Chapter Sixteen: Mutual Affection, Life and Death Promised

Fei Yang gently smiled and pulled me into his arms.

"Meng Er," his voice seemed a bit nervous.

"Hmm?"

"Are you really willing to give yourself to me in marriage?"

His words reminded me of a long time ago when he had asked me if I knew what it meant to give myself to someone, and I foolishly suggested he find something colorful to carry me back to his home. Oh, the naive and cute Wen Meng from back then.

I lowered my head, my voice as soft as a whisper, "Hmm."

He lifted my chin so I could look into his eyes, his tone now devoid of teasing, carrying a serious weight, "Meng Er, let's truly become husband and wife today, okay? Let Fei Yang take good care of you."

His eyes were so bright, but the deep affection in them reminded me so much of my Wu Jiu. It made me recall how, throughout the many years, Wu Jiu had always lifted me up to look into his eyes, while I would usually smile and close my eyes contentedly, nestling into his embrace as he gently stroked my fur.

Wu Jiu's words echoed in my heart. They were filled with such love, yet they pierced my heart like a knife.

"Even if I am no longer in the Seven Realms, at least he will be there to take care of you for me."

But could Fei Yang truly take Wu Jiu's place? After hundreds of years of tender love and companionship, I found that nearly everything reminded me of Wu Jiu's words. So how many more centuries would it take for me to truly let Fei Yang into my heart? And even if time passed, how could I ever erase the attachment I had for Wu Jiu?

Fei Yang said that his heart was small, that it could only hold one person, and I was grateful for that. Yet even if I gave myself to him, in my heart, there would always be only Wu Jiu.

I looked at him in silence, and he quietly waited for me.

After a long while, I finally spoke, "Fei Yang, Meng Er is your immortal partner; this is something that cannot be changed within the Seven Realms."

Fei Yang smiled, though it was tinged with bitterness, "Meng Er, being immortal partners is a matter of your celestial realm, but being husband and wife is a matter of our mortal world."

I shook my head, "Fei Yang, I don't understand what it means to be a husband and wife."

Fei Yang slowly replied, "Mutual affection, life and death promised."

I stared at him in a daze, tears welling up in my heart. Mutual affection, life and death promised? I had already shared mutual affection with Wu Jiu for hundreds of years. No matter what kind of affection it was, I simply liked being together with him, and he enjoyed pampering me. But in Kunlun and the celestial realm, there was never such a thing as life and death. If Wu Jiu truly could not survive his tribulation and no longer existed in the Seven Realms, with whom would I promise my life and death?

With Fei Yang? Mortals live for one lifetime, while celestial beings live for many lifetimes, never changing. Since I had begun dual cultivation with Fei Yang and he had entered the innate realm, we were no longer just mortal husband and wife; we were immortal partners. This meant I would no longer have the chance to stay with Wu Jiu for eternity, unless I could bear to watch Fei Yang die alone.

No, I knew I couldn't do that; I couldn't bear it.

Looking into Fei Yang's eyes, I knew he loved me just as much as Wu Jiu did. He even told everyone that I was the only one in his heart, but I truly felt sorry for him. I couldn't even bring myself to say a few comforting words to make him happy.

So, I remained silent, watching as Fei Yang's smile gradually faded with my silence. He gently laid me back down on the couch and pulled a silk blanket over me.

"Meng Er, you have suffered a lot for me these days. Sleep well; I will watch over you."

I looked up at him, but he wouldn't meet my gaze.

"Fei Yang… I…"

Before I could finish, Fei Yang interrupted me, "Meng Er, I understand. You should sleep. I've just opened my meridians; it's better for me to practice a bit more. Sleep; I'll be right here beside you."

I curled up in the corner of the large couch, facing inward, while Fei Yang indeed sat beside me as he said, taking some of the thousand-year stone milk I had stored in a jade bottle, repeatedly circulating the spiritual energy throughout his body to cultivate.

I had always loved sleeping; I could fall asleep immediately when I nestled into Wu Jiu's arms. Even after I gained a mortal body and came to Lin'an with Fei Yang, I often lounged on the couch, enjoying the spring sleep while the sun lingered outside.

