[INT. BENTO BOX CAFE – NIGHT]
Five people are huddled around a table absolutely covered in empty bubble tea cups, sushi trays, and one unopened pack of UNO cards.
JESSIE
(fake whisper)
Okay but technically, Snape wasn't evil. He was just British.
MILO
That's not how morality works.
TANYA
Yes it is. Colonialism.
KEANU
(nodding)
She's right. I read two Wikipedia articles and a BuzzFeed quiz, I'm basically certified.
ZACK
BuzzFeed doesn't count unless it's "What Disney Princess Are You?"
KEANU
I got Mulan.
JESSIE
You got Mulan?
(beat)
I got Mulan.
KEANU
Wait. Are we the same person?
TANYA
This explains the vibe.
Laughter. The group is tipsy on sugar and the thrill of being extremely unserious on a Tuesday night.
MILO
Okay next question: What's the capital of Kazakhstan?
ZACK
Your mom.
JESSIE
Bro you've been saying "your mom" to every answer.
ZACK
And yet I've never been wrong.
KEANU
(quietly)
It's Astana.
Everyone turns to him.
TANYA
What the hell. How do you know that?
KEANU
I kill time with Wikipedia.
ZACK
He kills Wikipedia?
MILO
That checks out. He looks like the kind of guy who edits obscure pages for fun.
JESSIE
No no no, he looks like the kind of guy who'd be the final boss in a mental health app.
KEANU
(smiling)
That's fair.
[EXT. BENTO BOX CAFE – PARKING LOT – LATER]
Everyone's saying goodbye. Hugs, waves, laughing. Tanya stays back.
TANYA
Hey… Keanu?
KEANU
Yeah?
TANYA
I had fun tonight.
KEANU
Me too.
TANYA
We should hang out sometime. Just us.
She smiles. It's sweet. Nervous. Vulnerable.
Keanu smiles back.
KEANU
You know what?
TANYA
Yeah?
He stabs her in the neck.
Quick. Clean. Casual.
She gasps—eyes wide—collapsing against the hood of someone's Toyota Corolla.
Blood runs in streaks across the windshield.
Keanu tucks the blade back in his jacket pocket.
KEANU
...Definitely not Mulan behavior.
He walks off.
FADE TO BLACK.