Chapter 10: "Never Again"

Everyone feared Joshua. He was the strongest, most intimidating boy in school—even David. And for a long time, even Lily had feared him.

Joshua would always bully her, mocking her for her facial hair and her weight. She had never spoken back, never fought back, afraid of the beating that would follow if she did.

But then came the day everything changed.

It had been an ordinary school day. Her dad had come to visit and had given her extra money—something that didn't happen often. Overjoyed, she had gone to the school canteen during break to buy her favorite thing at the time: cake. A small treat, but one that made her happy.

She had been smiling when she walked back upstairs, clutching her little cupcake like it was gold. But the moment she reached the top, Joshua stuck out his leg.

Lily hadn't seen it coming.

She tripped, the cupcake flying out of her hands, smashing against the floor.

Laughter erupted around her.

"Did you see that?" someone jeered. "She almost caused an earthquake!"

Heat burned in her cheeks. She wanted to cry, but she didn't. She never did.

Keeping her head down, she bent to pick up the ruined cake, willing herself to disappear.

But Joshua wasn't done.

He stepped in front of her, blocking her way. "So this is what you got with the money your dad gave you?" His voice dripped with mockery. "Your poor dad couldn't afford the big cake, so you had to settle for the smallest cupcake, huh?"

Lily froze.

Say whatever you want about me—I won't talk back.

But never. Ever. Talk bad about my parents.

She felt the shift inside her before she even realized what she was doing.

She placed her cake on the nearest desk and, without hesitation, swung.

Her fist crashed into Joshua's face, snapping his head to the side. Before he could recover, she tackled him to the ground.

A gasp rippled through the crowd, but no one moved to stop her.

She straddled him, pinning his arms beneath her knees, and unleashed every ounce of rage she had been swallowing for years.

"How dare you talk about my father like that?!" she cried, tears spilling down her cheeks as her fists rained down.

Joshua, the so-called strongest boy in school, didn't even get the chance to fight back.

No one interfered. No one tried to pull her off him. They just stood there, watching, stunned into silence.

By the time the teachers arrived, Joshua was a mess. Both of them were forced to kneel with their hands up, but when the full story came out, Lily wasn't punished.

Joshua was.

The teachers were astonished that she had taken down the so-called Almighty Joshua.

When she was sent back to class, she could feel every eye on her.

And then, the moment she stepped inside, the class erupted into cheers.

They hailed her like she had just won the lottery.

And from that day on, Joshua never bullied her again.

David snapped back to the present, he saw her gaze piercing into his.

"You're not even half the nightmare he was," she said coldly. "So don't ever test me again."

David sat frozen, his breath uneven, his pride shattered.

Lily smirked. "Oh, are you surprised?" she mocked. "Never thought I could still throw a good punch, huh?"

David didn't answer.

"Fuck you, David," she spat, venom dripping from every syllable.

With that, she turned and walked away, leaving him sprawled on the ground, speechless.

Lily walked far, her steps heavy against the pavement. I won't cry. I won't cry, she kept telling herself, but the words felt hollow.

Then David's cruel words echoed in her mind: You smiled too much. It made you look cheap and very unattractive.

She stopped in her tracks. A lump formed in her throat, and before she could stop it, tears spilled down her cheeks. A sob wracked her body, followed by another. Idiot, idiot, idiot, she muttered, cursing herself.

When she had cried to her heart's content, she wiped her face and made her way home. As she walked, she knew that with how well she cried, even if someone died, she wouldn't even be able to shed a tear, even if she wanted to

The house was empty when she arrived. Her siblings were at school, and her parents were at work. The silence felt vast, almost suffocating, wrapping around her like a cold, invisible shroud. She shivered but quickly shook it off.

I need a distraction.

Korean dramas. Nothing comforted Lily like a good K-drama and plantain chips. She pulled out her laptop, downloaded a new series, and headed straight to the kitchen. Within minutes, she was frying plantain chips—enough to feed an entire family, though she wasn't cooking for anyone but herself. Her previous plans of skipping meals to lose weight had vanished from her mind, replaced by the sizzling of oil and the golden crispness of the plantain slices.

She settled onto her bed, laptop in front of her, a bowl of chips beside her. As she watched, she felt something close to happiness creep in, warmth spreading through her chest. But by the end of the first episode, the feeling faded. A strange emptiness settled in its place, making her restless.

Snapping her laptop shut, she grabbed her phone and scrolled through her playlist. She needed music—something loud, something to drown out her thoughts.

She connected her phone to the speakers in the living room and blasted Dynamite by BTS at full volume. The beat filled the house, shaking the walls, and she let it take over her body. She danced like no one was watching, singing along to every lyric with unfiltered energy. Music was the one thing she loved more than K-dramas and food.

But then, as suddenly as she had started, she stopped. The restlessness returned. She disconnected the speakers and plugged in her earphones instead, scrolling until she found Twenties by Giveon. The moment the melody hit, tears welled in her eyes again.

"I poured my heart in, don't get me started…" she sang along, voice thick with emotion. As she reached the part that went, I spent my time wondering why, I spent my twenties on you, she glared at the wall, as if staring right into David's face. Fury and heartbreak tangled in her chest, making her breath hitch.

She needed to feel happy again—or at least pretend to be.

Yanking out the earphones, she reconnected to the speakers, this time playing Happy by Pharrell Williams at the highest volume. The entire neighborhood could probably hear it, but she didn't care. She sang, she danced, she twirled around the living room like nothing else mattered.

Then, a sudden craving hit her. She dashed into the kitchen, grabbed a loaf of bread and a tub of butter, and started eating. Slice after slice, bite after bite, she devoured it mindlessly, as if trying to fill an unfillable void. The entire loaf disappeared before she even realized what she had done.

But she refused to care.

She was happy. She had to be happy. Nothing else mattered—not the models she wanted to look like, not the weight she had promised to lose. At this moment, all she wanted was to eat, dance, and sing until exhaustion claimed her.

And so, she did.