But after all these days, I should have been exhausted enough to fall asleep as soon as I lay down, yet I couldn't sleep at all.

I wasn't thinking of Wu Jiu, I wasn't thinking of Fei Yang, I wasn't thinking of my sister in Kunlun or my master in the celestial realm, nor was I thinking of that damned Yuan Xi and the Golden Armored God who was tied to him… I wasn't thinking of anything, yet I just couldn't sleep.

It felt as if my heart was empty, hollow, devoid of everything.

What do people call this feeling in the mortal realm?

I didn't know.

I only knew that tears kept flowing, soaking my arms where I rested my head, and then soaking the silk beneath me. Oh, mortals call this silent weeping; it is said that only when one's heart is truly broken can they cry so silently. When I cried before, I wanted everyone in Kunlun to hear me. Even when I was with my master, I would always cry loudly, until Wu Jiu came to rescue me. But now, what did I have to cry about? Who could save me? What was I to be saved from?

I still didn't know. I only knew that the tears were slowly bringing out my sorrow, and then new sorrow would fill the emptiness of my heart, causing the tears to flow endlessly.

After crying until I was exhausted, I finally fell into a deep sleep, vaguely feeling someone was wiping my tear-stained face. That warm lip awakened me from my slumber, and I heard Fei Yang's low voice.

"Meng Er, sigh, Meng Er."

I opened my eyes to see Fei Yang leaning down, looking deeply into my eyes, softly saying, "Meng Er, it's my fault."

I smiled faintly, "You're wonderful; you only have me in your heart. What's wrong with that?"

Fei Yang smiled, this time with less bitterness and more openness. He lay down beside me, turned on his side, and embraced me, "You're also wonderful; you only have one person in your heart. Even if it's not me, hey, it's really not a big deal."

I looked at him in surprise, "You don't care?"

"I do care. But…" Fei Yang hesitated, not finishing his thought.

"But what?"

He smiled bitterly but didn't answer my question. "Meng Er, have I ever mentioned my master to you?"

What did Fei Yang's matters have to do with his master? I felt a bit dizzy, unable to think clearly. Perhaps I had cried too much? When I was Wen Li, crying was merely a tactic; I had never experienced such heartfelt sorrow. It seemed that gaining this mortal body was a calamity in itself.

"No, Fei Yang, who is your master? Is he an immortal?"

"No, he is a high monk."

"A high monk?" I was taken aback. Isn't a high monk a practitioner of Buddhism? Could it be that Buddhism really returned?

Fei Yang nodded, "Yes, my master was once a monk on Mount Shaohao. The Shaohao sect actually has two branches: one focuses on martial arts, and the other on law. It is said that the martial branch was established to protect the Buddhist teachings, but as time passed, both branches gradually claimed to be the orthodox one, leading to no further interactions."

"My master practiced superior martial arts in the martial branch of the Shaohao sect since childhood. Who would have thought that after mastering martial arts, he would attain enlightenment through martial means and begin studying Buddhism? Later, he even went to Shaohao Temple to discuss the teachings with those who practiced Buddhism."

"I may have mentioned it to you before, Meng Er. The Buddhist teachings in the Central Plains originated from the Western Regions. Although they established a sect, there has always been only one person who inherits the Dharma bowl each generation. The inheritance of the Dharma bowl is a significant matter, not only concerning the survival of the Shaohao Temple branch but," Fei Yang's expression grew somber, "but for some reason, the rulers of the Central Plains have always favored Daoism over Buddhism, and wars have destroyed countless temples. Therefore, the inheritance of the Dharma bowl is even more crucial, as it relates to the survival of Buddhism in the Central Plains."

Fei Yang spoke so seriously that it reminded me of Wu Jiu's words about the calamities of people in the past, and I repeated what Wu Jiu had said back then, feeling somewhat confused.

