, framed by white lotuses that bloomed gracefully around the temple. A serene pool of water surrounded the temple area, where the lotuses floated peacefully.

As we approached the small wooden bridge spanning the water, connecting the temple to the land, my admiration deepened. On either side of the polished brown doors of the temple stood two elegant copper tubs, each cradling beautifully bloomed red lotuses. Their vibrant color created a starking contrast against the pristine white of the temple.

Always being an admirer of temples, the sight of this temple brought me a sense of joy. I smiled wider, despite the unwelcomed morning greeting from my husband, I walked ahead with the pallu over my head.

As we stopped infront of the steps, maa spoke, "I saw how happy you seemed getting the sight of the temple. What made you so happy?", her smile still there, full of warmness.

I smiled back, "It's something I admire the most. Here lies my second home, where my only healer resides. My only hope and believe resides in him, Lord Krishna. Worshiping God gives me peace. I wasn't and still am not a total devotee but I try my best to give him everything I have.

In this world full of people in a façade of being kind, here stays the actual one who's kind. We all get tired of getting hurt by the ones we once believed in and loved.

So as an escape, we search for someone who's truly reliable and trustworthy, even if we don't know they exist or not. I happened to be one of them. I just lost hope after my parents died and at that time, Krishna ji always listened to me.

Taking it as the only hope in my darkest hours, I devoted myself to him. I don't know if he's listening to me or not, or even if he exists, but my heartbeats never let me believe something negative about him.

We humans, make up some stories about some people with so many supernatural powers, whom we consider as Gods, so that we can find the peace we desire. Some do that for their selfish needs and some, just devote themselves to their idols.

I just happened to believe this and I myself don't know if I'm wrong or not", I replied staring at the closed doors of the temple.

"Dear, your thoughts are something not everyone has. In this world of desires, greed, envy and lust, you chose to believe in him. You chose a path which people rarely choose over materialistic things. No you aren't worng. Believing in God isn't wrong. Just know that whichever path you're walking on, was made by him because he wants the best for you, hm?", she spoke, assurance full in her tone.

Yes, she can't replace my mother. But she's the angel my mother sent in my life, even after what I did to her son.

I'm more than thankful for her presence in my life because she's the motherly figure every daughter-in-law wants but rarely gets. I'll proudly calm myself beyond lucky to have her.

I don't know how she'll react when she'll get to know about my past. I don't know how much she'll hate me. I don't know anything. It's hurting me thinking about seeing her hurt face when she'll get to know about everything one day.

Shrugging those negative thoughts away, I nodded at her with a smile before we both touched the first step of the temple prior to rubbing the same hand over our heads, as a gesture of taking blessings.

Maa opened the door and my heart skipped a beat.

The interior of the temple was so breathtaking that mere words seemed inadequate to describe its beauty. I also have a temple in my mansion in Paris, but this place felt something out of a dream. The main worship area, where the deities were gracefully enshrined, was exquisitely designed, featuring elegant lighting and graceful curves adorning the walls.

A large bell hung from the ceiling majestically, flanked by two smaller bells on either side, creating a harmonious visual balance. Soft beige cushions were arranged beside a long and short white cabinet. Atop it sat a lovely beige flower vessel, filled with delicate pink cherry blossoms that added a touch of elegance to the space. A few decorative pieces adorned the cabinet top.

LED lights fixed to the ceiling illuminated the room beautifully, while two large windows on either side remained opened, inviting natural light and offering glimpses of the lush landscape outside. Everything needed for pooja was thoughtfully arranged at the feet of the deities, creating a sacred and inviting space that filled my heart with tranquility and reverence.

Maa told me what to use and where everything was kept before taking her leave because she has already performed the pooja.

It took me fifteen minutes to finish the main worshiping part before I finally got on my knees, attached my forehead to the back of my hands with my palms joined under my forehead on the ground.

Dear God, please forgive me for my every wrong doing. You have always seen everything and I'm leaving it to you to punish me however you want. I never meant any of that, but, people say that I'm a bad luck and maybe that luck only caused everything.

I'm no one and nothing infront of you, your blessings are the sole reason for my existence. I believe in you. I have devoted myself to you.

So God, I beg you to spare everyone tangled in this web, for, no one deserves this except a few. Kill me, I don't care but please spare the others.

I hope Dhruv wakes up and doesn't forget anyone. His family has already endured enough, no more please. Just... don't make him hate me. That's all I could ask for after everything I did to him. His innocence, his kindness, please save them for someone better, someone who deserves him and who he deserves. Keep everyone happy.

I won't ask for myself because, I've already got so much that now happiness itself might fail to make me truly happy, how I used to be.

Concluding my prayer, I straightened my back before touching the deities' feet and taking their blessings and walked outside.

Maa had asked me not to distribute any flower to the family members today because she has already done that. She asked me to do it from tomorrow.