Entry 8: He Kissed Me!

I love the self-destruct button! I should hit it more often! Yes, I know, more than one journal entry in a day! But you will never guess what just happened!

When Preston dropped me off this morning, I thought it was over for me like I said before. I only thought that because when he drove me home, he was completely silent and didn't say a word. He didn't even look my way. He just drove and followed the directions I gave him to my house.

I thanked him for the ride and still, he didn't say anything. He just drove off and went home. I didn't know what to think of the previous night because I could barely remember anything after leaving the party.

That is, until Preston came over tonight!

After I finished writing in this journal, I went downstairs for dinner. My dad didn't come to the dining room tonight and decided he'd rather eat in his study like a weirdo. I just can't believe how childish he's being. Yeah, maybe I shouldn't have called him out yesterday but he had it coming for at least 3-6 months. 9 months of ignoring your child is diabolical.

Mom and I were now sitting in silence. She was mad at me over Saturday night's dinner as well. In fact, she was eating a whole separate meal of lobster bisque and crackers while I was eating reheated leftovers. About 10 minutes into our meal, I heard a car pull up outside of our house.

"I wonder who that could be?" My mother asked.

I got up from the table, assuming it was Leah coming to ask me about what happened last night.

"It's probably just Leah, Mom." I rolled my eyes getting up.

When I opened the door, at the bottom of the driveway, Preston was getting out of his car. I shut the front door and speedily walked over to him.

"What's up, lightweight."

"What are you doing here?" I asked in a panicked tone.

The last thing I wanted was for my parents to see me with a guy. He looked so good though. He was just wearing a black hoodie and sweatpants but he had a baseball cap on too and it was backwards. Ugh, why did he have to look so good in sweatpants. And the hat holding his hair out of his face made him look even more handsome.

"We should talk," he shrugged casually.

"About?" I asked.

"Last night."

"Last night? What about last night?"

When I asked, I meant it. I truly didn't remember. Did he want to talk about Drake? Did he want to talk about the ride home? Did he want to talk about me sleeping over? I really didn't remember most of it.

"Last night in my bedroom. What you said...."

I squinted my eyes at him trying so hard to concentrate on what he was saying. I was racking my brain forcing myself to remember what the hell he was talking about.

Then it hit me. Looking at his face, my memories flooded my brain like a bad dream.

I remembered how we got to his house and he carried me inside. Alyssa had gone to her room and offered for me to sleep in there. Preston told her to go to bed and that he would stay up and watch me in case I vomited in my sleep. How romantic....

He laid me down on his bed and put one of his large t-shirt on me. It wasn't until I was fully covered that he pulled my dress off from the bottom so I could sleep comfortably. I knew he knew I was completely naked and still he didn't try anything. I think Drake would've climbed on top of me right then and there. Not Preston though. Preston went and got make up removing wipes from Alyssa and wiped my face clean.

"You look pretty without makeup."

I remember protesting those words but he insisted I looked good. He was still stone faced as usual. Not a single expression on his face that could help me read into whether or not he liked me. He acted like it though and that was when I decided to trust his actions more than his words. I remember crying because I am an emotional drunk. No surprise there. I was rambling on and on about Drake and how he harasses me, my parents and how they hate me, Leah and how I'm a horrible friend and then I moved on to Preston. He just sat on the bed beside me listening to me talk about him.

" I have a crush on you but you don't even like me. Why don't you like me?"

"I never said that."

"You don't like me. I know you don't like me. You just tolerate me cause I'm always hanging around."

"That's not true."

"Then why don't you like me? Why don't you think I'm pretty?"

"I think you're pretty."

"Then why don't you like me? You don't like me! You won't kiss me? Why won't you kiss me? Can you kiss me just once?"

"Not tonight."

"Why not?"

The more I remembered, the more I cringed. Even standing in front of him in that moment knowing he saw me like that, begging for him in a drunken stupor. I was mortified. And that wasn't even the worst of it. The replay just kept going.

"Why won't you kiss me? Please just one time."

"Not tonight," he repeated.

"Why?" I whined.

"Because you're drunk and you don't know what you're talking about. Why don't you go to sleep and tell me how you feel in the morning."

I remember sobbing like a sloppy drunk moron until I fell asleep. Before we left his house, we didn't speak. Like I said, on the drive to my house we didn't speak. And when he dropped me off he never said a word. Was he just waiting for me to follow up on everything I said while I was blackout drunk?

"Oh shit," I said, covering my mouth. "That's so fucking embarrassing."

Preston smirked and nodded his head.

"It's all coming back now, isn't it?"

I covered my face in embarrassment and shook my head. I could've died at that moment. I could hear him walk around his car. He was standing right in front of me. I could sense it. Then, he took my hands and removed them from my face. We were standing so close I could hear my breath.

He did that thing where he looked down at me right into my eyes.

He also did that thing where he ran his fingers down my hair. He twirled it in his finger and dropped it when he reached the end of its length.

"Did you mean it?" He asked. "Do you want me to kiss you?"

Again with the poker face.

What did he want me to say?

What was I supposed to say?

"Yeah," I just admitted softly.

He didn't say anything in return.

Preston just nodded his head understandingly. He looked away for a moment before returning his gaze to me.

In one swift movement, he tilted my chin up, leaned down and pressed his lips against mine.

Preston put his hand behind my head, holding it in place as he tenderly and slowly moved his lips. Then he opened his mouth against mine inviting me to do the same.

He just kissed me and kissed me, over and over. I could hardly breathe and I didn't want him to stop. I hope he was focusing on my lips hard enough to ignore the fact that I was shaking. Literally trembling at his touch.

I was surprised by his kiss and how good it was. He didn't just shove his tongue down my throat and swirl it around while trying to fondle my body. That was Drake's style. Preston kissed me with actual feelings. It was emotional and there was a sense of passion in it.

When he pulled away, I was disappointed. I honestly just wanted to keep going. His eyes scanned over me like he was trying to read my reaction.

"Are we good?" He asked.

I couldn't speak. I was frozen in place and I didn't know what to do. How could he just kiss me so amazingly and act so blasé about it.

"Yeah," I squeaked out.

"Cool," he said as he walked over to the driver's side of his car. Preston pulled the door open but before he got in, he hesitated.

"What time is your cheerleading practice?" He asked.

"3 to 5," I stated.

"Okay."

That was all he said before getting in his car and driving away. There I was again. Left dumbfounded with my fingers on my lips trying so hard to remember what it felt like to have his on mine.

Just my luck, mom actually got up and managed to watch the whole thing from the window. The second I entered the house, I got blitzed.

"Parker, who was that boy? He looks too old for you! What are you doing with a boy? You know you're not supposed to be with boys! And canoodling in the driveway like that!?"

"Canoodling? Mom, relax. He just kissed me."

"Relax? A kiss!? You just had a full blown make out session in front of all of our neighbors! Are you trying to give your father and I a heart attack? Who is that boy, Parker! Tell me right now!"

Blah blah blah. My mom needs to chill. She just thinks I'm going to send naked pictures to him now too. She doesn't think I've learned my lesson. Trust me when I say LESSON LEARNED.

"Can you just drop it mom!" I yelled.

My mom took a deep breath and calmed herself down. I was actually impressed by this. Which is why I gave in to her last request.

"Can I just get a name? Please, just a name so I can put it to the boy's face."

I sighed, deeply annoyed but I was hoping if I threw her a bone, she'd leave me the hell alone.

"Preston, Mom. His name is Preston."

I quickly bolted up the stairs to my room, ran to my desk and wrote this all down because no way do I ever want to forget this day.

The day Preston Dunn kissed me for the first time