"Five hundred years ago, on the day Brother Chi Leopard faced his tribulation, a heavenly omen appeared in the void between the celestial realm and the divine realm, seemingly predicting that Buddhism would re-emerge in the world. The celestial realm was very anxious about this, and over the past few hundred years, they have set up several large schemes, seemingly trying to prevent Buddhism from returning."

Fei Yang was shocked. "What did you say, Meng Er?"

"Oh," I came to my senses, "this isn't what I said; it's what Wu Jiu told me. He said that the divine realm had given a heavenly omen, which should signify that Buddhism would reappear in the world, but the celestial realm is unwilling to allow Buddhism to return, so they will likely try all means to obstruct it."

Fei Yang's expression grew heavier, and after a long silence, he simply said, "Sleep, Meng Er."

"What's wrong, Fei Yang?"

"Nothing."

I looked at him and smiled, "Fei Yang, I'm not an ordinary mortal girl. At least, once I finally overcome my mortal calamity and attain the dharma body, that Golden Armored God will no longer be our opponent."

Fei Yang also smiled, but it was clearly insincere, "Sleep now. Mortal matters are not your concern, Meng Er. We mortals will resolve our own issues. I've heard that the mortal realm is the foundation of the celestial realm; without mortals, there are no immortals. Moreover, if immortals face tribulations, they need to cultivate anew in the mortal realm. So, I believe neither the divine realm nor the celestial realm will act recklessly in the mortal realm. You should just focus on overcoming your mortal calamity and return to Kunlun."

I didn't want to argue with him, so I directly asked, "Fei Yang, did your master receive the Dharma bowl of Shaohao?"

Fei Yang was taken aback, then smiled bitterly, "Yes."

"And you? You said you could not care about me, but because you received your master's inheritance, you want to leave the secular world? Fei Yang, are you considered a disciple of Buddhism?"

As I spoke, my heart ached terribly. The thought of Fei Yang becoming like those monks, free from desires, and no longer being my Fei Yang filled me with fear.

Finally, Fei Yang slowly shook his head, "I never knew my parents or family. I was found by my master as an orphan on the mountain when he left Shaohao. It was my master who raised me. He once told me that my worldly ties were hard to sever, so it was better for me to only inherit his martial arts, thus I am not a person of the Buddhist sect. He only said that if the time came, I should do my utmost to protect the Shaohao branch of Buddhism."

"So, you mean," I bit my lip and thought for a moment, "the Shaohao Dharma bowl has been inherited by two branches?"

Fei Yang nodded, "Correct. The Three Jewels of Buddhism—Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha—are all present in Shaohao. I fear that more than half of the Buddhist texts in the Central Plains are there, and many are rare and precious. Therefore, Shaohao must have the Dharma bowl inheritance."

"Then, if Shaohao were to be obliterated like that desolate temple by West Lake, would Buddhism in the Central Plains decline from then on?"

Fei Yang's expression grew heavier, though he spoke lightly, "It won't, Meng Er. After all, Shaohao is also part of the martial lineage, and the martial branch of the Shaohao sect protects it."

After saying this, he embraced me and said, "Don't worry about the matters of the mortal realm, Meng Er. In a few days, I'll send you to Kunlun. Your lady will help you find your Wu Jiu. As for the He He Dan issue, since your lady can refine the elixir of immortality, finding a solution shouldn't be difficult."

Fei Yang's words made me more determined. I shook my head and smiled faintly, "Fei Yang, do you really think I'm still just a little Wen Li? Why does Yuan Xi want you to drink for a hundred years? Why did he show kindness to me for no reason? Why did my Wu Jiu choose Shaohao to leave behind his Wu Jiu Bi and that verse that can only be seen when holding the Wu Jiu Bi… And, Fei Yang," I reached out to caress his face, softly saying, "Fei Yang, Meng Er is no longer a little girl. Regardless of whether there is an antidote for the He He Dan, it no longer matters. Meng Er…"

I bit my lip, lowering my head, my face finally turning red, "Meng Er has already belonged to Fei Yang a few days ago."

Fei Yang didn't speak. I looked up at him; his expression was complex, likely engaged in an internal struggle.